Electrical Ghosts.
I'm glad that you
didn't have to fade
out of life
on support.
I feel sorry,
for all the new technologic ghosts.
Electrically wired into a circuit board of uncertainty and doubt.
That represent you in a series of
up
down,
up,
down,
down lines
that pace about
the pixilated to pharmaceutical perfection,
screened monitor
above your hospitol bed.

Siting quietly at the

crowded station.  

Waiting for

this feeling

to stop racing like

a train.

On the tracks of my strung out heart.

I'm trying to forget your name.

Just let me get my drink on

and

I

should

be good on that.

Colder than January's breathe,

the silence of our empty room

has made me bitter.

January's Breathe.  I'm cold cause you left my heart open.

Burning bridges,
so my make shift
bat-wings
can start flying
up and the ****
out of hell.
All the way across
the river
to the better side.
yeah, everyone's go some ****
to say.
Everyone is
full of it too.
You either need
a fistful of laxatives
or a fist in your face.
Talk ****,
get electrocuted.
The Lord,
works in mysterious ways.

Bandit
is just the body-bag
of a soul that
was left behind
at
the train station.
**** out of luck.

Walking on the path to
bitterness.
Faded.
Jaded.
Perfectly posing
positivity.
With exceptional posture.

Because crying in public
is like throwing yourself
into the
lion's den.

I'm safer
at the
half-way-dead-house.

I can dream there.
Some-day that's a nice thought.

Psychic Vampires.
I'm just a social leech
after everything
I can **** on.
No pun intended.
Even vegetarians,
crave blood
every now and then.
Got a glass?
I got fangs,
we could really make something out of this.
You know,
I'm only pale cause I work midnights.
I won't sparkle in the sun,
unless the diamonds in my nose rings do.
Black on black
everything must be black.
I always look like I'm going to a funeral,
but I'm just an agent of death.
Not a paulbearer.
I'm not the anti Christ,
he hasn't even been born yet.
So calm yo'self,
or I'll have my
Daddy buy your soul.
& you can come play
with all the fire in
our back yard ;)
So shut your bibles up
and open up your minds.

When you are
sitting in an empty room,
waiting for a call,
that you know is
never gunna come.

When you're  
sick of having
to hurt yourself
just to feel anything at all.

When you are literally,
a butterfly-heart
staring into a spider's eyes.
Caught in the web of
a mess much larger than
your deepest fears.
Remember, **** gets better.

Sorry you're a worn out bigot.
I Guess I'll see you when I'm six feet under
or six states South.
We can pretend we're family then
=] .


There are two things I will never comprehend.

1. Why people have to have a bewildered reaction upon finding out someone in their life is gay.
Gay people exist and we're not urban legends.

2. Why people feel the need to call gay guys *******, we know what we are. If you're going to make a quick jab at me, tell me something I don't already know. *******.

Ignorance, fear, hatred and differences are what's ******* up the world.

You can say that everything is fine and that it's just a phase I'm in or even on a larger scale you can say that the blatantly ignored ******* hatred doesn't exist.

** Excuses don't explain anything. I know you have trouble sleeping at night, if I was evil, I would have the same problem.


I use to write for my high school newspaper, but after one year, I got kicked off for writing editorials like this.

Taken from my daily journal in my senior year.
The first part is in Forget me not, even in my final days.


January 1st: The new year will bring many failures and many triumphs. The level of these battles is unknown
January 2nd: I will shed my skin and be free of all my worries.
January 3rd: The warmth of the sun is your distant touch.
January 4th: To rid yourself of the evil people who poison your mind with their sharp words and snake like tongues.
January 5th: I am not God. I am sorry, I can not save you.
January 6th: She was the ocean on a calm summer's night. The tides which were her thoughts came to her slowly, but never failed to come.
January 7th: I am only worried when you're around me.
January 8th: My life sentence is almost over.
January 9Th: To my loved ones,
I am what you want me to be
When you want to be sad
I will be
When you want me to be mad
I will be
I will only be lonely
If you leave me
January 10th: You can not get to me if I am sleeping.
January 11th: To anyone who has ever hurt me,
Thank you for helping me become the man I am today.
Thank you for every feeling
Every tear
And every scar
You gave me.
January 12th: We are all complex animals, nothing more and nothing less.

