So many people focus on finding love
I'm too busy finding myself

You read my poetry
But you don't see through to me
See how I feel
See me

I'm drowning in waves
This pool full of hate
This lake of despair
This hateful air and wares that I cannot hear
My ears underwater
Everything is muffled

Say my name
One more time
The way you used to
When we were fine
The good days are gone
You want nothing more from me
But I wish you would just Say My Name
One more time

You were a dream
That was never meant to come true
And yet you did

You were a goddess in my eyes
Forbidden from Earth
And yet here you are

Causing me pain
Heartbreak
Watching the rain fall
With every drop I become weak

the average cost of a funeral is
$8,515

death is unaffordable for me

put me in  big oblong cardboard box

2 feet by 3 feet by 6 feet

packing list enclosed

fragile (not really)
      please handle with care

keep upright

       or

supine

send me to the
grande vide

postage due

I am one of the shadows
growing in the dark
surviving off the grunge.

Rot and decay visits
me often, like two old
friends we have coffee
and tea every morning.

I reflect on the
coming weeks as today
fades away.

As I awaken dawn comes
walking through my door
as if invited.

I would rather live in the
sunshine cruising on
the beach barefoot in
a cotton gown that reachs
my ankles.

The sunshine likes to
bite me leaving red bruises
upon my skin. I still go walking
even though it leaves marks
and possible scares.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton