Sometimes when I feel like my emotions is eating me up and my mind is at constant wonder, I can't write or even concentrate. Sometimes I just lose myself into games and videos - watching, never minding about anything else. Just think about that world I am in the moment – seeing, working my mind to ease some negative emotions. Even though some people may think, I'm just laying around, doing lazy things. Actually I don’t like doing nothing. I want my mind to always work and always think perhaps because I just don’t want to think of reality too much. To avoid the things I don’t want to face, or afraid to face. I always mention in my poems about this door that I fear. Someday I’ll be able to open that, someday… (written last: November 3, 2013)

I still feel this from time to time, but bearable, I can make it, still surviving life...

“I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.”
-J.D. Salinger