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Phia Feb 19
I suppose it’s a good thing
That I don’t gamble
Because I would’ve lost it all
Betting on us
Phia Feb 15
I have this part of me,
A glaringly large part of me,
That I must hide from the world.
Symptoms, thoughts, feelings, and emotions
that I have to cram into a little lunchbox.
By the end of the day this little box weighs
a hundred pounds,
And I alone unpack it's contents
every night.

It's exhausting.
And I'm tired.
When I was 17 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My symptoms were so bad and pervasive that they diagnosed me before the age of 18. I have spent the majority of my 25 years in therapy. The sadness, loneliness, and wishes to end my life often overwhelm me. I feel like I can't keep friends. I feel completely alone while I battle this disorder. No one knows about it except for a select few. I feel like I'm lying to everyone. But BPD is so stigmatized that I think most people won't try to understand before they judge me and turn their image of me into my diagnosis. It's exhausting, and I'm tired and I just want to feel normal.
Phia Feb 12
I love rainy days.
I feel like it’s the earths way
Of reminding us
That it’s okay to slow down
Phia Feb 12
I love a rainy day.
It’s the day for lovers
For criers
For readers
For writers.
It’s a day of cleansing
And reset.
Phia Jan 30
She was both the storm
And the sanctuary
At once.
A comforting ferocity
The kind of storm you would readily run into
Instead of away from
For Chrystal
Phia Jan 29
The first time I met you,
it wasn’t love at first sight.
Instead,
it was a slow melody,
building to the most earth shattering crescendo.
Phia Jan 28
It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way your
hand always felt so weightless in mine,
but the absence of it—of you—
feels so heavy.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way
the beat of your heart
and the waves of your breathing
created a rhythm just for my soul.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way
the skin crinkles at the corners of your eyes
whenever you smile or laugh.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep
Cause now I sleep alone
And the bed feels so cold

It’s late
And I can’t sleep
Idk. Just a “shorter ish” version of the other one
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