P ain that keeps me up at night
T orturous memories that won’t leave my head
S adistic people from long ago still haunt me
D emons of the past crawl in my bed

I exist in the midst of
the ruins of myself, and
the stranger I have become

The day greets me with its
aching loneliness forcing me
to suffer through its brutal hours

Even in my dreams,
I am still being crushed  
by the heaviness of the night

And I do not know
if I can bear to see
another burning sunset

Let me see with eyes that have
never seen the stars in the sky

give me a tactile map of the constellations

so I may feel the might of Orion
like my feet feel the cracks in the pavement

give me this, so that I may know
the beauty I am missing
and weep

I long to feel the craters of the moon
in exchange for never seeing its phases

why can’t I touch the sky!?

my fingers are already itching,
feeling the heat from star fire

my heart is grieving for what I’ve lost
my eyes grow heavy and close

(as if they were ever different, open…)

as I realise that this midnight world
is not meant for me to see

The steeple penetrates
the puffy pink
clouds, and the
horizon squirts
sweet rain.
My face gets
sticky.

I have a friend who tells me
that nothing
no one
and no love
is unconditional.

He’s beaming and bright, and light like soft rain;
but sometimes I look at him
and it hurts.

I have a friend who speaks softly
to my hard of heart,
who cracks me up and open.
I have a friend who keeps me strong.

I have a friend for whom I love
even in times when I have none;

He’s not the love of my life but so often the light.

If you’re the one that’s so concerned about the world ending
Why are you trying so hard to bring it to it’s knees?