now i can write when no emotion holds me hostage
when straying eyes were meant to know and observe
when poetry was meant to be judged and reflected

now i can write

i prefer to wear a cloak and compose rather than
have a spotlight shined upon to eminate my bubbbly perfections waiting to pop any second and soap all over the crowd
cleaning up their act

now i can be free

go ahead this platform was not meant for your approval
it was meant for my sanity and expression
a firework ready to burst strontium and copper compounds igniting the sky
you red this and it blue you away
i am gun powder ready to ignite
aluminum dust and graphite
let your eyes be the concepts which admire the show with awe regardles of the colours you admire
a specatacle of all sky lit maps
railway maps burst into the night time
let your eyes view

but your eyes will never
never
never be
the dampening act upon which my fuse is dimmed and struggling to ignite

you know that feeling when your insides ****,
when gastric juice is old and the bleach is just as acidic
i got a reef knot in my stomach
every thread touched just makes it choke a bit more
every lace pulled
every yarn stretched
cystic fibrosis is in my stomach
i have swallowed the pacific ocean
and the yellow you see in the water is not the sun
but the bleach which the wind tugs
bleach which erodes every emotion
sodium hypoclorite which devours and channels its way through
in my bleach filled intestines

heart born with freedom
blood flow through my ventricles late i supercede them
like a hailmary through my bool stream
blitz my arteries with cholesterol teams

face planted
cheek slanted
girlfriend panted
and my ******* neighbours ranted

how come when i go too numb
face hit **** floor
i got overthrown by a concrete ***
back in the alley with stuck up confetti messes of chewing gum
until i become so numb
until my heart sore

heart died with freedom
**** these ventricles i no longer need to redeem em

i do not empty my wallet this day or dive into my bank account
because the time i spend with you is priceless
i do not buy you roses or chocolates as a gesture of my affection
because you will understand that when you are blanketed in my arms

i cry because i cannot see you do to unlikely circumstances
the verdict says go downtown and find another to release your masculine desires upon
but i desire none other than you

tonight you are the one who holds my heart...you are also the one cutting off its circulation
but with every pulse you are not aware of
just know nothing can beat this feeling
and only one of us can feel this beat

to pierce the sky and write away from home
to nudge the earth where the moonlight shone
to love your entity and to crack a skull
to shed my soul like feathers of seagulls
where i am know
i am known
but at this moment i cannot be known
for it is shedding
and i am wailing in silence
my life is a hole excavated by violence

leave me alone on this island to rot
for the sand through your feet will not be forgot
for i am sieved through the mesh of your foot
as crystals come and silica goes
i will always remain from your memories to your toes

look at her gazing through the peep hole.

walk steps back

see a welcome mat pixelate

you're welcome; the end of conversations

.

burn every memory you ever had

destroy that china shimmering spectral coloured plate

leave behind every piece of her you ever loved

dismantle every city cruising wheel of that condescending
heart cauterizing, metropolitan based misedmeanor

how to leave so you can arrive somewhere new
so i never have to bare your kindness, your malice, yourself again.

be free of the pain which was
never meant to be delivered.

nail my coffin shut with corroding roses of a valentine pink rust
compress the woodboards until i comprehend that oak and fine birch are the smell of suffocation
crunch me into a cube as an awaiting student crushes his returned test with more errors on it than a 1950s military map of a recently constructed city

cuff me up in this coffin

I've been living in it ever since this office cubical has been my slowly disintegrating temple of economical sustainability

temptation the salivation....steaks running wild in our imagination
not the child from the third world country they dreams of rice and clean water, suffering from stomach inflammation
no more hesitation
regrets never earn commemoration, but persevere via faulty dedication

don't hesitate just act.....because then the outcome will be exact, that's a fact we remember in countless situational drafts

