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I step towards the oxbow lake
Forget the noose, I will never wake
The life I’ve lived I hate so much
Why did god create me such?

Death will hurt and I know well
But no-one cares, there’s no-one to tell
The flies will eat my rotten soul
And I will count my deadly toll

I’ve killed too many, over time
I love to see them squirm and whine
But I must be punished for killing you
So I will die the same way too

So I apologise for my sad sins
And putting your body in the bin
But a horrible death will rid my hate
I am in a suicide state…
Perhaps you think not what you did
Nor of bad or good
Not of the shells that hit the ground
Nor the stands we stood

Perhaps you think not of the hearts
The ones that loved a marriage
Nor of the ones that didn't fit
Like a horse without it's carriage

Perhaps you think of blood lust people
As your killing henchman
Or maybe of the ones that died
Helping in the trenches

Perhaps you think is what we ask
Day in, day out, all day
Perhaps you think not what you did
Nor the price we paid
war is terrible
I am alive but not forever
The demons of destiny follow me
And fate beckons me
And my mortality

I am content but not forever
My mind set of invincibility
Makes my emotions churn
And my mortality

The clouds of death cross my head
And create a thunderstorm of health
And down it takes me
And my mortality
I'm standing
The winds of time swirl
Around my body
Soon to be a corpse
My cackle awakes me
And as I turn to face
Your hate
I'm grabbed
Put upon the stake
Tied with the human's weapon
And that's it...
And whilst the oak wood burns
I conjure my thoughts
Breathe in
And burn..............
 Mar 2015 AJ Mayfield
sav
I want you to hold my hand.
Hold my hand so tight that my bones break and every crack whispers how much you really need me. The space between my fingers should forget what it's like to be empty because you'll fix each and every crease. Light a fire in my palms and melt away any other touch other than your own.
I desire you.
I am something worth destroying. Can't you see that I would rather be a pile of broken floorboards and shattered glass than an abandoned house, having never been touched by you? Burn your name across my body and tattoo it onto my heart so I understand what it means to love with a passion.
I want to thank you.
You've made minutes feel like decades by holding me until my internal clock shattered and the only perception I had of time was the beating of your heart. You turned words I was too afraid to speak into currency and now I am a millionaire with nothing to show for it except your smile. You filled my eyes with stars and heart with assurance so when pieces of me died I still had something left to believe in. You never gave up on me when everyone else did.
 Jan 2015 AJ Mayfield
Ocean Blue
... My eyes,
To mirror your sighs,
I will give you my smile,
To dance with your smile,
I will give you my hands,
For you to paint the beauty
Of the fertile lands
In the hills of Tuscany.
I will give you my open arms
To surround your shoulders,
When you feel cold during the winters.
I will give you my soft kisses
To dry up your tears
On your pale cheeks
So I can chase your fears.
I will give you my memory,
For you to remember
Our forgotten kisses, if any.
I will tell you some of my secrets,
Even the ones from the Pool,
In case you show interest,
And there you would think I'm a fool.
And of course I will give you
My Ocean Blue,
For you to dive into.
But I will never give you
Anything that can hurt you.
Somehow,
You need to know
That I can only give all this
When you come back from the abyss
To which you've decided to depart,
Leaving me alone to dream of you,
With art.
 Jan 2015 AJ Mayfield
bones
Bleeding
 Jan 2015 AJ Mayfield
bones
We danced toward
each other's wounds

with gentle step
and touched inside

and now the bleeding
has resumed

and all this blood
is hard to hide.
I'll sing of all the ways I miss you
and how this sorrow came to be
the verses, lies I should have whispered
the chorus, truths in harmony.

The melody will break the silence
and call your broken heart to me
to be repaired by love unyielding
to broken hymns in minor key.
Depression lies and makes us push those we love most away, sometimes so far away that they can never return.
 Jan 2015 AJ Mayfield
bones
On the day
her body burned
she asked the
winds to be
her friends
and they
picked her
up and poured
her through
the fingers of
their hands
like a river
without ending
that won't
be tied or
bound, until
every trace of
dust embraced
the freedom it
had found.
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