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10.9k · Sep 2018
Bottled Up
Sarah Spencer Sep 2018
You see the slump in my shoulders
the way I carry myself
the burdens of boulders
that threaten my health.

When you ask what's wrong
I pull up my guard
don't want your pity or sad song
won't tell you why life's hard.

So if you want to know
I'll bottle it inside
wrap up all remains in a black bow
and tell you I'm fine.
1.4k · Jan 2019
Sarah Spencer Jan 2019
sharp fangs
razor claws
heavy paws
on dirt plains
painted scowl
so much zest
yet loneliness
is in that howl
1.3k · Sep 2018
I Think of You
Sarah Spencer Sep 2018
I cannot lie.

I think of you
before I fall asleep
where in my mind you still creep
I think of you
where the happiest moments lay
underneath warm afternoon rays
I think of you
even through the sea of bottles,
a facade on full throttle
I think of you
when I try to restore
and move on with the boy next door

and I can only cry.
thnx for reading!
989 · Oct 2021
I Have No One to Talk To
Sarah Spencer Oct 2021
I have no one to talk to
no one to vent to
no one to take off the burdens
no one to set me free.

He used to listen to me
he used to care about what I had to say.
I used to care about him
before he cared about her instead.

Now I'm all alone
to cry about my dad.
Now I'm all alone
to deal with my insecurities.
Now I'm all alone
to fight against the knife.

Now no words have left my lips
since his lips have been on her.
963 · Mar 2021
Self Hate
Sarah Spencer Mar 2021
I wish you loved me
but most of all
I wish I loved myself
I'm tired of pretty poems. My thoughts are good enough
911 · Dec 2018
Sarah Spencer Dec 2018
I've been branded new
painted blue
fallen through

because of you

Tears that drown
permenant frown
sobbing sound

I"m a letdown.
799 · Mar 2019
Two Face
Sarah Spencer Mar 2019
You say "Its like I dont know you anymore"
but you never knew me in the first place
I never open up the door
to let you see my other face
765 · Oct 2021
A Cry for Help
Sarah Spencer Oct 2021
Drawing lines on myself
with a knife in place of a pen,
wanting someone to see,
anyone to see.

Because no one sees
that my tears are a cry for help,
that whenever I make suicide jokes
they're less of joke
and more of a fantasy.
That I don't just wear sleeves all the time
because I'm constantly cold.

So I'll finish my sketch
and display it for everyone to see.
I hope everyone likes it.
Not everyone likes abstract art after all...
708 · Feb 2019
Sarah Spencer Feb 2019
I wish I had
the courage to
look into your eyes
without feeling
the regret
or despise
of myself.

I'm not worthy
of anyone,
not anymore,
not since
the sun
stopped shining
inside me.

I can't take
you seeing me
in this way,
I can't shake
myself any harder ,
I can't smile
like I'm okay.

Just for once
forget me
leave this day
leave me
so I don't have to

I promise tomorrow
you'll find
new friends
this sorrow
will devour me
not you

I will never
let it
hurt you

637 · Aug 2021
Sarah Spencer Aug 2021
I'm the burden on your back
the one thing that makes you crack
you wanna move on from me
but I won't set you free

I'm selfish to say the least
a different kind of beast
I've taken away your name
and forced you to play my game.

I won't unlock these chains
cause you're the one to blame
you always thought you were tougher
Well babe now its your turn to suffer...
561 · Aug 2019
Sarah Spencer Aug 2019
I love you
And you love me
but I know
that we will never be

I love her
but she doesn't love me
yet she's so tempting
in my dreams

It's so hard to be faithful to you
when you run off
I want the old you back
I had once come across
557 · Sep 2019
Umbrella(haiku poem)
Sarah Spencer Sep 2019
Oh my umbrella
you protect me from the rain
I hate you for that

I would have waited
Inside the depths of my house
If I was afraid

I wanna be drenched
blond hair tangling in my eyes
and wild childish grin

Because I have known
that when that umbrella's there
that smile is gone
553 · Sep 2020
Sarah Spencer Sep 2020
Orange in my mouth
a split-second smile your way
makes you young again
531 · Dec 2018
Sarah Spencer Dec 2018
You make me smile
in your light arms of laughter
you stay for awhile
even hours after
484 · Jan 11
Sarah Spencer Jan 11
It's been days.
I wish you had at least called
to tell me you're okay.