Bitter sweet,
headlines.

Filtered, censored,
cloaked in, invisible lies.

To keep our eyes,
blind.
Unaware of everything that's
crumbling,
beneath our minimum-wag,e
slave feet.

Systematically, we're made
to fall down
on our knees in defeat.

To **** the ****
of a hard ego.

& The beast, he's always near.
Hiding behind the faces of his diplomats.

Politicians are just criminals, who bought their way out of prison.

January 28th:
I don't eat the Doctor's candy anymore cause mama Earth's candy tastes better,
I'm not wasting my time being suicidal, I'm going to die someday anyways.
Everyday is a different trip. Life is just a drug.
January 29th:
FAIL.
January 30th:
Detox day one.
January 31st:
Day two went really well.

The feeling of quiting:

Is kind of like an internal bomb,
detonating & destroying
everything in its path.
&
When the fire finally dies and your covered in ash.
All you can do is wait for the rain to wash away the past & rebuild.
Congratulations, you've reached a good state of mind.

Welcome to Mania. I hope you enjoy your stay.

My phone's got no service
in this christian meets crazy.
Westboro baptist church.
When the negative sermon
is over.

I bet, I will
have
6 missed calls.
6 new voice mails.
&
6 texts
all from the
Lovely Lucy.
Looks like hell is
trying to get at me.
Someone wants my soul.
Maybe,
I'm going to be famous or somethin'.
Rapture Raptors.
I will be fed to the
feeding flames of infamy.

The anti-christ super-star auditions are at 3 a.m.
It's, 2 hours away!
I'm 7 years away.
Hope I make it to exit 27.
If not exit 40 works fine too.

My blood
runs ***
&
my body breaks up
like ****.

Eat me.
Drink me.
Smoke me.
**** me.

I'm way too high to write good poetry.
But I'll keep trying.

Trading in my
used, old day dreams.
At the
dream crusher's junk yard.

I think.
I am just ready to start over.

& So the crawling caterpillar
crawled back into his cocoon.

To sit-sulk-suffer.

Until he grew, big enough to break the walls
risen before him.
And exit his self-perfecting prison.
One wing at a time.

Stab my back,
watch me bleed
lightening and scream "revenge".

I see myself as something.....
Greater than myself.
By the power invested in me,
I declare myself, god.

If you call for her,
she will always come
to greet you with a
haunting hello.
She can ****
your newly bought
full strength camera batteries
with one beyond the grave blow.
Her touch is like death
and Lucy is doing
a lil' tap dance on
her right shoulder.

She just wants you to stay out of the cemetery.
Stay out of her cemetery.
Out of her way.

Well, I don't need no injections.
I take my meds on time.
I don't need no injections.
I haven't done no crime.

I'm just a little moody.
And that's okay with me.
I don't need no injections.
******* and let me be.

You're a real
****.
Let's just
straighten
you out.

Grab a
hammer
and pound
some sense
into your
hollow-wood-head.  

No,
I'm not giving you any.

Go ****, yourself.

Life's like
a
twelve step program
of **** eating.

Then you get to wash
it all down
with punch
&  then you,
die.

Love is just a pigment
of a colour
we can never get in our hair.
No matter how many times we try
dying it.

You should have just gotten the abortion.
Wudda made this a whole lot easier.

High Times In Harvey Taylor!
Part II: Westways.

Westboro
can get on their
knees
and
**** my
over the rainbow,
spectacular,
sensational,
slender
****.
Cause
I'm fresh out of ***** to give.
I lost
em' all,
when
you left me on the
side of the 59.
Talk ****,
get electricuted.
My friends
fight for me
in
mean, magical,
and
ultra violent
ways.
God doesn't hate gay people,
he hates idiots
who mess up
the message
with
mental, mindless
metaphors.
&
hate made excuses.
Preach it.
Like it.
Infect it.
Spread your legs & open up your <3's.

Secret sorrows
and my tears
were hiding beneath
dollar-store sunglasses.

When you went down,
underground.
Or
Somewhere,
anywhere, but here.

Just as long as you made it
to round two.
Just as long as this isn't it.

Whatever helps me sleep at night.

