I miss your warmth, your touch, your nearness,
I miss the solid figure I see in the darkness,
When I wake at night.

I miss your warm breath,
On my ear when I'm drifting in and out of sleep,
And I miss your hand, lazily resting on my leg when you wake during the long night.

I miss your presence, your comfort, your breathing,
I miss the way you make me feel less alone when I need it

This is my apology to you,
Read it,
Hate it,
Love it,
I don't care just understand this,

I'm sorry for who I am,
I'm sorry I don't understand basic social behaviours,
I'm sorry that I am selfish,
I'm sorry that I don't care,
I'm sorry I don't call,
I'm sorry I don't ask if you're okay,
I'm sorry that I get anxious to ask,
Unsure if I will regret asking,
I'm sorry for crying out loud,
I'm sorry for not listening,
I'm sorry that I question everything,
I'm sorry that you have to repeat everything,
I'm sorry that I never get it,
I'm sorry for hurting your feelings,
I'm sorry for being sorry for myself,
I'm sorry for murmuring,
I'm sorry for being afraid of you,
I'm sorry that I text other people and not you,
I'm sorry that I don't show that I love you,
I'm sorry that I don't consider your feelings,
I'm sorry for sending you this,
I know that it's just words to you.

When you left you took my heart
And I let you
Because I thought it would be easier
Not to care
But it doesn’t work that way,
And without it I am so dead inside
My body is a skeleton
Filled with crumpled leaves,
Hardened flowers,
Distant emotions, and fading memories
They subside like tidewater out to sea
I feel nothing, am nothing
Not even a ghost
Just a barely breathing being,
Dying six feet under the surface

Get that hate off your heart and get me off your mind
No longer your concern so lets move on with time

Cuz there's No time to go backwards, we tried this before
You made it all clear that the real you is sore

Your ego had shown and your prides on the floor
But you took so **** long, now your prize out the door
...
Im not trying to boost but you could have lived lavishly
Cuz no matter our bank account, no matter what tragedy
We kept our heads up, and your soul was so attached to me
But that one last night i had you, you had did me savagely

And i accept that, matter fact i respect that
I told you to stand up for yourself and helped you grow, U can't neglect that

But when your fam ask what happened, do you tell them all the truth,
tell me what words did you really use to reflect that?

Tell me what words did you use to help you think that
What you said was how u felt cuz if u think back

Just one day before, we walked out by the shore all in love but i guess you didnt sink that

I guess you pick and choose what you want to marinate
But thank god, cuz this really could have been a later date
We were three years deep in and i let it sink in
That with you i could never see my heart break

But that broken heart and shade that you threw was never worth it

And im not playing innocent, i threw shade, i got my word in

But that really does nothing
So can we please stop the bluffin
Cuz the both of us knows we dont deserve it

The both of us cant really bare the burning
The hate in us cant stand to feel us hurting

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

I want something other than ****
with the short shorts showing
everything
the low-cut crop top
exploring eyes wander over
on countless evenings
my imagination having nothing
left

I want smokey flannel
a two-day-old pony tail
boots stained by the dirt and grass
a hole in your jeans
that wasn't there when you found them

I want hungover-fastfood-drive-throughs
with my shorts and your tank top
wrinkled from your floor
your hair still wet from the morning shower

I want leggings, a t-shirt
and a backwards ball cap
while we sing loudly out the open window
tapping the dashboard off-beat
hand raised fingers pointing at the moon
laughing at the man that sits watching us drive