After you left
                         I moved to a bigger house
as if I needed more space for my thoughts of you
as if I had the strength to
remember you

I measured the size of each room
and touched every corner
                of that tremendous place
                trying to guess how many moments
                how many of our early mornings
                                                       in embrace
                                                       it would take
                      to repel the shadows of emptiness
                      to turn the color and shade of my contempt

I opened each window
and closed my eyes, shutting out the
                wailing of a so tired heart
                holding the silence
                                              in all its weight

I am an
emotional
      archeologist
digging d
                 e
                        e
                                p
into the contours
of the heart
trying to discern
what spots
need tender healing,
how to treat and
soothe its
fissured parts
I am a soul-mind
                   excavator
discerning
temperature and hue
measuring the depths
of textures
as we get down
to the root
We work hard,
my team and I
mapping earthen layers
we use the implements
                     of wisdom
to try and heal
this pain acute
and as we gently
cut through the strata
of history, of scars
I know that this
         explorer's work
is worth it
for we will reach up
to the stars
So we continue on
in patience,
into the
blazing core
      like truth-warriors
like healers
      unlocking secret
ancient treasures
that will rise up
to the
fore

My heart's not what it used to be
My heart feels something strange
Something goes and makes it flutter
Not necessarily in a good way

My heart is like a little kid
My heart likes to play around
Something goes and makes it skip and jump
Not a game I like to feel

My heart doesn't like me much
My heart throws temper tantrums
Something goes and makes it close on me
Not very nice to know

But my heart is my heart
It might be a little unwell
But it is mine
And I think I'm getting used to it

I'm afraid of the way you can sway my emotions.

How can I build restricted area signals on my heart,
when you so easily tear down the walls against you?

I'm afraid of you.

You've entered into me without my permission.
Yet somehow, I allow you to stay.

Everytime it begins to rain my mind •floods• with the thought of you
•       •  •
•     •
    •
•
      •

She is situated by the window with her eyes fixed on the empty night
"When did this happen?"
"You're asking the wrong question."
She inhaled all the despaired air, and it becomes her.
"Shut your eyes. What do you see?"
"Darkness."
He does not recognise her, and neither does she.
"Is this who you are now?"
"Maybe."