My days were gloomy, nights were cold
Constant yearning for a woman to hold
And the happiness that I always lack
Because all I loved didn't love me back.
The peace I seek for never came
The demon in me—I couldn't tame
But I hoped to be free from the Devils leash
As I listened to the bishop preach.
But it hath built a house inside of me
All these years, it never let me be
It grew as I grew
I walked— it flew.
It visits me in my dreams
Unaffected by the sounding hymns
To overwhelm me with terror
And it's disguise is the man in the mirror.

I envied the blade she pressed against her skin

       It was closer to her body

Than I had ever been.

The Rays of the sun kissed my eyelids
Exposing my bloodshot eyes
I felt a sudden grasp
By what I slept to escape.
It hugged me tighter than my own mother ever did.
It greeted me with a pain so sharp.

Almost as if it gazed at me in my slumber
And patiently waited till I opened my eyes in the slightest
to inflict me with burden.
Legs weighed a 100 pounds—
I was better off laying helplessly on
my bed
Body felt like I had been ambushed by a legion of demons
in my nightmares,
Overwhelming sadness rested on my heart.
I could feel it happening all over again—
Just like a recovering drunk
as the alcohol slowly dwindled away from his system
And has to deal with the ugly reality
He tried to flee from—
My sleep was my alcohol.
My reality looked me in the eye at dawn
I stared at my ceiling, too weary to fully open my mouth.


And then I muttered, as a tear streamed down my right cheek—
Why did I wake ?
Why did I wake in a world so cruel ?
Why can't i just sleep forever ?

I saw a goddess amongst humans
At first glance
She gave me a feeling my poetic mind couldn't put in words.
I wondered why she walked this earth—
I wondered why a precious being was amidst human beings.
She stood out from every soul that walked past her—
Her eccentricity only made her more alluring.
Thousands of mysteries were hidden behind her innocent face—
I hoped to unfold them.
Her seductive brown eyes made me inquisitive—
Inquisitive about what went on in that beautiful mind.
I yearn to see what was hidden beneath her clothes
I yearn to explore her unblemished body if she let me,
And kiss those full lips till it became numb.
She was Oh-so distant yet she attracted me
She was Oh-so gentle yet easily recognizable in a crowded room
Why ?
I guess because her skin glowed like the moon in the vastness of space—
The depths of her eyes told a story that will never bore—
Or maybe she was just a goddess amongst humans.

The falling rain couldn't ease the thunder storm in my mind
Beautiful voices from the spinning vinyl did me no justice
The night only gave my demons shelter—
But still, at dawn I yearned for the night
Because I found an ounce of solace in the absence of light.
hope was deeply buried in the white powder-diamond in the rough
Ironic that it prevented me from taking my life while killing me slowly
Still, a day without it felt like 72 hours of misery;
Hell on earth was an understatement—
I could see the smiling faces of my fiends as they proceeded to prey on my helpless self
No one watched as they devoured me
Except the four walls of my room.