It should have been a warning
when your plant died
after I had spoken to it.
My black heart seeped
into the soil and up the baby roots
until there was nothing left but decay.
Please be careful,
if you spend enough time with me
I'll do the same to you.
I really am
but more than that I want to break down at every second of the day and night
and the worst part is you aren't even capable of saying you're sorry
I'm angry when you mope around the house like this wasn't your fault
Like you didn't endanger every person that tried to get close to you
Like you haven't tried to blame everyone else around you before taking any responsibility for your actions
I want you to tell me the truth
To look into my eyes and tell me you never cared about any of us
I really am
It's easy to say
"bad things seem to follow me."
I've sang that song many times.
It's hard to acknowledge
what I may have done
to attract the bad things.
I can feel you.
Even with my head
turned as far as it
can possibly go,
I still feel you.
From across the aisle,
I feel your chest
like you're right
next to me.
I move my head to
meet your gaze and
I find your eyes
no shame in your
I can't help but notice the
ketchup smeared sloppily
down your face,
down your jacket
like blood, and now
I'm regretting the
little orange sundress
I put on this morning.
I have looked into the eyes of the Devil.
They looked back at me,
in the mirror above my
I really did care.
I wanted to squeeze you, to melt your skin into mine.
I pushed you away before you could ask me to let go.
Now you’re a stranger to me for the second time,
and I’m left feeling like the *******
It's a grey area
I might have wanted it at some point, but limp and helpless I just wanted it to stop.
I don't remember his face, but I remember his sweaty body on mine.
I wanted to leave but I couldn't move,
I couldn't speak.
He probably drank as much as I did.
I shouldn't have stopped to talk to a man I didn't know.
I wonder if he remembers me.