You had
To go
Through
It all
So you
Could
Become
Who you are
Today

If time is healer
As they always say
Why does  it still hurt
After all these years

The loss of love
Is never replaced
No love is the same
From another’s face

Each love is different
None are the same
So the hurt from a lost love
Still feels fresh through all time

A straight line delivers the illusion of control – the delusion manifested order could ever be kept in tow,
                                                                      or manipulated reasoning
                                                              could ever take seed and grow
                                                           against the natural ebb and flow.  
If each our mind a garden, work to see it bloom
full of luscious fruit capable of sweetening even the dankest, darkest glooms.
            Savor that sweet, succulent juice as it drips from your lips and cascades
        down
             your
                  chin
To break from the mold, let go of control. To break from the mold, let go of control.

The door is there for the opening
You know we all hold the key
Pour out your thoughts on paper
Your on the road to poetry.

Your words at first may falter
Like a child's very first step
But the more that you keep writing
There will be words you'll never forget.

You know you will never regret this
It's the greatest therapy
And before you really know it
Your a writer of poetry.

There's a poet there in everyone
Thats what a poet said to me
So if you really whant to be one
Then you will master poetry.

Please hold onto me Nana,
Hold on as long as you can.

I know it must be hard to trust me,
Since you don’t know who I am.

I want to help you remember,
However I am afraid it’s gone too far.

But I remember everything for us both,
From pinched cheeks to trips in the car.

You taught me how to be strong,
But right now I am not.

In a wide world full of people,
You’re really all I’ve got.

It’s hard to comes with,
As physically there’s nothing wrong.

Nana, it’s your mind that’s left us,
I fear it won’t come along.

We’ve got so much left to do,
I have so much left to say.

I wish I could protect you from the fog,
But it’s impossible for this to go my way.

Death hasn’t taken your body Nana,
He has kidnapped your memories.

He is cruel and unjustified,
I promise he’s making some enemies.

Please hold onto me Nana,
Hold on as long as you can.

I will love you forever and always,
But time is never outran.

It has been years since
I forced myself for being optimistic.
I forced myself to believe
that my wounds are nothing
but little scratches.
I forced myself to believe
that time can heal all the wounds.

But recently, I then realized that
actually I'm fooling myself.
Because some wounds
can't be healed within time.
The scratches were so deep
and can't be healed by simple ajustment.

And it is not easy to move on
when people around me
are so happy to keep making the new wound
on the wounds that is not yet healed.

So, it is time for me to go for hiding,
living in my sanctuary,
not for running away,
but for letting my soul
completely heal in silence.

Because it is not good if I keep
fooling myself with the all lies of saying
"I'm (always) fine" and "I'm (always) okay",
when I'm actually not..

-Kanya Puspokusumo, 2018
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com