Something isn’t right.

I don’t understand.

Is this another lie you keep trying for me to believe?

No.

Not again.

I won’t let you do this to me

Ruin my heart and soul

I have nothing left to give

You have no shred of respect.

Not for me, your friends, yourself.

I’ll give you this time to think

But it’s not space you need.

You need a family, your friends, your healthy state of mind

So stop pushing us away.

You’re hurting yourself.

I don’t want to lose you.

But I will.

Enjoy,
The lies you’ve told
The people you’ve hurt
The mess you’ve made

Enjoy,
Living a lie
Mending hearts
Cleaning up after yourself

It’s all you can do now that you’re in so deep

But the good news is
I forgive you.

Whether I should or not
That’s the real question.

Will it ever happen?
Will I ever be forgiven for the things I have done, for the changes I have put you through.
If you knew my heart aches every moment for what I have done to you,
How I have hurt you
Dismissing you.
I do not mean it
Never meant to hurt you
Never meant to change
I used to be perfect, only in your eyes.

At the beginning I thought we were true friends, we talked, we laughed, we cried, but then you hurt me. I hated you I couldn't believe you could do this to me. I thought we were so close that nothing could rip us apart but I was wrong. I stopped talking, I stopped laughing, but I never stopped crying. I thought I would never forgive you, I thought I would hate you for eternity. But the truth is that even though we went through all that it still made us stronger. So all I have to say now is you are forgiven.

I am filled with joy
Because God has forgiven
All of my dark sins.
...

as the blood flowed down
and the nails pierced your hands
you called out to God
and yet he turned his face
and you said
F O R G I V E  
T H E M
for they know not what they do.
And as you hung there
bearing the weight of MY sin.
you said
F O R G I V E
T H E M

... lest I cannot forgive.
I've been mistaken
to think I had a right to live
as though I were righteous
or
irreplaceable.
I wonder,
what is the culmination?
The end result?
For us?
For her?
Have the sins of the mother
tarnished her glory?
Have I paved
a way
for us
in Hell?