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Amelia Jun 2019
love.
what form could you mean? i knew of one, for all of my life (which, to be far, is a mere 16 years to spare).
from the moment i could speak,
before i knew what meant desire,
i desired for love, all big, all dire.

so, throughout the years it seemed to me,
endless of romantic possibilities.
it all took a number of heartbreaks,
and a painful speech,
for me to walk out onto the street
and find the one, the one that was meant to be.

ever since that day, i struggled deeply.
every happy moment not spent with him was spent in tears.
some days were good,
most were bad,
but years after our first meet,

i met another boy,
and we soon fell in deep.
regardless of this,
my first love remains,
for the first love that should be,
was always to be me.
Amelia Aug 2018
i made a mistake today.

and yesterday.

do you know what i did?

i turned a blind eye to your mistakes.

i shouldn't have,
but my feelings for you seemed to matter more
so i didn't stop myself from thinking you were perfect and
i didn't stop myself from falling too deep

by the time i realised how deep i was in
i was already drowning

maybe if i was physically drowning
someone would have saved me
maybe it could hav even been you.

but i was in over my head
and stopped listening to my heart

i guess it didn't matter in the end
when it all fell apart
Amelia May 2018
when the soldier left from home,
he hugged his wife
and cradled his child
he left the house
with metal slung over his torso
and boarded the ship full of alike thoughts,
not ready
and never will be
prepared for this move

they landed on the ground
and felt the new air
already declaring in mind
their love for this miss wasn't as great as the other
but alas,
they had to make do

and as decades went on,
they were still engaged to this new miss,
some managed to live on to stay on it
but most went out under it
Amelia Dec 2017
Every morning,
When the clock strikes 5,
I get up and sit outside.

I count the people that walk past me,
I hear the words that they speak.

It makes no sense,
Why people want other's pain,
If I were them, I'd not feel sane.

That is why I wish for a peaceful meal,
And a day that wouldn't involve kills.

I want to reach home,
Without a hole in my heart,
And want to stay instead of falling apart.

Is it so hard,
To find what I desire?
I think it is,
Because I always feel tired.

When the people finally go away, I stand up and go inside my 'home', praying to make it alive today.
Amelia Dec 2017
I felt like a doll,
emotionless and all.

I was able to move and talk and think but,
I'm not there, not really.

I looked out of the window and watched the people on the streets.

Some looking happy and excited,
whereas some looked bleak.

I felt like a layer of glass was
seperating me from the world.

It was hard to explain but what I wanted to do was for someone to help me.

They'd ask me if I was okay and I would look at them and say, "No. Not really."

But I know they'd flinch away from the fact and silently roll their eyes,

That I was another lying person,
Who would fake a smile but have problems for miles.

This time, however, it's a little different.
For I'm the person who helped others who fell,
When I'm the one who needed saving most of all.
Amelia Nov 2017
Why didn't you listen?
It would've been better if you did-

When we'd go to the fairs, I'd say, "Let's go onto the rides." And you would look at me with disbelief and say, "No. Let's stare at the lights."

When we'd go to parties, you would pretend I wasn't there.

When I'd ask if you wanted to go out, you'd say, "I don't have any time."

When I asked you for money, you would say, "I won't spare you a dime."

Look at where we are now. You, standing on the ground while I stare you down.
Amelia Oct 2017
What could the light show me?

I had nothing I wanted to see-
I had love and hope and faith and trust 'till she, crushed my dreams-

I could still believe and maybe succeed but I was still stuck in this place in my mind and I couldn't even breathe-
I tried to escape, from my cell but I What could the light show me?

I had nothing I wanted to see-
I had love and hope and faith and trust 'till she, crushed my was prevailed, and soon found-

Maybe if I didn't decide to give up, I would have lived-

Maybe if I realised my mistake, I would have another chance to see-
My regret was a strong as the burning pain in my heart-

Yearning for something as long gone as my life-
I remained in my still, quiet cell, knowing I wasn't worth well-

No one will save me-
No one will care-

For I would drown in my own despair-
I asked another question, in my head,why had I looked for the light when it was already dead?

Time ran, stripping me of its knowledge-
Until one day,I saw the flicker of a light-
It wasn't so bright but it allowed me to finally see a life-

I stood up from my corner to run towards it with a beating heart-
I stood up to run towards my future, with strangely not a heavy heart.
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