there is the draft of the cold breeze, she quivers at her knees as i whisper warm air into her ear canal, she smiles due to a warming sensation which intrigues
ear canal turned into an air tunnel resembling the structure of a funnel that we take for granted
my words produce air currents
harsh winds torment us as hurricanes wreaking havoc on all life and sound structures
gentle breezes persuade us to befriend the outdoors and our surroundings
initiate relief and relaxation
breezes accumulate into strong winds escalating into hurricanes
be careful not to let a breeze take hold of you; for we never know where the wind truly goes

i dare not to unleash a tempest upon my tranquil waters because i know i will be it's final victim

maybe one day i'll have them
but until then **** it

**** them all :)

shove my **** in her
so deep it comes out of her mouth
is that a new tongue?
these days i taste for her

pull her hair in ******* rough, i realign her spine
i got you by your leash and in this dog park
we can play fetch with ***** all day

kiss her so gently my lips struggle to leave
suction cups formed by our lips
no squid but i'll spill my ink all over her mouth later

find me in a sea swimming
i'll swim with you but never get too close
don't want to be a dependency
i'm diving down head first in the deep end of your sea

(applause)

the butterfly's wing
sing's too me like a seldom symphonic melody
my ears are always listening
for the sweet archaic remedy

as it brushes on my cheek and
circulates my chrysanthemum
all pollen has been found
all pollen has been brawling

sweeet aromas vaporize
gas flash points
and i'd flash to you in an instant
blinded by your beauty
the sun is reflected
your presence detected

in your graceful butterfly wings

wipe my underwear rag
**** stain
fall in the dog's **** product
**** stain
listen to bono from U2 in my ears there is a
**** stain
stick my **** in her *** to fast
**** stain
that baby stunk up the car again
**** stain
my name on the attendance record
**** stain
too many tacos with hot sauce consumed
**** catastrophe

cap pulled off this one also roams around my head
skull bare brains
dreams of a neurologist shattered
the root of my knowledge castrated i'm better off
as fortified as a stable fine thread
paint these walls a shimmering laminate of crimson
the crime on me an ode to a death wish
but yet wished upon by others
from james and taylor and christie with love
so pull that cap slowly to my head
'fitted' one size fits all
what a beautiful sight as that flash seduces me
50 shades of grey matter

pain numbed
enchanting melodies hummed
rudimentary snares drummed
to the essence of which my ear drums fund

crackle tackle and hit the snare
animal skin (synthetic) to which the chemical hunter dared
take the long isle of steel caliber
skin tarnished
blood glistened
bullet varnished

beg your pardon
ripped apart like the tender egg shell carton
for when my finger triggered that trigger
it triggered an offset in me
a lack of principle sympathy

the warfare javelin which struck the wind
a screech of F#
a melody left my ear drums thinned

and for all who know
this is what i fear the most
no more mr. nice guy
he's stuck in comatose

sometimes all we get is a faded memory of the person and the words we never got to say
an imperfect circle left open for air to enter and leave
words which never were promoted but rather concealed by replies
i'm reporting you,
this is harassment
neglect is a form of harassment too
unfortunately this one is left silent and unseen by others
an addiction which was never satisfied
come on the dragon is right there
arms reach but my arms never reach far enough
blind sided
demons are overrated
i call them motivating factors

mid life random sins
nourishing grins passed on by wire strung tins
kindle blasphemy and spindle fibre monstrosities
for you for you
we have split divinity into
the depth, the crevice, the unexplored catacomb
for you for you
i have split divinity in two

why did god make schizophrenics so ******* beautiful
maybe i'm the schizophrenic
seeing love that wasn't there in the first place

circles my brain all day
it is the planets to my solar system's sun
every statement ends with a question mark
I JUST LOVED PLAYING SOCCER?
talking in voices
which others categorize as filtered out noises
left me to be shunned in the corner
yet i sit in the middle of the room
moronically genius ideas i have
yet my stupidity helps me laugh at all my flaws
except the flaw of being stupid

happy :o

i don't admire the world anymore
i'd rather see no faces beyond closed doors

if everyone would sleep on a rope laced necklace i think i may be happy

i do not see friends in this glass marble upon which i live anymore
i do not seem many who care but rather just aquire and regress to their own cavern

so many heads turned
but not many ears who listened

people diagnosed with vague perceptions
but yet no one was there to percieve

HOW DARE
fiction off of folk lore

HOW DARE
it is arson to deprive someone from their well being
but it is irrefutably criminal to deprive someones time from their livleihood
time is not in your will

even the most beautiful of eyes may turn to distant shadows
forcefields unspoken when the serpents devour you on proximity

