My Diamond

By this life I've been cut to pieces, they're all there on the floor
Thousands of jigsaw shaped pieces, I'm not easy to explore

Only one person could look and see what was really me
Now that he's past, what will I become to be

For I'm constantly walking in circles, getting lost in the dark
Instead of a loving hand, all there is, is a question mark

I feel myself slipping backwards, further down the hole
Slide past the diamonds formed by pressured coal

You promised to be my diamond the hardest of all rocks
But even diamonds crack, with the ticking of the clock

I'm so very lost now, even more than before
Because you'll never again walk through my door

Only you could look at the jigsaw, seeing the beautiful picture it was supposed to be
Only you ever had the love to see, all that made me......me

©Pauline Russell

My child you never need to say a word
Your prayers unsaid are loudly heard


The crickets cry out constantly your pain
Every morsel, every grain

The Barn owl screeches out all your fear
Be Still my child, I'm always Near

The coyotes nightly howl, echoes your remorse
It's OK my child you'll get back on course

Wolfs scream of the agony you've been through
I'm sorry child, but there's still more for you

The fireflies light shows me how dark your world has gotten
Don't fret my child your not forgotten

You may cry, scream and blame me too, my shoulders are broad
Or just be Still my child and know that I am God

Tears like rain, on her cheeks is found
They are always there, falling down

The sorrow is etched in lines on her face
Still she carries herself with beauty and grace

She's always there when someone is in need
Happy to help with every deed

Yet there she sits all alone
Not even a place to call her own

There's no hero for her to call
She feels like a little rag doll

Kicked to the side
A downward slide

cobwebs of memories are forming in her mind
Twisted and contorted she is now misaligned

She's coming undone, seams ripping apart
If only someone would give her their heart


©Pauline Russell

Let me lie my head upon your chest
Allow me to take a little rest
Wrap your arms around me tight
I'm weak and weary from the fight

In your arms
Finding the charms
Voices are calm
No sounding alarms

For just a moment, the world slips away
I found Heaven on this day
The soothing sound of your heart beat
Warmth and security, it's such a treat

Worries all gone
No clanging gong
With nothing wrong
Only the heartbeats song

In brief seconds, you let me believe
There's more to this world than what I see
The moment slides by way to fast
Your light is fading, shadows are cast

Time to go
I sink below
Seeds you sow
Demons still show

Can't wait till your in my presence  tomorrow
You chase away all demons and sorrow
The rest of my life I will remember your smile
Wonder if you'll know, you was my hero all the while

©Pauline Russell

Sorry I haven't written in a while
Sometimes I can't see through the darkness and the fire
Sometimes I can't see beyond the flood of tears
It happens more with growing years

Sometimes my paper flies astray
Sometimes I can't find my way
Have no fear, I'll emerge from the black
When I arise from the smoke, you'll know I'm back

©Pauline Russell

When it's my time to go
My spirt from my body will flow
It's off to the crematorium, I know

Don't hold on, just let me go
My ashes just let them flow
I'm no longer here, this you know

©Pauline Russell

When I die and go away
All I want is sweet decay
No Heavenly violins or strumming harp
All I want is pitch black dark
No streets of gold
My pain it could never hold
No pearly beautiful gates
Gates belong on cages and crates
So please my loving God, take me off your list
I just no longer want to exist

©Pauline Russell