My eyes
Used to run exactly like a faucet would
Crying because of every bruise
Head damage
People hitting my head
And calling it a day
Daily
I would trip
Fall
And land on my head
Push
Shove
And land on my head

Every Amber alert I would hear
Would make me cry
Turning on the dials
And tears would be pouring out of my eyes
Because I thought
I would be the next victim
To be kidnapped
Scared to leave the house
Scared to leave my mother

I thought the same about thunderstorms
How the lightning
It would possibly catch the house on fire
When I was sleeping
Or electrocute me when I'm touching a window

Seems to say
Times have changed
Years have gone on
I'm still the same faucet
But now just a ruined one

Drops of water
Leaving the faucet
On unprompted moments
And some
Wouldn't even come out
On the most tear-threatening
Situation
As if the faucet has the mind of its own

The faucet
Would turn on
By mere phantoms
Trying to take out the faucet
And warning to make it shatter

Faucet
Made of china-glass
The fragile glass
Was made to be broken one day
And be replaced by another

The intrusive thoughts
They call out to me
Whispering
In my ear
To take the axe
And ****** the first person nearby

They consume my brain
Once I pick up a pair
Of scissors
My thoughts
Once full of the intention of cutting up a crocheted pear
Now reduced to one
With the sole intent
To cover myself with super **** scars

They colonize
They mineralize
They reorganize
They way how
My nerves
And brain functions

They tell me
Everything is fine
When I do mere cat scratches
At my thighs and arms
They tell me to do more
And everything will be okay
They tell me
Everything is their fault anyway
They're the reason why I'm doing it
The stings
Fall away
And they keep encouraging
Telling me to try to cut deeper
With a dull blade

The axe
The axe is telling me to release my anger
Onto someone
Someone that deserves
Getting an axe
Thrown at their head
It's telling me
I'm not going to be a danger
To society
Or myself
If I follow
It's command

These thoughts
Are begging to see
Blood
Even though
I'm scared to see
The blood
I'm scared to see the insides of humans
Yet somehow
I manage
To let them see some blood
One way
Or another

From begging for me
To be punching holes
In the walls
To making me want to slit my own throat
And call it a day

They help me
By letting everything go by
They provide me
And help me see
That everything is going to be fine
They remove most of my struggles
And blame it on someone else
They reassure me
Like no one else can

They're like a leech
Yet, I still love them