If I die tonight,
One scary theory
Is true

If one memory repeats,
For all eternity
I hope it is about you

It's scary
How in a moment I can be fine
Staring into space
Then suddenly
Feel so much pain
So much hurt.

And sometimes I just feel tears fighting to come out,
For unknown reasons.

I lay down and I can finally
Feel at home
Oh do I see someone
Actually enduring solitude
Coffee stained teeth
Smiling into the pillow
Because you're finally okay
To accept your own comfort
Society doesn't exist,
Moments just before drifting into sleep.
Mother nature
Finally not manipulated,
Nobody there to pick the leaf off the tree,
You're grip is loosening up,
And in that moment,
Infinite possibilities,
Your mind cant trick you
Any longer
You would have
Gave up
And caught some z's

Does the earth gravitate?
Does not all matter, aching
affect all matter?
there's no chance at all:
we are trapped by a singular fate.

But id be in suspense for on such
a pretense
you wouldn't be you
As a bathtub lined with white porcelain

They either ******* or killed us.

Ignore all possible concepts and possibilities
Prey that our eventful alien over lords
are not Archibald-based,

Muscles better, nerves more;
forever making poetry in the lap of death, humanity..

i hate you.

I want to go to a place,
where everyone is mad.
And no shame comes with that,
Were being a dreamer is not an oddity.

I want to go to a place were there Is,
no 'society', just a community.  
A place that is made up of wallflowers and misfits,
Yet everyone is excepted.

I want to go to a place,
Were people are not fond of
The rules of the status quo.
Were people cant be judged because
Everyone there is similar,
In the way they think,
The way they act,
The way they carry themselves.

I want to go to a place.
Were I am free.
-Kiya Eagen

i miss her
i'm not supposed to, but the feelings are still there,
they will always be there
i know by the way she looks, touches, smiles,
i feel them
not in the romantic since but
in a way that i'm supposed to, the way your supposed miss you friend
we sat together today and she smiled at me the way she used to,
the way when we were together, she smiled like the way we used to after we kissed, held hands with out being worried that we would get caught.
She looked at me after that smile the way she did when she got all excited when her favorite famous person put out a new photo.
Tomorrow i hope she touches me like she did the morning after, like she did the night i was vulnerable, and she ******* all my loose ends.
A week ago she looked like the mornings when it rained all night and its a little foggy, where you can tell its beautiful but you cant see it all.
still feel them, all these feeling that she may or may not have.
i don't know, maybe its just old times trying to make an appearance again, trying to make me feel like more of a person.
she may be moving on and its my brain making me remember all those good times we had so i don't go back to her, so it'll hurt me more,
maybe i'm ******.
maybe being in love with her and her just loving me is equal to being ******.
right now all the lines are blurred, i guess that's  how your you're not straight because its so blurred that you cant see anything but
her.

this cant be it
this cant be my life
surrounded by red bubbles and C- on all my papers
some math teacher checking out their high school students
some even falling for it because they think its love
"he only treats me like that in bed" turns into
"he only hits me when hes drunk"
this cant be all that I'm living for
this cant be my life
trading secrets and rumors trying to be one of the "cool kids"
smoking some 5$ **** i bought from my principle until my eyes can only see the blurred lines of my sexuality that I am not supposed to question
My brain thinks of my body image like its crack,
My body covered of stretch marks and bad tan lines,
this cant be the way its supposed to be
this cant be my life
id rather be hit by a car than go to school, and I'd bet I'm not the only student that thinks about killing themselves so they dont have to do homework or get called on in class
This cant be my life
This cant be your life
And this cant be our life
But that's how it is, and it wont ever change.