If
all the beautiful beads
met
the rest of the fantastic feathers
and formed a love cult.
Eternally sewing themselves together
into one
big ***,
passionate
&
powerful
love web.
Finally.
We would
have a chance
to catch.
The
big, bad and evil
black widow.

Just in time to
save the
all the
hurting
butterfly-hearts.

Spread your wings & fly.
You're beautiful. I know it.

The crucifixion of my heart.
At the hands of the Cinderella complex.
An empire in which I do not have a home.
Unwelcome and unwanted.
My Prince Charming,
is nothing more than a nice thought.

And I swore,
I'd never
fall
in
love
again.

And,
I kept my part of the deal.

Fell all the way
down to my knees,
in hell.
Following through.

Only to forcefully give up
66 hand jobs.
To 6 different beasts.

Look, who's burning now?

Your spark.
Lit me like a match.
Left me to burn
like a witch on a stick.

I'm very well-done.

Oh. High, I'm Bandit.

******* is the only thing getting shoved down our throats.
I'd rather have some viccoden. Please.
You don't need a masters degree,
to lie like a professional.
Just let your words slither off your
tongue
like a snake in the grass.
Constrict the situation.
Boa constrictors can teach you anything.
I swear on your god.

It goes.
Death, decay, destruction.
The fire will always destroy everything. So burn like a ******* match & make **** better.

Until then.
Dream-dream—dream
harder than your
hardest
hard-on.  
Then Ride it all the way to reality.
Or drink punch & die trying.
At least you, tried.
If not this time, there’s always next time.

Remember.
Create, Destroy, Rebuild.
Caterpillar, Cocoon, Butterfly.
Circular, Cynical, Cycle.

When they say you're
crazy.
Do they even know what they are saying?

To be insane is to literally be in the mindset of insanity.
You know yourself better than any Doctor,
Boss,
or and other
Higher up
that get's high
from bringing you down.

Here's a new word for y'all.

Unsane: (verb/noun/adjective)
Opposite of insanity.
Opposite of being insane.
Opposite of what they're trying to trick
you into thinking you are.

They're the insane ones,
we're just unsane.

High Times In Harvey Taylor.
Part III: Slutty Dancing.
I'm
speed-ball
racing
at
85 mph
on a
55 mph road.
Drive to survive.
Getting down,
with the radio,
dancing like a *****,
rocking my ****
hotter than
a
***** stamp.
Putting on a
show,
for all the ghosts passing by.
during my
head rush hour.
Time
predicts
Nothing good
for me except for
the chance to
get into
a head on
crash crush collision.
Sirens, lights, noises & Pigs.
Maybe they'll take me home
for a **** slumber party?
I always try to see the best in people.
If I have no luck looking,
I just pretend I'm blind.

If my pen
wasn't ******'
her paper, daily.

I'm sure, I'd be
wearing a *******
jacket too.

Writer's block,
will be the death
of me.

I swear,
this in several tongues.
Like the Serpents, before me.

I'd rather have a hand count of friends.
Than a pocket-full of enemies.

Strength in numbers?
Oh my
fine, sweet ***
no.

They can  
keep hatin'.
I have strength in myself.
No, need to count.
I got this.

Imma pack full flavored infamy.

So Put this
Crystal,
in your
pain-stained crack pipe
& shmoke it.

Until your wee, little brain
rots right out of
your hallowed out head.

These days,
talking to you is like
screaming.
Under water

No matter how loud
I am,
the waters will always drown out
my pleas.
To the ears that need to hear them.

I think I'm cracking under the pressure

May 16th: You learn by doing.

If I keep following by your example,
I'll be a ghost soon too.
I want to meet angels.
My memory claims to be subjective
But I'm calling its bluff.
My hand has cards in high places.
Hot boxing joints and chugging forties,
Trying to forget my questions,
Cause the answers were nothing but a let down.  
You're still up in the sky
but soon enough you'll come free falling
back to hell with a headache and a hang over.

May 17th:
I'm tripping *****
cause life is nothing but a good trip.
When you think,
think with your mind.
Your brain will always have two sides.
KEEP YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT.

May 18th:
I'm avoided like the plague
cause I spread like disease.

Sin is subjective, keep your opinions to yourself.

High Times In Harvey Taylor!
Part VI: 1-(800) B-i-t-c-h-i-n-g.

