I went down to the sandy bay
Just to watch the water sway
I chased the tiny ***** at play

Sitting on the sand to enjoy the view
***** closing in, quickly withdrew
Dimonds twinkling on a field of blue

Sea gulls screeching a hello
Eloquently they ride the winds flow
As off to the sea they go

The small waves start to dance
Sun and water have such a romance
Everythings perfect at first glance

To speak of this is quite taboo
Even in paradise things are askew
There in the waters deep deep blue

In the darkness or brightest place
Monsters of all kinds still give chase
They inhabit every single space

There's no heroes, they've all died
There's no need to wail or cry
No comforting that can be applied

There's no one left to intercede
Come and have a seat by me
We can witness the ocean bleed

We'll sit and watch the scene unfold
As they munch down soul after soul
We've all been bought, we've all been sold

©Pauline Russell

I'm done for the day
What else can I say
I no longer want to play
Emotions starting to sway
My mask flew away

Leave me alone
I just want to go home
There's nowhere to roam
I'm turning off my phone
Gonna Lie down tired bones

I'm done for the day
Thoughts in disarray
They never obey
It's a feeling of dismay
Being life's proverbial prey

©Pauline Russell

Just as things are coming together, it falls all apart
It starts in the mind, but ends with the  heart
At the end of the rainbow, what is found wasn't sought
When the beginning becomes the end, simply restart

©Pauline Russell

Don't you realize what you let go
What you let out your door stroll
Don't you know, another one you won't find
It was something amazingly strang, a one of a kind
You didn't object, you didn't give chase
From your mind will it be that easy to erase

When you gaze into the fire's dying embers
Will all those moments not be remembered
But I guess it didn't mean that much
Or tighter you would of clutched
With your actions you made it clear
You just watched it disappear

Was your vision so impaired
That you seen it like smoke in the air
Past love gone bad, it left you stolid
She left your heart frozen solid

Sadly my love you couldn't return
A strongly guarded  heart, only I got burned
But one harsh day you might see
You lost something uniquely special......me

©Pauline Russell

Spinning and whirling, of course it would stop
Right here at this God forsaken spot
That wheel of time never did like her
In good times that wheel couldn't spin faster
In bad times that wheel would be dragging an anchor
Grinding through loneliness, bad things did occur

It use to be when she was in this agonizing place
Floating there in outer space
Desperately wanting friends so bad
But in outer space there's none to be had
Night time in her darkened room, she let the agony go
With every sharp slice like fire, blood filled with agony would flow

Spinning slowly into good times, it brought with it friends
One was a soul-friend connected through centuries, he was a Godsend
Teaching her how to deal with the loneliness, and darkness
He reminded her of the pen's savage caress
He was a great poet, with a shattered caring heart
"Bleed ink on the paper to make it depart"
"I love you dear friend, use the pen instead of the blade to drain
All the agonizing sorrow, and dark thoughts in your brain"

Soon figuring out they were friends of the soul, talking everyday
She prayed it would always stay that way
She got use to the "I love you" said to each other
When she was sad, big Bear hugs that smothered

Quickly the wheel spun good around to bad
In that day, in just a few hours she lost all she had
His demons had won, they had finally taken him down
On deaths door, bet you can guess by who he was found
It was a grief of the soul, she had never felt before
Far beyond agony, sorrow, or pain, this was a different door

One by one the other friends slowly disappear
It doesn't matter how, she's right back here
Wheel grinds slowly through loneliness
She's trying everything not to be depressed

Carefully she takes out and caress the tiniest wrinkle out of the paper
Pen now in hand, writing so fast ink almost becomes vapor
She drains her pain into her new friends she creates
With the blackest ink her darkness she tries to illuminate
With her paper friends she tries  to banish the crushing loneliness
Trying to fill the spot he left, trying to fill the emptiness

©Pauline Russell

So ******* lonely it hurts so much
No one to talk to no one to touch
There's only sorrow in my core
I don't want to exist any more
Wishing I would of joined my friend when he died
But all I do is ******* sit here and cry
Every year I hope it gets better, but it only gets worse
I'm so very tired of living under this curse
God please take me in some way
What I have is not life, but decay
I can't take my own life, it would hurt my family to much
But please take me home God, I can no longer to this life clutch
Time does not heal wounds only more does it create
Please God I can no longer live in this state.
God please hear my plea
I no longer want to be

©Pauline Russell