I woke up flustered,
as I remembered
In my dream,
We were dancing in sheets
High on each other,
we created steam.

My mind is filled with a dull fog
lightly dusting thoughts and memories
allowing access only by feel,
stumbling as though through a dark room
and so when I write through the fog
the underlying residents of my mind
voice their thoughts and concerns
and its funny because I don't even hear
what they're saying until its down
on the screen.

I am a work in progress
And each day I chip away
at who I was
and begin to reveal
who I am
I have started a
revolution within my
bones that has pushed
me to my limits
I have shaken the foundation
of my beliefs and have
shouted in the face of my
insecurities
Though I will never
be perfect
I will be
true to my nature

In those sad words I took farewell:
  Like echoes in sepulchral halls,
  As drop by drop the water falls
In vaults and catacombs, they fell;

And, falling, idly broke the peace
  Of hearts that beat from day to day,
  Half-conscious of their dying clay,
And those cold crypts where they shall cease.

The high Muse answer'd: 'Wherefore grieve
  Thy brethren with a fruitless tear?
  Abide a little longer here,
And thou shalt take a nobler leave.'

I tell strangers in fast-food restaurants
that my existence begins and ends
with you,
like my life is some sick joke.
(Two past versions of yourself walk into a bar.)
But they just scoff some rhetoric and say
"are you going down with the ship?"
Like I just woke up from that dream
everyone has where all their teeth fall out.
And there's a little girl
at the end of the docks
unmooring all the boats
because she thinks they'll float away,
but they just sink.
You see,
no amount of blood can change the colour of the sea
and nothing makes sense if there's no you and me.
I want to show you that I write like I ****,
with wide eyes,
both hands
and all over the house.
I want to tell you that I've been in love with you since I was 15,
that I want to sings songs to you from the passenger seat,
I want to make your bed and watch you fix the tv.
I want to look you in the mouth
and not worry that you'll walk away without looking at mine

The outside is blue
And shaped like a bowl
Perhaps a tank
Perhaps the air I am breathing
Is water
I float in space
No, I swim

I am not a human being
I am a fish in a tank.


--Eleanor Rigby