Am I always going to be in her shadow?
Am I always going to be somebody's second choice?
Am I always going to feel this way?
Am I always going to make mistakes?
Am I always going to do stuff so that my parents don't trust me?

What did I do to deserve this?
To feel this way?
I don't like this feeling.
I hate feeling this way.
I hate feeling like I want to **** myself, or that I don't deserve anything, or that I am a mistake. I hate it.

I really want to **** myself,
do you know what I want more?
For somebody to notice that I'm feeling this way,
For somebody to do something.
For somebody to actually care about me.