Where do I want my hands,
These detached brainteasers.

Inside my closet?
Or under my desk?

I don't know why I thought you'd care,
You don't make an effort to try and help me up off the ground,
Keeping your head inside your own inflicted heart,
Creatures sing in tongues around your head.

Describe yourself to me,
Maybe I'll understand tomorrow,
You don't know my brain,
So why do you even try?

Stretching for an answer from me,
Focusing on the words but never the lines in the middle,
What a shame that I might be failing, but don't you see I'm also falling?

Describe yourself to me,
Hush my selfish words,
Pretending to know my brain,
When you've never checked inside.

The left-over warmth from the burning fire,
Embers settle into the charred earth,
In the tender decay of the dying hearth,
They say that I'll soon begin to tire,
But I tell 'em that I'm just getting started.

Until I need to crumble,
I'll stay in your prefrontal,
Until I get into trouble,
I'll let the thunder rumble.

I need a peek,
A sneaking glance into the future,
To see what and who I become,
If I'm even alive at that point,
Now I have to admit that I know I'll be seeing darkness.

Yet I still retain a fraction of hope,
That my mind,
That my efforts will prove worth it and I'll gain purpose,
Purpose to move forward without a thought of death and regret.

A kid like me,
Well why shouldn't I be hopeful?
I've got many years to live,
Many years to change,
The only problem is that the years are long,
Then the winters will follow and I'll descend,
And the fear of all the years,
How many years will I have to go before I stop that?

Yet I still retain a fraction of hope,
That my mind,
That my efforts will prove worth it and I'll gain purpose,
Purpose to move forward without a thought of death and regret.

The pressure on my chest,
Before I took the bow,
The final word conspires
Against a holy fire.

Can I breath again?
My lungs fill with fire,
This time is ever so dire.
Can I breath again?

Bodies piled in the corner of my closet,
Masks hang the row above my bed,
A faucet that always leaks, hanging out of my eye.

Can I breath again?
My legs are crumbling under,
Cause I'm such a downer.
Can I breath again?

They never really told you why,
you could never see the guy who told it's all right.
And maybe you're just over thinking it,
or maybe they hated his guts and wanted him away.

Either way,
I miss his hugs and little fake smiles,
warmed my day and then some more.

Is there something I could have done,
to change the path of his life?
Is there something I could have said,
to make him stay?

He repeats, "It's not your fault"
I doubt.
I doubt,
that's ever been true.

I make myself a bed of bones,
cause I can't feel myself.
All I need is you by my side.

Do you have a problem with my love,
A little drop honey with a side of crush,
I'm the better boy but there's no need to rush,
We can take it slow and I'll keep it hush.

You hunt for sport,
I hunt for more,
You skin the poor,
I skin the court!

I know you won't mind if I eat your eyes,
Take you by the belt then hang you by your tie,
You're a clever guy but you really like to lie,
Tell me your safeword, scream it 'till you die!

You hunt for sport,
I hunt for more,
You skin the poor,
I skin the court!

Tell me what's on your mind,
I know you're quaking in your boots,
You wanna leave but I have a hold of your hand.

The sudden urge to hold you tight,
So sorry if I accidentally break your bones,
And if your moon turns to ash,
I'll be the one with the white torch.

We'll be okay,
Cause I have you and you have me,
We can be happy,
We can pretend everything is okay,
Nobody's talking crap,
Nobody's pushing us around.

Burn my bones and burn my skin,
Burn the holy cross at my feet,
Gather all the roses and purge me of my sin,
With thorns upon my ankles won't you save me now?
With every moment ticking,
I remember that I want to die and sing.
Burn my voice and burn my lungs,
Burn the holy dirt at my feet,
Gather all the thorns and place them on the throne,
With knives inside my head, I plead for mercy.
I don't believe.
Im sorry.
I just don't believe.
No matter how much I want to.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of blank pages,
and empty promises.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of burning trees,
and what we see.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of sudden changes,
and futures mangled.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Denying is proof,
and I won't take it back.

Make room,
Cause I'm hopping on,
The Amtrak,
Headed to wherever I may go.

