i sometimes ask myself

how shall i remember you?

is there any specific way that would do justice to your

memory

the hole you left in me

the hole you took from me 
that i’m getting back ever day

or at least thats what i tell myself

but in all this chaotic

dramatic

problematic

bundle of memories

how shall i remember you?

i could remember you as my best friend in the world

because you were

but we both know 
that wasn’t the whole story

i could remember you as the person

who took the light out of their eyes 

because they thought i might be
afraid of the dark
*
because you did

i could remember you as the person who harassed me

made multiple accounts on social media to distract me

when i started to catch on

because you did

i could remember you as the person who once

offered to teach me how to cut

because you did

i could remember you as the person 
who was
always looking for a way to take the stars out of the sky

because you were

i could also remember you as the person 
who
thought you were entitled to my heart mind and soul

because you did

or i could remember you as my best friend

who shared their every thought with me

who only dreamed that i would succeed

because you did

*but thats not the full story