You thank me,
6 months too late, but still early in my eyes
and I want to thank you,
for that.

My heart broke 700 times

I'm glad you found your closure
It feels like it opened a cavity in my chest
A billowing hole ******* the air
From out of my lungs and
Away from my brain
Away from the sanity I've created
Where I thought I felt secure
But instead the infrastructure was so weak
That the simple memories you mentioned
Left a mark on me yet again
As my heavy heart weighs me to my bed
And I wish so desperately to be alone
I feel as though I'm dying
I must accept reality as it is
I know that all too well
That's why I agreed to meet
To see you
To see me
To see us
Now
We're different than we once were
And while I understand how and why
My soul mourns the moment
And I know I should just live it fully
Because so soon it'll pass
And once again
We'll be strangers on the street
One heart armored with reinforced steel
The other a sloppy mess of
Broken shards and what ifs
Rotting until it turns to ash
And new flowers bloom from its death

We write about love,
like it is here, like it is whispering to us.
When most, who write about love,
are writing love,
instead of,
loss,
hurt,
and anger.

I’m less reckless than I once was
I love this messy house
My couch is broken
But it still reclines
I find at times my mood declines &
I write
Blood on the walls from last night's fist fight
God bless my opposition Jesus knows they need him
Don’t think I’m being conceited
Truth is I hate me more than you ever could, believe this  -
Clueless people complain I make them nervous
But I can't explain how much it hurts to know you're worthless
Still I try &
Write
My life is a casket I purchased from Costco  (cheap)
I laugh out loud til my sides hurt and also
fall asleep on backroads - alone at the wheel
just to feel something other then sorry

they say hearts see ten times past vision
I’ve always felt sheltered by my glasses
troubled at letting go of things in front of me
managing to carry boulders when I weigh feathers

longing for the answer of not breaking at the stem
pleading to split down the middle
always dealt the smaller end

I will forever be a third of myself
if I count every step I took backwards

cars passing by as lines of light
and I know my direction is north
the hands around my waist
seem to spin me around clockwise
life having its middles
and I am reminded of my favorite novel’s end

I walked towards him like a withered rose
how am I looking in the mirror and blooming

Please God
Don't make me prove I can live without her
I'm tired of plot twists
Of separation and reconvening

I couldn't make sense
Out of losing her
This love is immune to lies

I don't ask myself where life will take me
Anymore

I just want to know if she'll be there.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

the sunset is bleeding into the room
all the secrets from within
will make themselves known
when the winter breeze comes
and takes you away