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 Jun 2019 A Simillacrum
Zywa
In the open field, there is more to see
than you like, poo and pimples

nothing private, trust no good
for anything, shame everywhere

because it's not a secret
in which you deviate, what you eat

which fears and diseases you suffer
how you wash and experience ***, when

you *******, have a miscarriage, cry
quarrel, are greedy, mean and unreasonable

or sweet, everything that is wrong with you:
someone who can be missed very well

or needs to learn a lesson – for mercy
there are mirror places for that
Collection “Mosaicvirus”
 Jun 2019 A Simillacrum
Elena
changing profile picture
being on instagram
not texting me
forget me
me being paranoid that you don’t love me
body hating
you hate me
forget me
I’m stupid
i’m scared
i’m sorry
forget me.
seeing you be on every social platform but not being able to respond
am i being lied too
does he really feel how he says
i’m stupid
i’m sorry
i’m not okay
please
forget me
 Jun 2019 A Simillacrum
Ruhani
Back
 Jun 2019 A Simillacrum
Ruhani
For a moment
I took a leap into the real world
to make connections
feeling affection
but soon enough
felt afloat
on superficial sea of emotions
I ran back to find solace
in the erratic lines
of poetry.
Neither life is straight
nor my poems
but at least I can see
my true reflections
in the poetic aberrations.
I missed writing for a while.
he couldn’t give you it
threw you out the door
without a second thought
said you were too much

he was afraid
afraid that you would misbehave
you asked for
one last chance
but you knew before you asked
the answer wouldn’t be yes

So, you plucked off your smile
threw it in his wastebasket
and stomped all your dreams
on his back doormat

took
one last glance
at his deck
with the chairs neatly arranged
as his thoughts
while you, the scatterbrain
walked to your car

one last time
stopped
to look at the number 50
that hung on his house
before you drove off
late May, “sheltering in place,”
the perfection of the day, a descendant
of thousands of years of predecessors,
the elements in concert, expert-wise in the ways
of coordination of sky, wind and ocean caressing
to make poems come so easy, just breeze pluck ‘em

but this heart lies heavy in the noisy stillness,
for one intercept repeats itself,
all ready already, wrote of that, many times prior,
all the parimutuel betting/writing combinations
user exhausted, each one shouting, too late,
you wrote that in such and such a place, in a time,
vague recalled under a name since forgotten

eyes are the poem title generator random,
but all asterisked, seen that, done that,
wrote that, passages that are passengers
trying to hop aboard without paying,
the fare is no fair, and the style gone quaint,
no one wants to read the regurgitated,
my rapacious pen^^^ has stolen them back anyway

my pen now, flat on desk, good only for grocery & scratching off
my countless to-write, to-do lists,
but poem writing conspicuously absent,
this my last until, my corneas transplanted, my heart-ticking
to the beat of someone else’s drumming, but, no wisdom confession,
not what I expected from my retiring “freedom days”

did my share, and periodically one of you reminds me,
of the oldies, and the semi-smile that whispers across my drying lips
says did I write that, see the place + time denoted,
saying yes, here is proof of the when and where, and hints even
of the why, but the whys and wherefores, all crossed off,
the run is over, was a good one, but this time pride will not go
before the fall, for here it is springtime and the spring in the step,
does not launch more than an inch, ground bound, and when,
you no longer can soar, it’s time to say no more

and my old friends come to sing me to rest,
Joni reminds me I have no river to skate away on,^
my feet can no longer fly, lyrics like old honey, stuck no pouring,
Bobby closes my shop, with a young man’s prophecy,
knowing it is the hour that my ship has come in...
and though my moment is in this second, perfection, thinking,
peace to you all, remembering that peace is an unceasing changeling,
my piece is spoken, been trying to leave but this is it,
“it’s all over now baby blue”^^



“Oh, the time will come up
When the winds will stop
And the breeze will cease to be breathin'
Like the stillness in the wind
Before the hurricane begins
The hour that the ship comes in”^^

Shelter Island
Memorial Day Weekend 2019
when i’m in my bed
at night
lay my head down
cut the light
i hear oh every sound so loud
like thoughts of things that i once vowed
i hear the TV making noise
low self esteem of girls and boys
i hear my neighbors listening
to music i could never sing
i hear the frogs down at the lake
the calming noises that they make
those noisy nights keep me awake
please fall asleep, give me a break
break down
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