I forgive my baby
She has done nothing wrong
She reaches out
She sends a silly emoji
It communicates nothing of the truth
Nothing of the depth she is really feeling
She doesn't express her true need
That lies behind the emoji
The true longing to communicate
To speak truth
Let it be what it is
Let go and let flow

Never take anyone
for granted,
you don't realize
how much you need them
until they're gone

I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.