Tightness in my chest
I cant breath.
The only time I can escape
is when I fall asleep.

Constant nausea
constant fear.
How did this happen
knowing I'm safe here?

It's a constant worry
another will strike.
I worry about it all the time
it makes me lose my appetite.

My sight darkens
my life flashes.
My worries control my thoughts
my heart crashes and burns to ashes.

You have no idea what its like
to live one day in my shoes.
Maybe if you did
you wouldn't judge me as you do

Days of endless struggle
More hopeful pills today
Trying to appear ‘normal’
In some sort of way.

It seems that the struggle
Is always here with me
And I wouldn’t be here now
If guilt would leave me be

I know there’s been many
Who’ve had it worse than I
But that doesn’t always mean
That I wouldn’t say good-bye

People say I have a lot going for me
I’m sorry, but I just can’t see
I can’t see because my worst enemy
Is not my life, but inside of me.

Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency
I’m nothing if I’m not up or down
I’m nothing if just ‘me.’

Very little energy
Wanting to stay in bed
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I’m made of lead.

Wanting to be excited
Wanting to care for more
But when nothing makes sense
It’s hard to focus on the poor.

Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking
It’s hard to keep in touch
With what is happening around me
And not to worry too much.

I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can’t do anything right.
This is how I’ve felt my whole dang life
It didn’t just start last night.

No confidence, no self-esteem
Everybody else is right
To speak my mind is to be a fool
So I just try to ‘sit tight.’

Any one of these problems
Would be a heavy vice
But when you have them ALL
Living seems like a roll of the dice.

He came into my life
when I was just a little girl
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world

One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light

He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl

I lay in bed that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out

I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said

A year had passed along
and then it happened again
My mum was out at work
it was him and me again

I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me

I thought it only happened once
When I had done something bad
but now I knew I was wrong
I felt alone and sad

And 8 years on I got
the courage to tell someone
the police got involved and stuff
I was hated by my mum

she kicked me out that day
and stuck right by his side
saying I was attention seeking
and that it was all lies

so in the end it got too much
and I told the police I lied
everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died

everything was going well
until he sent me those texts
saying he would **** himself
it was all my fault instead

so I went back to the police
and told them it all again
he's moved out for now
its investigating time again

but my mum still hates me
and thinks its all a lie
I feel so alone right now
I wish I would just die

I've told a couple of friends
but its hard for them you see
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me

all I do is mope and cry
because no-one understands
what I feel inside each day
please someone take my hand

I cut myself sometimes
When the pain gets too much
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch

I often think I'll run away
or step into the road
my future seems so black and dim
I'm only 17 years old

And if the case is dropped
he will come back home again
and I'll be back to where I began
In a world of sadness and pain

I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand
I just don't know what to do anymore
I'm scared and on my own

So you see I'm stuck forever
I just want to scream and shout
But there's something you have to know
That for me, there's no way out

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry.
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When mommy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
She's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
She did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You want to know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day mommy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

She screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Mommy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want her to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
She's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
She's lifting her belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

Oh, dear,
Oh, my gosh,
I hope that no one saw,
I wish that I could laugh,
But maybe someone saw,
Maybe I should hide,
But, ah, whatever,
I'll just pull my trousers up.

I was a dare devil,
I always raised the level,
I got bruises and scars,
But that didn't stop me from going bizarre

I would jump and skate,
But it wasn't my fate,
I have to find something else to do,
Before I don't have clue
© Sasha Morales

It's just a small cut,
It's just a harmless scar.
You don't know what goes through my mind,
When I'm alone in the dark.
It's just a deadly thought,
I'm just a forgotten memory,
Deep in my eyes,
My demons are all you can see.
It's just another night,
It's just my one last try,
If you're not here,
Might as well say goodbye.