How often am I supposed to pray
To the full moon to see you again
Over and over I do the same thing
Trying so hard to let you in
What's left for me to learn
My tan turning into a sunburn
The clock is ticking for my last hours
I wish I could someday again call it ours

Written just now..

Softly placed on her skin
A message without words
A sunny place to be in
And I hope it's not You who's with her

I made my way to Wonderland
But without You I can't stay
I just hope it's not Your hand
So close on her hand to lay

I would abandon Wonderland
To once more feel Your touch
But You with her would be too much
I'm praying please don't let it be Your hand

It wasn't Your dogs, it wasn't Your voice, why should it be Your hand? Please don't let it be Your hand.

See her sitting there in the candle light
The golden shimmer makes her hair shine so bright
A blanket of linen, velvet and lace
Keeping her warm and the glow on her face

More like a mirage, a pale reflection
Of her inner thoughts and affections
Of a love more radiant than the candlelit room
And more lasting than the ageless old Moon

As she sits in her house on the hay covered floor
She wishes for a guitar and her man to play for
A song that's more beautiful than every diamond and pearl
A song from the heart of the last good girl

I wrote this just now in the candle light

I can't lose you because
Then the blood in my veins will stop to run

I feel weak right now
And my heart beats irregular maybe
My circulation is at its lowest
It has ever been

My God, you even affect my health
I long for a comfortable bed of pills

Once a piece of paper told me
You'll stay a very healthy person
And he made me accomplish that

But right now I feel like last year, only worse
Recovering from the shock, not sure how to pass the time
Ready but impatient
Amused when I told you it's supposed to be healthy
And you just rolled your eyes
Torn and jaded, when I walked the lonely avenue
In beautiful October
Only without the euphoria

It's more like acting
With a touch of Franny Glass
If you're so much better then them
Make use of it

Frail girl
Take care
Even your heart is fragile and rare
But it will beat on for all my eternity
For the one
Who needs it

Written just now.

I'm tired of this mess
I'm tired of this one mistake that chases me
I'm tired of the hide and seek
I'm tired of even seeing her name
All over again
I'm tired of seeing her face
I'm tired of reading about you
Instead of being with you

Tired but won't ever give up

I once ordered a cappuccino
When I was with you
Before knowing you would someday
Spoil the taste of it in retrospective
And before I knew
There are people who would be named after it
And now I know
There won't be no more coffee for me!

Or so I thought... :(

I'm not scared of you
I'm scared that someday you'll be gone
And I won't be able to live on

Maybe I was sleeping beauty
And you  finally made me see
Nothing but you, but that's enough

I know you never loved them
Hey and I just realized
You never ever lied to me

I'm thankful for all your faults
You showed me we're not perfect
But you're just perfect for me

I always talked to you in my thoughts
In situations enclosed
Trying to hear your answer beyond the distance

I was jealous of people who had what I wanted
But I know that no one will have you more than me
And I'm happy for people winning the lottery

Because having You is much better

Even if I'm not with you.

I just cried
For another long and lonely night
I just cried
For another unlived life
I just cried
Not because I'm sad
But because my love for you
Makes me go mad

Some days ago...

In a cold and lonely New Mexico night
On an old abandoned desert path
Rides a man, righteous and upright
And there never was but one of his kind

Yes, Billy's his name, he's a good looking lad
And July is his month and he sure is not dead
He got his sixgun and whoever jails him gets blown
He's a legend before he comes to town

He knows some wise advice
And he never leaves my side
In the coldest months, under the brightest sun
He didn't give up until he won

He stayed loyal and faithful
To his honorable heart
He was called a villain
But he was just Billy

And Billy he fought
Damn hard for his life
To be a tough guy was what he was taught
To be a good boy was what he strived

So all you "good" guys, beware of this man
With one shot he can establish justice again
He's not a criminal but he does take his revenge
And most of his murders were acts of self defense

So Billy, ride on and don't take a hit
For your enemies are all in for a dime
But they should keep in mind, we're partners in crime
And you don't mess with Billy the Kid

This is a poem for Billy the Kid. I've been into his story since January and somehow he has accompanied me in every situation since then. And I read up on his life recently and I must say according to what people told of him, he was just the guy I imagined him to be. In common stories he is mostly described really unfairly and did you know he never even robbed a bank? He didn't kill just for fun. Maybe I want to clear his image a bit. I believe he was a fun and really honest and righteous guy with many unloyal people around him and wrong circumstances to deal with. He grew up with his Mum dying when he was around 14 and abandoned by his step father, he always had to manage it on his own and I wish I had known him in person.
I would have loved to be his partner in crime... :)
Thank you Billy.

A lifetime friend of his once described him as follows: “We became staunch friends. I never enjoyed better company. He was humorous and told me many amusing stories. He always found a touch of humor in everything, being naturally full of fun and jollity. Though he was often serious in emergencies, his humor was often apparent even in such situations. His disposition was remarkably kind; he rarely thought of his own comfort first.”

The trees grow fruits
The doors, they open
And if they don't, you'll find the key
Right at your feet
And all the unlived truths
Will like a thread, many times woven
Unwind again and set you free

Written on a good day.
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