Why do I love you
Why do I care
You’ve destroyed me completely
Yet you call and I’m there.

You could rip out my heart
And hand it to me on a silver platter
And I would still love you

And as I tumble through the pages
Of my favorite books,
I fantasize of a better place;
Of a life that isn’t mine;
One where I am courageous
And strong
And unbreakable.
I fantasize of a place
Where I am the heroine
Instead of the villain
In my own story.
I fantasize of this place
And pray for that world to swallow me whole

I long for the days of in between.
The days where I don’t feel like I’m drowning
Or dying of thirst.

I’ve collected many things in my life
But my favorite
Are the memories and stories
I share with you

My depression
Has changed the colors of the world
But how fond I have grown
Of the shades of blue and grey
In which I live

I like sad things.
Sad things make me happy.
Sad things make me feel
Less alone