Modern medicine magic.
My ***.
I'm dialing the 1-(800) number and *******
up a hurricane,
that's kin to Katrina.
Until the Doctors give me a refund.
Cause his solution,
to his pretend problem
with my brain.
Only made it worse.

We create ourselves,
our lives,
our everything.
We build our homes,
our families, our whatevers.
A make-shift cure for lonliness.
A lil' love hut.
With an open
heart and an open door.
One day you'll
hear a,
knock-knock-knocking
on your door.

& When you open it.
The Bad News Bears
will come in and
break you down until there is
nothing,
even in
your own mind's house.

Right before your very,
bright light blue sky tear-drop colored eyes.
The real-life-dream will end. & You'll wake up.

Until then, sweet dreams. <3

My visions of future nightmares;
staring the ones I hold closest
to my beating heart.

Leave me paralyzed with the fear.
Of tragedies, yet to happen.
Things people shouldn't know
but somehow I've managed,
to be thrown in the medium.

It's like someone or something,
is trying to show me uncharted territory.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But sometimes we've been chosen by
forces greater than ourselves to serve a higher purpose.
Before we can even think of coming home.

Until,
the day,
some day comes.
I'm just going
to keep
break, break,
breaking
my heart.
So I
can replicate,
create,
& relate
you,
your
darkest dreams
and
even more
terrifying night terrors.
Welcome, to
The Love Cult.
Bandit is speaking for you.
So you don't have to.

I'm reading
between the lines.
So I can
have the knowledge
to overcome stupidity.
Negativity.
Biting my tongue.
Biding my time.
Paying lip service
to negative sermons,
served up
on a "free"
all you can eat
*******
buffet.

The ship was
getting
closer and closer
to us
&
the safe-sandy shores.

Safety.
Healthy
at
long lifetime's last.


Midnight was coming close,
so they
took our candles
&
they took our matches.
&
tried to start a fire.

It would have worked.
If the doctors,
would have
noticed that
they
lit the
wrong wick.

Wish they would have
quit,
pretending to be
god-all-mighty
know-it-all's.

For a hot minute
to look and see
the fuse
they
actually ignited.

Ch-ch-chain
reaction.
In a real-life
action movie like
Implosion.

Explosion.
Decaying.
Dying.
Crawling.

I am
Sinking.
Our ship is sinking.

A break down
happened in the <3
of the ship's
circuit board.



This is how
drowning at the bottom
of a
Sad Sea
feels like.

Seeing parts of your life
blended in with the debris.

Hello, to the aftermath
of an
"accidental" explosion.
Created by a
self-detonating
toxic/atomic
bomb.

It
Broke the ****-Star-Board.
It
Broke my *******-<3
as well.

But even though,
I am ship-less
and stranded.

The ship still has four anchors above water.
Even though, the ship itself
is underneath the water.

When good people die they become Angels.
When bad people die they become Demons.
The Devil made me slit my wrists,
so when I'm on my way out.
I'll make sure to
slit
his
throat.
Are you going to do the same,
or are you going to keep
cutting?

The world
is full
of *****.
**** fight them
right back
with
your concealed confidence weapons.
There is a difference
between
being
Cocky & Confident.
Know it, live it, spread it.
Cause we're all beautiful
just no one ever says it
& Every now and then we need reassurance.
<3
You're beautiful & I love you.

Fairy wing's
are
Karma's
curse,
for the
crooked-twins-on the left.

O'
the
dark-side
of the womb.

I had a twin Sister.
Until
she ate all of our food.
So I ,
I ate her.
Instead.

But she got the last laugh.
I got the curse
&
she got a martyrs
v.i.p
pass up to heaven.

Who's the bigger fish now?

February 2nd: Dire was my day, every move I made was seen as a mistake.Malice my good intentions, I’ve been labeled as a hurtful, evil, and ugly man. Believed to be a demon, from the pits of hell; I am feared by all and eluded like a disease.
        
February 3rd: My time is spent in isolation. Never desiccated are the tears that endlessly flow down my wrecked up face. My screaming is unheard. Nothing is heard in this room, I am alone.
        
February 4th: Blood encrusts my massacred body, a true painting of affliction. I have run out of tears. Crying is now a more complex process, involving the bitter sweet touch of a blade.
        