Whether I'll be dead within two years,
Or maybe I'll be living mediocrely, boringly.
If dreams really came true then I'd be onstage,
Singing out the times I wanted to cry and die.

Make room,
Cause I'm not waiting for you,
My friends have all gone,
I don't know where they went but I'm doing just fine.

Maroon blood on bathroom floors,
Is all I can see at night,
Makes me wonder where I'll be alive, tomorrow.
Well, don't stop me now.

Make room,
Cause you're not part of this,
I've got things to see and things to do,
Don't control me,
Just make room.
Just make room.

Charismatic man in a velvet chair,
Drinking wine from people's heads,
A divine dine on smooth manipulation,
Raised his gun to your hearts and he's killed you all.

Birthed into abuse and grown into faith,
Singing songs of his own wraith,
Walked to the edge and threw the ring,
Deception into nightmares.

Eyes of charcoal grey,
You won't find anyone else like him,
Running his hands through a black dove's feathers,
He has no sympathy for your tears.

Take his eyes off of his face,
Blind to the world and it's beauty,
Covered in fake roses until he is laid in his deathbed,
He's not trying to lie to you, just convince you of stranger things.

Recite the line,
From under skys,
The light behind your eyes,
From which they will dine.

Recite the line,
Above the crowd,
Much too proud,
Dying inside the mine.

I don't believe I'll be making it far,
And my feet they will step in all of the tar,
That litters the unholy ground below,
I do believe that my body has been found,
Under the middle midnight stairs,
I am a suicidal case.

Don't you forget me,
Don't you leave me be,
Don't you let go of me,
Cause I have Galaxy Vision.

The sun won't rise in the deepness of my eyes,
So the galaxy replaces your silhouette,
Then I can remember that you were here,
To grab the harpoon and write your name,
And to forge a note of confession just for you.

Don't you forget me,
Don't you leave me be,
Don't you let go of me,
Cause I have Galaxy Vision.

Oh, the shadows, they scream,
Repeating little simple lines every night,
Of how they can foretell,
That you will never care,
I am only a burden that rests upon your shoulder.

Don't you forget that I am here,
Don't you leave me alone,
Don't let go of my hands,
Cause I have the stars aligned for tonight.

The concussion of my life,
The timeline so out of order,
Beating me across the head,
The confession so out of place,
And I’m scared what they may see,
If I say anything to someone.

Hello, little stuffed animals,
And elusive little illusions,
The day wasn’t so great,
Could I get it all out to you?
Though you say nothing-
I’m feeling somewhat better.

Shadows in the corners of my eyes,
Encourage things so inevitably strange,
I’m so inevitably strange,
And I can’t wrap my head around my own complex emotions,
I’m trying my best but I’m getting so ******,
Once again I turn,
Back to the plushies on my bed.

Hello, little stuffed animals,
And elusive little illusions,
The day wasn’t so great,
Could I get it all out to you?
Though you say nothing-
I’m feeling somewhat better.

Let’s find a place to park
Just after dark,
And into the night,
We’ll describe our plight.
These streetlights pass me by,
But the time tells us hope is high.

What’s quieter than the breathing,
Is it the graveyard’s heart beating,
Is it the headlights on the pavement,
Or the promises that are spelled ‘patient’?

This is my time
my life is flashing before my eyes
I've realized this is the end
And I will kiss all of them goodbye

The voices never left my head
My breakfast consists of pills and death
death of my own unique self
And I will kiss all of them goodbye

Could I ever pull the plug
I'm to much of a coward
Don't have to spell it out
And I will kiss all of them goodbye

It reeks of boredom
The four walls I've caged myself into
And the demon I nurtured
Is coming life
And I will kiss all of them goodbye

Frost forming window panes in little grass blades,
Passing by I begin to cry,
It's certainly weak but I don't care,
At this point crying means everything to my life.

So I follow spring instead,
When winter is on my tail,
Like a fox to a rabbit,
I could die,
I could very well die.

Jumping off my freezing metal bike,
I let my eyes get coated in a snowy glaze,
Allowing myself to lay in the frosty earth,
Sipping on melted snow,
Wake me up before December begins.

