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Yanamari Jun 2024
Going through the motions
Holding your peace at hand
Until I passed down by you
And you chose to take a stand
Enraged at my choices
Your words came tumbling like sand
Chasing me up
Until you were assured command
But surprise surprise
Your words' intended target rebound
And I, in my subconscious' control, withstand
Words leaving my mouth
Unplanned
Stranger ignored to
Stranger unmanned
Unable to raise your gaze to where
Your ego cannot expand
You leave
And I take in the situation so I don't misunderstand
It was not my actions but
The way I was dressed that had me ******
Cursed, directed animosity at
But you reached me at a point at which
I don't care - and
Looking at you I question why you
Forgot to look at the mirror; tanned Complexion making you and me
No different
And yet you choose self-hatred
And I won't be weaker.
Choose your own battles
For I fight mine quicker.
Won't find me fallen
Because I set the pace with vigor.
Too many a times I've faced your kind;
You're not the first and
You're not the last,
Going through your lot
Will eventually become like
Breathing air.
Choose your battles
If you dare.

This is not what I want to feel
Not what I want at all,
Not when my heart beats softly
Asking for a little warmth.
Discriminators play a big game but easily end up with their tails between their legs *shrug*. Writing this poem feels... dunno. I thank God for strengthening my heart and will. Not proud of what excuses people come up with for their ****** behaviour
Yanamari Jun 2024
My heart beats to your silence
Surrounded by the you of yesterday
Lurching for your company
Reaching out to no avail

The me of yesterday is no more
And the you of now is unknown
To me who sees only shrouds
Hanging between us

Let it be known that my feelings for you remain
Deep felt and innocent
And yet they suffer all the same
But the rope was let go
And the curtain laid
Our goodbyes said
Closure in vain
For my heart still beats
Beats to your name
Old friend
The barrier of our goodbye remains
That I would not change
And yet I yearn all the same
Pers. ref: Fedora-EaOnMA
Yanamari May 2024
Accusations are made by the entitled
And for my blood, I react unbridled
Honest, to a fault
For my sadness is too much
My happiness overboard
And my silence uncalled.
I feel no fault in the way my heart tears
Yearns
Recedes
Flowing out uninhibited,
Like blood in my veins

And I'll cry if I couldn't sleep
I'll laugh at a book I read
Hold back my words because, how much will they mean?
How much will you see of me
Feel of me
Stand by me
Hear, when I speak?

And so I choose to feel
Feel for myself whose feelings remain in one body
Feel for big and small, all that I want, no more
For my cup full, slightly tipped, and it'll spill
Yanamari Mar 2024
Like sea foam settling the sand
Like waves laying straight the land
Time passes
And you and I
Forget our names that we called ourselves by
Fading into a distant sky
Lost to the shadows of the sunrise
Our meeting calm
Our meeting turbulent
Let the water recede
And with the shifting hand
Brush flat our differences
Like dust wiped off the tv stand
Engrained my memory is of you
And engrained is your memory of me
Knife carved deep, wind stroking my skin
Come tomorrow
You appear as new
And I appear to have forgotten you
You appear free
And I holding what you have done to me
Unable to let go
The tide pulls and pulls
And the rope is set free
Forgetting people that remember you and remembering people that have forgotten you...

Inspired by two people I hadn't seen in a few years. And by my own forgetfulness of the people I've met...

Pers. Ref: MrxtProtAdAdPaGib-IGAVanCr but also MahAbd
Yanamari Mar 2024
You've chosen your path
Oh tyrant
Chosen your path
Oh tyrant
Chosen to birth children into this world
Oh tyrant
Chosen to forsake your responsibilities
Oh tyrant
Your choice
Your choice
Your choice
Only your voice
No other
Can speak
Oh tyrant
Soothsayer not, to those who need it most
Soothsayer to your ego
For whom you crafted a home around you
Oh tyrant
To what benefit do you live?
Dallying in exhaustion
To what effort do you owe?
Oh tyrant
Who can do no wrong
See no wrong
Hear no wrong
Know no wrong...
You are perfect...




Unbirth me
Yanamari Feb 2024
Oh vulnerable me
Shy me
Child within me
I see your desire to be free
Shackled in a far corner I can't seem to see
Showing yourself to those who you like
To those with whom you wish to be
To have a security I can't seem to offer you
A nourishing for which you flee
Starved of the love I do not let you have
Forcing you into a position in which you cannot feel
And maybe,
If I'd let you have that love
You could be
The person you yearn for
But we both know
That's not an option for you and me
And so I lay in my arms,
Silence, my only plea
Yanamari Feb 2024
The world shifts and
Suddenly you're by yourself
Melancholy twirling in your heart
Like an on and off lover
The way it seeps in and
Claims your day
What can you do but feel
And let feel
As if you're in a shelterless rain without an umbrella
Planning will only bring you so far
Rather
Claim the sadness
Before it claims you
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