Ice pack pillows...

So many and so close like skin to my skull.

Pain so vicious that my bodies aches from fibromyalgia are numb.

Any scent is like an attack, pounding my head...

I have no strength to fight back.

My stomachs tired too...

It refuses to hold any food.

Light is like lasers set to explode.

And moving...

Moving causes silent tears for fear of adding sound...

I'm in a world of torture, only one with severe migraines knows.

With prescription relief comes a side effects pain...

Thought through carefully it's worth the trade.

One morning or day gone...

Maybe even a few...

Before comeplete comfort sits a dull draining day...

After each tormenting migraine I find a sweet appreciation for my every day physical pains.

You're fine, son
I'm worried
You should be
relax
I'm scared dad
It's okay
I don't want to lose her
You might not
But
You need to stop doubting
I can't face this
If she has the heart you think you've found
You need to be what you speak of and keep it

I know she loves me
but she has a hard road ahead of her
You know what, perhaps she doesn't?
Perhaps your worries are your own
Yes they are dad, mine alone but
Then don't lose her by hiding away!
deep breaths

But dad, what about mum?

I used to love crows and blackbirds,
But since loving you,
I'd rather hear a bluebird sing
Than a raven caw.

I could hear it from the kitchen
Coffee maker bubbling
Stomach rumbling
I could hear him throwing up
ADHD meds worked
But made him sick a lot

Poor little baby boy
I had to hide from the sick
Afraid of insides outside
And I could hear his tears fall and dry
Brother, sister, comforting
Giggling
Holding his hair back

When the sick was gone
I ventured in  
The sick boy, better now
Big brother filling up his bath tub
Dreadlocks *******
Toys that wind up
Warm water
Soap bubbles
Happy face

Big brother cleans the sick off
Little cups of water down his back
Tickles his face
Kisses his forehead
Loving, bubbling
Sick like brother

I watch and learn love
And I'm in love with it all

Big brother helps big sister with homework
I stay with sick baby boy
His red popsicle melts into his bathwater
But stays in his tummy
He tells me about school

I listen and learn love
And I fall in love with it all over again

He holds her like
a hand of cards
Throws her down
like the jack of diamonds
That wipes the smile
from her heart.
he pushes the pillow from the bed
rising
Slowly
he struts away
puts on rumpled clothes
over yellow underwear,
throws on his cowboy hat,
grabs a beer...
heads out the door

through the window
a breeze  blows
the door shut.

meow,
the cat says.

I'm all yellowing pages, ink stained fingers, and daffodil bouquets, and wrath.
You're all broken book spines, gears, and wires, and pride.
I'm all hair falling in my face, cold hands, and a blush peppering my features.
You're all eyebrows furrowed in concentration, warm arms, and focused aqua eyes.

I'm a hummingbird's fluttering wings, bouncing left and right with self-righteous hope and faith.
You're a bluebird's soft song, soaring and diving into resolution and problem solving.

I'm a flurry of thoughts spinning too fast too fast too many colors too much passion too much fire too much noise too much touching not again not again all the while making the best speech I'll ever regret.
You're calculated and cold, knowing what nerve to strike and when, but holding yourself from doing so because you're better than that.

I'm withdrawn and frigid and bubbling over with warmth and love to give,
You're acutely aware of your virtues and flaws.

I am too smart for my own good,
And you're too smart for yours.

I'm all small stature with big words,
You're all the things I want to be able to say.