******* a joke

and if i made an error , possible,  i should make ammends for such
i will
the biggest error may be denial of your own error and shame on you
**** everyone

when respect is negligible i question how you will overcome anything in life
all you do is run..

when everything slips through the pores
when the crevices are not suffocated from the atmosphere
when the cast becomes a river and the river turns into a lake
when you see everything flow up and away from you
from a cardinals flight path
although your ship is not meant to sail on these waters
land a hoy! it is just a pit stop in the journey
your dreams and aspirations are liquid epoxy
and you just lost the whole batch to a unsealed
mold

i wake up to the sounds of the birds chirping
the tractor groaning
the winds supporting the endless street alleys
the sensation of waving grass
dogs barking as the conductor
and a friend voicing get the **** up already

There is a hole in me where my heart once laid
Happiness seems as much a mirage as a casino inviting you in to win
She seems distant but so close perhaps only in my thoughts
It does not feel any better
This metal device peering out of my chest
It hurts
But I’m filling the hole
I’m filling the hole
And this knife in my chest should be evidence ….no?
But besides the waterfalls of iron retained blood riddening it’s self out of my chest
Why do I still feel so empty?

Because when she was everything you ever loved
Without her a part of me is always missing

spread wings as the sun's

a sulfur tinted spotlight caught by the anatomical heat sync aliased as  a pair of spread wings

-- i emit the rays for a potential son to the mistress who spreads her legs just as wide--
  
a monday routine built in relation to a 0  → π sin wave echoing an arch of its own

stained glass portraits seen through the amplified projection of a wing shaped lens

-- reminders of stained glass cathedrals , dipping a bit of vibrant light into our monocoloured lives.
a place where religions aggregate from legions --
  
an exhibit exhibited

but really when was the last time you were watching

arrow stricken heart ache
nails chiseled until a bare base

hair ridden until all my roots fake

for you i dig i dig
i dug this
hole which took me whole

i don't have a heart

just a place where you once stayed


led a bit astray
plot twist like a shakespearean play

for this hole of love is too deep
and the sun's beams barealy shine
it's been a long time since i've had a good night's sleep
in this slumbering hollow of mine

i'm a ******* monument
ready to be tipped off a loading dock in to a havoc filled ocean or razor shard milk cartons

cracks a crystal
watch it shatter
watch junkies spree as their whole
lifre is fractured

what a  routine mess unravel
like projectile batter

on the 99th step the fracture of a sturdy ladder

i am so hurt
strangled in my sorrows
from every angle
eyes shut a redevelopment in my bone marrow
until i cannot breathe
i have left no more stamina
breath exhaled
bones crumbled to ivory dust
i lay with a soul now empty
the grease remain scraped up with a  spatula
just know i will always love you plenty

what good are wings to a butterfly which cannot emerge from its cocoon
what good are radios to someone who is incapable of hearing
what good is sunlight to a plant which lacks chloroplasts
what good is chocolate to a mouth infested with cavities
what good is empathy to a serial killer
what good is $5 to a millionaire
what good is a brick to a foundation made of wood
what good is a blocked number

the wings are an embellishment
the radios are silent frequencies
the sunlight is a spotlight
the chocolate is a reminder
empathy is the cure
$5 is a charitable cause
the brick is furnishment
it is a reason to move on

