Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Mar 2021 Ren Sturgis
Eli
Sir
 Mar 2021 Ren Sturgis
Eli
Sir
There was
a time
I got called
"Sir"

And
unexpectedly so
I floated to
the top of
The World.

Why?

Why did that happen?

Don't say it.

The answer's
pricked me with
a sharp pin.

Everyone else
that knows
has poked at it.

But
I guess
this is what
you call
denial.

Euphoria comes.

But
I stuff it down.
Try to forget.

Then
I accuse myself
of not knowing
who I Am.

When really,
I'm afraid
of the answer.

Of what it means
and
being wrong

But
maybe I shouldn't
give a ****.

What if
this is
the thing
I need to do?

What if
this is
My Path
to being strong?
 Mar 2021 Ren Sturgis
Eli
Boy
 Mar 2021 Ren Sturgis
Eli
Boy
Am I
a boy?

or

Is my mind
a toy?
My realization of being trans came about a few days ago.  I affectively came out to myself in another poem I published here.  But, I'm still dealing with doubts and wondering whether or not I'm faking or if the answer I've stumbled across is wrong.
Nurture by nature
Her wings were once broken
How lovely it is to be able to fly
 Mar 2021 Ren Sturgis
Exosphere
I will want to kiss you
a lot
I hope you still have time for that
Locked in this glass jar
I stare at the stars
Replaying my past scars
Things that are so far
Rocking in this endless ocean
Always in motion
Sometimes I can't breathe
I can feel death creeping in
Playing its neverending violin
Where did this all begin?
Death plays its endless notes for me
Wishing to be free
As I stare at the endless sea
Death holds me by the hand
He is the only one who can understand
~28/3/21
 Sep 2020 Ren Sturgis
Wang Wei
With its three southern branches reaching the Chu border,
And its nine streams touching the gateway of Jing,
This river runs beyond heaven and earth,
Where the colour of mountains both is and is not.
The dwellings of men seem floating along
On ripples of the distant sky --
These beautiful days here in Xiangyang
Make drunken my old mountain heart!
 Sep 2020 Ren Sturgis
Wang Wei
A cold rain mingled with the river
at evening, when I entered Wu;
In the clear dawn I bid you farewell,
lonely as Ch'u Mountain.
My kinsfolk in Loyang,
should they ask about me,
Tell them: "My heart is a piece of ice
in a jade cup!"
The man of life upright, whose guiltless heart is free
From all dishonest deeds and thoughts of vanity:
The man whose silent days in harmless joys are spent,
Whom hopes cannot delude, nor fortune discontent;
That man needs neither towers nor armor for defense,
Nor secret vaults to fly from thunder's violence:
He only can behold with unaffrighted eyes
The horrors of the deep and terrors of the skies;
Thus scorning all the care that fate or fortune brings,
He makes the heaven his book, his wisdom heavenly things;
Good thoughts his only friends, his wealth a well-spent age,
The earth his sober inn and quiet pilgrimage.
Next page