So I follow spring instead,
When winter is on my tail,
Like a fox to a rabbit,
I could die,
I could very well die.

I’m just a product
Of all the trauma,
You raised me this way,
Carry some blame,
Cause I’m holding the shame.

Messy rooms,
Unmade beds,
Dry showers,
Crusted plates.

I’m just romanticized,
You can fix me, I’ll be a prize,
And you’ll hug me and love me,
Till the next time I die.

Messy rooms,
Unmade beds,
Dry showers,
Crusted plates.

I can’t see my floor, anymore,
My room is becoming my tomb,
Just wait I’ll be out soon,
And you’ll see my rat’s nest,
Of disgrace and unrest.

An icy chill fills the room
Memories will start to fade
I'm with Pandora's box
Should I leave or should I grieve?

Memories will start to fade
I'm panicking now, as usual
Judging me for what and not who I am
It's choking my heart

I'm panicking now, as usual
My chest convulses I cannot breathe
It's choking my heart
Starts with an A ends with a whY?

I've given up on my selfish ambitions,
Promises turned upside down and emptied out,
So my conscious is falling again,
Into my skin, I will fight for the right to stay alive.

Here in the dark I will park,
My cab and pray that it will not get blown away,
I let the engine run as I continue my search for more,
The cab then begins its journey as it suddenly contrives,
Through lightless tunnels and pouring rain on the shores,
It stops in front of a light and I’m blinded by the sheen,
I suddenly find that I am scared of what I’ve been searching for,
I figure out that I cannot take the wheel so I backpedal into the trunk,
I feel the cab start to move and I’m terrified for my life,
I peek out of the crack and see the back of a man’s head,
He claims his life depends on me so he’s helping me drive away the light that blinded my own space,
His hands are not even there and I know that he lied,
But I sit inside the trunk and plead towards the morning sun,
The cab finds it in itself to stop by the riverside,
Ignoring the man up front,
I follow the steps in the sand,
I turn around to say, “I’m walking towards the morning sun to find if my doom is washed away and all I did was completely undid.”
So I leave him in the cab as he cries out for my hand,
But I’ve found what I’ve been searching for and I don’t need his say.

The kitchen sink calls away
Can you understand?
The curtains have gone gray
Can you understand?
Furniture ebbing into the stray
Can you understand?
A tipped over ashtray
Can you hear me?
Leading the dog astray
Can you hear the sirens?
The radio is gone, don't betray
Can you hear the reaper
knocking on my door?

What's the end like?
Does it hold me in a tender embrace,
Or does it break my bones with haste?
Do I fall into a dark abyss in peace,
Or does it cresend into a scene of rigorous hate.

I don't think I care.

Craft your words so they’re divine,
Pull the wool over their eyes,
Call into the dark and find,
The world has left you behind

Afraid of what they’d all think,
Cause you’re closing in on the brink,
Afraid to call yourself the missing link,
As you empty out into a sink.

So unimpressed but incessant,
Never wrong so you just rant,
On and on about the incant,
A hypocrite who hates to recant.

There's a fable that's unstable,
Lay the pages on the table,
You will see the peeling label,
The Bible’s righteous playbill.

a genius machine.
through the time,
nobody saw you,
tell me are you okay?

waste my time, please.
I need you to be by my side,
even if you think you're a burden,
don't tell anybody that I died.

when I'm in my 20's,
tell me that you still care,
even if you're thousands of miles away.
i'll say it back if it's okay with you.

I outpour
Never will I soar
Only from the core
Then they check through my drawers

Next they rewire
So i'd admire
every second of my own desire

Lastly, I hear the ricochets
through my own airway

I cannot speak
As they call me a freak
Life is looking bleak

Bang Bang?

My little bundle of joy,
My sweet baby girl,
My loving little pup,
I can't bear to see you get taken away,
Please don't let them,
Take you away.

The word of one person,
Could remove you from my life,
I know you won't understand,
I know you will be okay.

My little bundle of joy,
Your brown eyes and eager little paws haunt my mind,
Don't go,
You've given me something to go outside for,
I care that you are inside too much,
I want you to see everything there is.

My little bundle of joy,
My sweet baby girl,
My loving little pup,
I can't bear to see you get taken away,
Please don't let them,
Take you away.

