I introduced the birds to the flock
the dove was awkward, the sparrow, excited

but the falcon towered
and the partridge left
and the starling was left to cry
with the eagle just standing by

and who, you ask, who, who am I?

I am the flamingo.
Do I belong?
Not I.

it filters in
uninvited
unwanted
unneeded
yet sometimes the little wisps wish to escape
but can find no way to find a way
out from between the floating
minefield of dust particles

And so my heart
is dark

I am not throwing away my shot
*Although it seems with you, I never had one.

How didn't I get here is the real question.
How didn't I become the person I am?
How didn't I lay down my life for you?
And how haven't I given up yet?

I wish I had a one and only.
Like, the one and only to rule all one and only's.
A best friend. Someone to love.
Someone to tell everything to,
Someone to hold and who will hold me.
I wish I may, I wish I might.

I wish I had the gift of inclusion.
Like, inclusion into all groups and areas ever.
A free entry card. An easy pass.
Somewhere to call home,
Somewhere to feel free to be me.
I wish I may, I wish I might.

I wish I had the heart they say I do.
Like, the heart to trump all hearts.
A caring heart. A selfless heart.
Some way to stop hurting,
Some way to stop thinking.
I wish I may, I wish I might.

I hate feeling like I'm dropping bombs.
And it's always on someone who doesn't deserve them.

You never asked for me to confuse you or to make you wonder how to put your feelings into words.

And Im so sorry I would ever even deign to pressure you.

Don't associate with me.
I'm toxic.

I'd like to pretend for a moment that I was a poet.

My words could mesmerize
and my glance could be seen to be more philosophical
than Socrates and Plato bound together
in chains of writing
and time

My very breath would wisp along the lines of insanity
and my heartbeat, keep time with the frenzied
dance I keep my toes working through
on this tightrope
I have strung
so tight and high

And my heart?

It would be taken.
And it would be happy.
And not confused.