I'm feeling today that something is wrong
Bells are going off, it sounded an alarm
Talked to my friends, they're inside of my head
Here's what they told me, this is what's said

"what's left of your brain this is what we find"
"your thoughts where unique, they where one of a kind"
"But years of abuse"
"Has shook everything loose"

But something not right
No longer needing to fight
Feeling so free
How could this be

"Well, with that gun in your hand"
"You where off to a different land"
"we, your friends all agree"
"with that single shot you set us all free"
"You'll no longer be afraid"
"With your death, you where saved"

No more body, means no more deep scars
I can finally reach out and touch the stars
This realization was stunning indeed  
A wonderful feeling of final being freed

I don't want to do this any more
Just leave me lying on the floor
I am nothing but the goo
That's been wiped of the shoes

Of all that have tromped
Of all that have stomped

They have whittled me down
Till there is no ME to be found
Shavings lying scattered
When the northern wind battles
I'm a broken window that rattles

Into dust I've been turned
Into dust I've been burned

It's true....what humans couldn't do
Well...the universe finished through
Leaving me dangling from the noose
Refusing to ever turn me loose

It makes sure I'm in it's twist
It makes sure I'm in it's fist

Please walk away
You don't want to see the sway
For I know what tomorrow will bring
So I'll just hang here and swing

He took the drugs to ease his physical pain
He took the drugs to deal with all the strain
He took the drugs now it's in his brain
He took the drugs now he's stuck in the sick and twisted game

You'll find him there within his room
You'll find him there with the needle and the spoon
You'll find him there where the darkness looms
You'll find him there for the pain always resumes

I'm scared one day I'll find him there............that awful shade of blue

(poet's side note: worse fear realized August 16th 2016)

This silence is brutally violent
The voices in my head went silent
My thoughts continue to race
They stir no emotion, just empty space
A pulverized heart keeps beating
The thumping in my chest keeps repeating
The wells in my eyes have ran dry
No more tears will be cried
Not a thing to keep me reeling
No emotion, no feelings
I'm afraid I've succumbed
Laying on a bed of thorns, feeling nothing but numb

Close to death
A finale breath
Reaper's touch
A finale hush
Pain dissipates
In loved one's eyes reinstates

I've felt it coming on for days
That ******* Dog is on his way
Nothing I did made his course sway

Why can't he just slumber
But deep in his throat I heard that rumble
I know I'm going to take a tumble

On the sharp rocks of life I'll be dashed
A bone crunching crash
It'll be fast

He pounced on he this morning
Now I'm in mourning
I seen him coming I had warning

In his big strong jaws he'll rip me apart
He'll devour my soul, my heart
That will only be a start

As he guards my hole
Not letting me go
My agony grows

Little girl lost
Always paying the cost
Look where she was tossed

Sleepless eye so big and bright
Way up there in the darkened sky
Watching all that wage the fight
Seeing all the pain they have acquired
That leaves them balancing on the brink
Slowly and agonizingly they expire
Sleepless eye doesn't blink