I'm confronting myself at 5:30 A.M.,
Haven't slept a wink but I have to start my day soon,
Bordering anger I look at myself in the pouring rain,
I'll ask myself, "Where have you gone, why aren't you helping me?"

I watch myself sit down, myself won't speak and I can't control him.
He doesn't want to stand anymore and his hands are shaking.
His emotions are out the door, no more.

His eyes flash violent urges,
When the night unfurls it’s grasp,
I can see he want to tell me all the things,
But he can’t find the words so I look to his hands and they’re gone, he wants to scream but he can’t so he leaves his head on the floor.

I watch myself sit down, myself won't speak and I can't control him.
He doesn't want to stand anymore and his hands are shaking.
His emotions are out the door, no more.

When my head is empty and there’s nowhere I can hide.
Look at what I’ve done to you.
I’m sorry about my mistakes,
Just know that I have exposed myself.

Tell me pretty lies about how you feel,
Maybe I’ll feel better another day

Tell me pretty lies about what you think,
Maybe I’ll stop puking another day

I know I’ve done something bad,
I know our lives are on the line,
And it’s all my fault but she won’t see the forest for the trees.

Tell me pretty lies and punch me in the face,
I’ll say I love you and wake another day.

Tell me pretty lies and feed me common slurs,
I’ll just leave my heart at the door for another time.

I am kept alive by the growing vines,
They tell me what to do and what to say,
If I were to be honest, they don't do it very well,
But that's alright cause I'm getting on just fine.

Leaves embed themselves in my skin,
Unforgiving to my pleads,
I won't die, not here not now.

Throw myself onto my knees,
Grip the ground and try to get away,
The vines restrict me from moving anywhere,
I wanna be something, I wanna be someone.

Leaves embed themselves in my skin,
Unforgiving to my pleads,
I won't die, not here not now.

They begin to cover my mouth,
I can't breath or even begin to think,
I keep thinking that it's over but I don't wanna go.

Stare down the one-lane road,
Inside a thick forest,
The black pavement is uncracked,
Unless I step forward,
The surface becomes broken and foggy,
Occasionally, a car will pass somewhere across the mountainside.

The forest lining the road sings songs,
Songs that remind me of things that nobody knows about,
To thick for me to leave the road,
That's okay, I'm getting there.

Coming clean,
Running my blood down the sand,
It'll filter through the cracks until it reaches my corpse,
The corpse of mine will be revived,
Coming clean as they wanted me.

I won't be gone,
I won't be gone,
I won't be gone,
I won't be gone.

Coming clean,
A new father reaches through the veil,
Setting fire to my bones,
Lighting my passion ablaze,
He runs the blood back through my veins,
Casting a new spirit to life,
Coming clean, is that what that means?

I won't be gone,
I won't be gone,
I won't be gone,
I won't be gone.

Coming clean,
I'm just a son,
Who's scared to try,
Scared to see beyond his own irises,
Shake me down and rid me of these vices,
Coming clean, as I lay in the blood-laced sand.

I won't be gone,
Tell the father I'm sorry,
Tell Him I'm sorry,
I won't be gone.

Six fingers, six toes,
Three eyes, no ears,
Tonight, we'll fly,
From here, to Clear.

Under my tongue,
Growing thorns,
Too many teeth,
Poking my sores.

I can't believe,
You're with me,
I'm bewildered,
Stay with me.

Captured lights steaks of these cars,
Post them up all over the highway chain-link,
Asking 'Which one of these blurry angels would save me now?'
But I know, if they love me as much as they love themselves,
Tell Lucifer I’m on my way.

A night in the forest has been due for some time,
All those internal urges to scream and cry,
The times I wanted to dig a hold and die,
So I can tell you that a night in the woods would do me good.

A night in the woods would give me closure,
I don't have to feel the emotions that run down my spine,
Finding a shovel would be impossible in the ebony night,
This I why I say that a night in the forest is required.

But even a night in the woods would tear me down,
My eyes cannot see what is in front of me,
In the darkness of the forest I could fall into one of those holes,
Maybe a night in the forest isn't worth it.