Shaundarel L Brown: Favorites

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

Shay

I am BPD.
I am the demon that possesses your mind,
I am the ghost of all you want to leave behind.
I am the monster that will make you unstable,
The voice in your head making you suicidal.
I am your heart making your emotions intense,
I am your mind, muddled and making no sense.
I am your brain making you neurotic,
With the perfect balance of a handful of psychotic.
I am your self-esteem making you feel worthless,
I will make sure you feel that you have no purpose.
I am your impulsiveness making you act reckless;
Your need to harm yourself is becoming endless.
I am your soul feeling neglected,
You feel it very deeply because you need to be protected.
I am your extreme paranoia,
Making you live in a shell, I’m a merciless destroyer.
I am your fear of rejection, you will outburst at the slightest disaffection.
So, I am BPD and I will ruin your life,
I will cover you in scars made by the blade of a knife.

#depression #illness #sadness #depressed #mental #bpd #mentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

bpd

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

luna love

bpd

i am sinking
further into the darkened depths that is my mind

my heart,
my lungs,
my mind,
collapse

i try shake this illness that
holds my existence captive,
a prisoner in my own mind

i long for the days where my breaths were sighs
of relief,
of happiness

i ache for the moments where
life was not a gloomy mess.
where the sun seeped in through the window
and everything felt okay

will i ever feel whole again?
will i ever rid of this disease?

god help me find a cure

#depression #disorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mental-illness

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

BPD

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

Georgia Owen

BPD

"Right here," [points at heart] "you're dead."
"And right here," [points at head] "you're twisted."
Borderline personality disorder.
A curse.
I am alone, empty, freezing, starving, withering.
I am sorry.
Always sorry.
Sorry to so many.
I am doomed.
I am alone.
I am twisted.
I am desperate.

#borderline

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

BPD

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

E Lynch

BPD

I am quick to cry and to anger
and people think I'm strange.
They don't see how hard I try to control it,
I know I'm seen as deranged.

Emotions can be overbearing
and it's difficult to stay quiet
when someone upsets me
It's simply not easy to hide it.

I guessed for a long time that the issue was with me.
But I thought I could watch maybe learn their technique.
For keeping a cool head when things get heated.
Instead of losing it over nothing and feeling totally defeated.

I was wrong it turned out.
I don't have breaks I have border as in
borderline personality disorder.

I got a diagnosis
and was incredibly afraid
that people would treat me like someone
who'd contracted the plague.
While I wasn't right,
I wasn't totally wrong,
mental illness is unfortunately
still mostly ignored.

If I was unwell with a headache,
people would ask
'Are you okay?'
'Here I've got Panadol Actifast.'
But when the ills
In the mind and I say
'I'm feeling down'
9 times out of 10 people get freaked out.

So it's tough when you're shamed
For having a disorder
A lot of normal people suffer
So could your son or daughter.
So next time you hear someone say
'I'm feeling down.'
Do me one favour
and please,
just don't freak out.

It's hard enough already dealing
with this day to day
without having friends
turn their backs and walk away.

#depression #illness #sadness #disorder #mental #down #personality #upset #borderline

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

Risk (BPD)

Oct 10 Shaundarel L Brown

Jacquelyn Audrey Whiston

Risk (BPD)

That's what it's about
With BPD
The risks you take
And stupidity

The anxiety,
And unwelcome mentality
That's what it's about
With BPD

Three shots of whiskey
And a glass of wine
Throw back a couple pills
I'm sure I'll be fine.

That's what it's about
With BPD
The risks, stupidity,
And anxiety.

Oct 8 Shaundarel L Brown

Roses

Oct 8 Shaundarel L Brown

KV

Roses

there are roses growing
from my hands
My doubt the seeds
Begging them to grow

There are roses climbing
up my arms
digging in my skin
but i am numb
to their thorns and beauty

There are roses growing
in my lungs
bloodied petals
filling my throat
and falling from my lips

Tears are sliding
down my cheeks
I've had enough
I am to weak

#tears #petals #roses

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