Since you lack what's called belief
Than become your own God
& better yourself for me

Cause now you're broken
& it’s easier for you to hide
But who has to clean this all up when you die

It's such an odd feeling;
When you start talking to someone new

The way that you exchange war stories;
To see who's "ex" left the deepest bruise.

Just to remember,
The time that you did that with them too.

Like,
I'm not really sure what's up from down.

I have felt this way before.

Then the darkness hits.
That's when life is almost like a mirage.
Like, is any of this real?
I specifically told myself that this isn't the way to deal.

With loneliness,
That's a feeling best described with the lights shut off.

Love was the Afterthought;
To my emotion &,
My madness.

///

Hate is why I cannot feel;
Yet the world just sees,
My empty glasses.


P. S.

May your freedom bring you both happiness
& joy.

Until the day we meet in Hell where I can play
You like a toy.

Take away my soul;
Leave me with my bones.

///

Make me what you need;
Before you drop me off at home.

Today while writing out words to break down & create anagrams that I could use in my writings. I realized that the anagram for "Secret Admirer" is "Dreams Reciter".

Crazy right?

The girl that I think about all day,
Practices my dreams at night?

If only I could tell you the words;
I'm afraid they're all ones I've never heard.

To bring you the sun & take all the rain.
To transition you to earth;
From my brain.

My Holy Ghost came
In the form of anxiety
In the night.

She said, “You’ve got to
Start moving until momentum
Gets you by.”

At first I began to question
Because; I guess that’s just
What I do.

Than I ran to look in a mirror
To see the person that
Gets me through.

ie, myself
Everyone leaves
When you’re stuck in the mud.

So I listened to my heart & started
Pushing; thanking an apparition
That I wasn’t where I was.

Sometimes; the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
& it took renovating
My mind to finally feel what that was like.

& now I’m flying &, I should be dead.