what good is negativity
it is a reason to promote positivity

it's been a while
i feel like the mildly growing mold over grout between the old ceramic tiles
Slowly
sLowly
slOwly
sloWly
slowLy
slowlY
slowly all the molecules compile forming molecular sieves
established in a matrix as complex as keanu reeves
the grief, placed by the thief, who longed relief, while he took all his treasures from that broken down coffee shop and placed them by the reef,
what they didn't know was in the basement lied a fortune that was a generations worth of priceless treasures
and i sat and watched from the shore line
no reports
no incident claims
no shedded spotlights
i merely out grew the incident from my memory,
as mold out grew grout between a forgotten coffee shops fermenting ceramic tiles

to pour some 'erb diffusive tea
let it mellow in my cup
let the leaf take whole
where it leaves a hole
for this cup of sorrow is best enjoyed alone
with no company
just a settlement between
me
myself
and
chai

you are a beautiful butterfly
but you are kept on display in a case
stamped down, encased, preserved
only to see light when the fascinating fingered pages are opened
of your family characterizing novel

you are a butterfly
i am an arachnid
a slik dress i have woven for you
shaped for you
enlarged for you
for you to fly in to my dressed web
as i spin you round as your ballerina persona dictates
to clothe you
to bundle you
to dress you
as i prepare to eat away at your butterfly insides

days come when my eyesight simmers and i go all googly
eyed upon your presence
- dropped jaw left a mark in that concrete -

your presence is your greatest present

as the sun dismounts its self from the sky
Just as an ornament debranches from the tree upon boxing day

you are mi corazon
the fusion reactions which support the sun
the uv rays which nurture plants
the roses i pick for you upon the brightest moon
the sweet summer dance i shared upon you in the month of june

you are the most fond melody
only justice woulb be brought when played by a symphony


you are my heat waves and i am your
cool summer drink
lemonade
get on your knees
like lemons fall from lemon trees
like bass notes drop on a timpani
i'm about to lemonade in your mouth babe

hahahah

i look down and try to feel the beat of where my heart should be
but all i feel is a cavity watiting to be filled and a vegetable of an *****
surviving to beat
survival of the fittest
but the heart don't seem to fit

i play guitar because it expresses what i cant
it's second nature and i love it
the notes are words and i just choose the words to phrase my sentence
it cries in high pitches and growls in the bass
my strings don't break but communication barriers do.
i like being technical because it's a unique appeal
it has variety

freely flowing across the sea of processed refined
bark
flimsy, takes the shape of breezes just as my
ball point breezes across this cotton gestured framework
line
margin
indent
paper dented
skull shattered
fragments spewed like a precracked glass stencil
your body laid out
and i'm not loving it but
something had to be done

simon cowell you just rant at others
for attention and the mentions
unravel your critiques on their dreams of stardom just make them realize
just make them realize..

the start are right there ...
just on the other end of that lovely black hole
dare to enter?

simon cowell
with your silverfox hair tinted
how much do you demand the light operator to keep the spotlight subtly grazing your hair fix
britains got talent
and you got the hair do that overwhelms crowds

simon says
but we don't want to listen
simon cowell
simon
hands cloaking an astonished appearance of awe
you do tell us how it is
and we will choose to make it how you want it to be

good guy

who's got that knife scavenging the tourist attractions of my insides
such a pretty sight
let me and my friends join in
ohhhh a nice slimey liver i can make that thing swell up
just a overblown balloon waiting to be pinned
STAB
ahhh such a new addition, a river fabricated
flow my lovely , in to the depths which hades invites me so willingly
that pancreas looks mighty fine
let me touch it up
STAB
ohhh yaa now you look beautiful
just a sight for the masses
hurry get a peek while the attraction lasts hahaha
rarer than an eclipse
the one my uninformed volunteer sees is permanent
spLENDid
MarvElous
deLIGHTful

what it is like to pick a flower
a nourishing azalea exotically scouted in the temperate air
allow your pollen to drip over me because
honey you drive me mad

what is it like to whisper you nonchalant name
allow my vowels to amble their way into your RSVP'd
listeners lounge
aromas fill the air
your name is my lyrical content
to sing and leave you content
your voice heard through every continent
you're always the most indulged content
avec toi, je suis contente

what is it like to pick a flower
and give you a smile
as this temperate azalea is spotlighted under you