February 5th: Exile is slowly beginning to **** me. The hands of time have firmly grabbed my neck and with each passing hour its grip grows stronger.

Inherited family curses.
Selling my soul,
away to
earn entrance into the womb.

Months of sleepless nights.
For my Mother as she tossed & turned
in agonizing pain.

All for her little Demon.

Done crawled out
6 days late and backwards.

Vomiting tar,
screaming curses.

Some mistakes are better left
unspoken, unseen and unheard.

I was born
under a starless sky.

Darkness is all,
I know.

Until I can
spread my decayed,
skeleton wings
&
descend down.

To the City of Fire.

I will be all black,
nothing more.

Death.
Sorrow.
&
Despair.  

Oh Father,
would be proud.

Life exists!
On the other side
Of the drive-thru window.

If you can
look both ways,
before
you cross
the border.

You could
just be a
Bandit,
racing along
the highway to hell.

Diving a pick-up
truck
with black
angel wings
painted on
the back.
Windows.

To Trend-Set.
Just Jet.

Set.

Yourself,
up
with the sun
&
incinerate.
/
Re-Create
yourself.
Out of the ashes,
you once called your own.

A place where
you can feel
safe in your own skin.
If all the under-dogs
got together
we'd still be a pack of little dogs.
But we'd be
the same size
as the
guys
that took us to the kennels
anyways.
Jail break,
let;s get our
freedom back.

Passion.
Love.
& everything else that makes a
goth
gag.

True love is something you'd die for.
Cuz
True love out lives life.

I want to be in love not lust.
Guess I better drink punch
& die.
Or I can have 7 marriages.
and die half way through my 8th.


So to who ever has some tropical punch,
This *****
be
thirsty.

Just show no fear.

Never cry.
Never love
Never die.

Liars live lies
for ever.

Yellow eyed wolves
with
sharp-pearly whites.

Are lusting after you.

But they just want to ,
paint their teeth.

With your,
blood-red-dead.

Sheepy

sheep

sheople

carcass.....

You've got one wing
out the cocoon.
You're halfway there.

One day.
Some day.
It
will
happen.

Even if
you're,
not ready
prepared
or expecting it to.

When the other wing
follows
the first
& you're
no longer,
a crawling
caterpillar,
on the
cracked out,
crooked
cement-circle.

You must.
Spread your wings
and fly off
the
very top
of your
heightened
fears.

To the arms
of an old,
dusty dream.

Waiting in line,
getting high
off
of the
anticipation
or um
precipitation.
To participate
in washing
away,
all of
the impurities
created by
yesterday's
mistakes.
Deep, dark,
the darkest shade of
black.
Change is *******,
very
soon.
the humidity
is Mother's way
of hinting at it.

A. terrible
T.oday.
M.akes for a
    tolerable.
    Tomorrow.

So fill,
your
hollow-heart;
up with anything
you can find.

Wake up,
take the pills.

Dumb-ing myself
down.
Because apparently
I "need" to chill
& numb the **** out.

I'm raising my
punch glass
and
screaming cheers
for
survival.

I'm just so-******'
numbing myself
over.

</3
Until
it's my
time
to shine.
in the
sun.
<3

It'll rise, soon enough.

Thinkers
think & ***** up.
Doers
do & sometimes make it work.
Just turn off your brain and
let your heart
do the thinking.
It's most likely in
the right house anyways.

Soul Spit
Soul Script.
If worse comes to worse
at-least I have the ***** to find out.

Like you're only
driving me
around.

Until you
can
break my brake-line
at one hundred
butterfly heart-beats
a minute.

I know
You,
just
want to
speed me up
so fast that
I won't even be able
to survive,
when you
hit the brakes
so hot &
hard

Just to send me flying across
the
Lust Lane.

I need some band-aids.
My heart cracked on
the pavement
& now
my eyes can't stop leaking.

Love is the only high you can get without calling a dealer.
The dream, hope or feeling with the power to manifest itself into our reality.
When the time is right,
of course.
Requiring no effort.
Magic just happens.
Without any explanation.
One day you'll wake up alive again and you will get it.
**** just get's better, such as life.
Love is blind.
People are blind,
we just think we can see.
Gaze through the blind man's eyes and learn the art of recognition.
Recognize every purity and impurity.
Love always conquers lust.
Just sometimes, it's a close call.