I need to stop this over indulging of thoughts..
I think too much.
my mind races with thoughts that have gone too far.
I eat too much.
my body image is disillusioned and I torture myself every day because of it.
I speak too much.
I do all the wrong things
at all the wrong times.
I'm an unlucky vurtue sent into this world to suffer.
and if I'm not quite sure how much longer I can continue this battle

Drunk in a glass
Drunk in a thought
One all consuming moment
I am lost in thinking
And lost in unthinking seeing
Autonomic functions compunction
Maintains the living construction
But my mind is gone in it all
I am sight and sound and thoughts unheard
Chasing a feeling that's bent on concealing
Hidden behind the layers of things
I am energy transforming,
Matter conforming
To god knows what
I am a corpse out of time
I am drunk and still drinking
Thoughts in my glass and beer in my mind
Though I look I cannot find
My keys

Thank God

Bartender! one more, and call a cab for me

There is a silence in the house
An empty voice
There is a lack of something
And I cannot find it
I wake up early
And get out of bed late.
I do little chores but
I never get anything done
I drive to coffee shops
And cafes
I search for places that have people
But still I am alone
And so I come home
There is a vacancy here
That I cannot explain
There is a void that grows
And every day it feels larger
And the silence gets louder
As if the space in which there is no one
Gets bigger day by day
The echo of it lengthens
And the sound of footfalls
And the creak of old wood stretches outwards
And at the end of it all
It feels like a stadium filled with no one
An arena of empty chairs
And all the howling, cheering life
That isn't there