so much anger that words should ignite as they are typed

no wonder my CPU was overheating hahahah

at least this helps cool me down a tad

sit back
pull out my pack of 24 lung burners
light it up, enough chemicals to outdo the periodic table 50 times
the amount of cells i've killed are life crimes
leather jacket /pierced
got tattoos until i feel the ink drip down my sleeve
leave a puddle of resin, blue aquatic disbelieve
take a stride flick it all into the ashes
post dramatic stress disorder
overplayed every departure from separate classes

bring me the horizon where
a vivid orange heat wave vibes into my iris
i'm more after you than the IRS
taxes should be applicable on you for looking so fiiine girl

****
she got an ***
suppress her sass
a contributing class

shiiit
she got a smile that
lit up my eyes like a flashing turnstile

hooolly
she got some eyes
that turn more heads than held in a booming enterprise

girrl
you got it all
even though your **** are small
and every time i look at you i remember what it's
like to be in a little piece of angelic heaven

i will always love you

dear love from florida where your sun's rays shine like a beacon

mist me with your endearing smile to whom i eyes i peak in

a gentle dove for you may spread your wings

a melody to enchant you i may always sing

wings upon i fly
to you
with your warmth i will always try
both sides congruently true

why am i filled with so much anger?
why am i wasting away my life
**** everyone
bend them over and make em feel like i do
i call it tough love
alcohol never solved anything except someone's temporary stall

hopefully you die sometime soon
because i feel dead after each stare given
and each time ignored

hopefully you cry sometime soon
like i did when i'm kicked out
and a few words too share is too much to ask at 10 pm

hopefully you're defenses drop
you are a forgotten prop
this key to your emotions unlocked
the last time grew my ***** dropped

no devotion for your emotion

help me understand
sit me on that chair and pierce my ******* with your metallic stinging clamps
bite down until my holes are seen
rip them off blood and an under layer of my bleeding red muscles
hooks pierce my eye lids sideways
scars growing as land splits into two
skull cracked and etched
beat me with your baseball bat home run

to hold up a cinderella cloaked daisy
to tenderly sense its petals sandwhiched by your fingers
to watch it die in a undernourished watering vase
rain has not fallen here since sinatra's excusrsions to a gleamish, ruby light toned flapper club
as a flapper holds her poise , you hold the stem of this daisy
your grasp it only to suffocate its xylem, collapse its walls as a canyon has boulders barricade it's river, it's desideratum
watch the petals wear a dress of frailness
watch them lose their sheen
watch them circulate ailments
let them rest in a place deprivingly serene

to **** a daisy
watch its yellow sun centre
die
your pupils dilate
as you manically squeal with mouth shut joy
to **** a daisy
you can always just pick another one
and make it your scapegoat of a toy

why can't you come back and share fun

to love and to kiss you on your delicate cloud felt lips
to sway to a winehouse ballroom and to guide your daring hips
to have you by my side and wait until our eyes collide
becuase you my angel will always be my day and my heartfelt guide

to paint and to sing
to rinse away my sorrows
to love you and your name on my tongue i may borrow
to rest in a slumber withheld in a hollow
brush strokes paint an image that i may love
brush strokes paint an image that may take me whole
and with every stroke i see you more clearly
with every oil bristled river i may cherish you more dearly
to a miss who may paint a picture
to my love and her brush strokes
this canvas will always be open to you and your every quote.

To u line your back
To use your hair as the guide to my chariot
Bend you over raw
Form a deeper connection
Use my hand as a guide on your sleek glass skin
Here you moan
Here you sing
Here you preform an opera
With me as a balcony viewer
To kiss your curtain calling skin
Grip you whole
Be your puppeteer as you my marionette
SubMISSive
Make you dance make you forget it all but always recall
make you love and laugh
The show must come to an end but we are both so eager for the next one to begin

i have nothing left to write
some feelings are better left in than constantly expressed
especially when our ****** gesture is expressionless
my pencil is broken and i'm not chopping down trees for any more
hoorah