Maybe then I wouldn't worry
or wait at night near my phone,
crying till my vision's blurry.

I know I'm not important
enough to be a part of your life.
Or maybe I'm just going on another rant...
If I get upset at somebody about something I'm always the one who gets looked at like a monster. It doesn't matter what they did to me. I never win. I never get what I want
472 · Oct 2018
Drunken Dreams
Sarah Spencer Oct 2018
Grab my hand
i'll take you to my wonderland
where tears are left unshed
and dreams do not play dead

Maybe we'll go on
a spring leaf fawn
warm nights drunken dreary
waiting for dreams nice and clearly

Or maybe we'll argue all night
splurged by my own fright
thunder clouds of disaster
claiming their rightful master...
462 · Jan 2019
Sarah Spencer Jan 2019
little girl so naive
falls for the traps
she can never leave
must always relapse

falls for the boy
becomes his toy
and never knows
he leaves tomorrow

she waits for him
under the stars
her eyes dim
an unhealed scar
454 · Nov 2021
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
Do I have the power
to inspire with just a pen?
To give up fighting
my way through this world
with a sword and
pick up a passion instead?
452 · Nov 2021
Miles Apart (haiku poem)
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
Living through a lie,
faking a smile every day
so you will like me.

Maybe if I smile
you'll want to keep me around
a little longer.

But I'm losing you
I can't see you in the dark.
I can't grab your hand.

We are miles apart
but when I try to reach you,
she's blocking my way
438 · Dec 2021
Daddy Daddy!
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Daddy Daddy, it appears
that all you care about is beer.
How come when I'm near
it's always like I'm not even here?
I hate him so much...
413 · Feb 2019
Sarah Spencer Feb 2019
I'll capture your words
into the palms of my hands
to save for later
so when I'm alone
trapped in the doubts of my mind
I won't end it all
406 · Jan 5
My life is one of the China teacups
my grandmother collects,
pretty and perfectly in place
on the outside,
but on the inside
I'm just one push off the table from
Haven't been able to write for a while because I've been on break. I've grown an entire year older in just the two weeks I've been gone!
392 · Aug 2018
Tough Love
Sarah Spencer Aug 2018
Tough love is the
ropes that are twisting
around my middle and
getting tighter
the more I
snaking up my arms and
legs until I lose balance
and fall hard
on my face
so hard that everything's
laced in
it curls around my neck
cutting off any hope
for air or even
one last
that might alert
the eyes from the
shadows, but they just
stare in wicked amusement
as the ropes
break the
of my skin making
the blood pour rapidly
off of red flesh
and onto the
black tiles
of the
385 · Jan 2019
See Through Souls
Sarah Spencer Jan 2019
You look right through
my soul
to see her standing new
and whole
381 · Apr 2018
Urges of Excuse
Sarah Spencer Apr 2018
why we lay and watch our ****
no matter our friend's face of scorn
the reason we shoot up drugs,
hiding our standards under the kitchen rug
we slice and gouge into our skin
hoping to forget our scarring sin
chugging pints of beer and wine
wishing for a life divine
the girl in the clouds will constantly starve
just so others can want her slim carve
a person will harass and bully
the quiet kid without knowing them fully
after all of the hurt and pain
there is no reason to go insane
hope u like
379 · Dec 2018
Sarah Spencer Dec 2018
This fear is keeping me alive
and I hate it
I want one slice
so much I crave it

choking on my tears
has only made it worse
blacking out on beer
will not stop this curse

but as I stare
at the blade
I realize I care

I truly am insane
This poem is dedicated to my friend Alex, who helped me truly thrive.
368 · Aug 2021
Sarah Spencer Aug 2021
S ometimes I'd rather die I'm
U seless and have no purpose but
I nstead I lose my motivation, lying down and pulling the
C overs over my head, crying and dying on the
I nside instead of on the outside but in the end the outcome
D oesn't  really matter because if no one even cares
E nough to comfort me then they wouldn't care enough to show up to my funeral
349 · Aug 2018
The Meaning of...
Sarah Spencer Aug 2018
I would sacrifice
anything without question
for you.

Gouge out my eyes,
let the blood overflow with discretion
until my face is crayon blue.

Fall into the sea of your passion,
so cold yet deadly
and let the waters drown out my soul.

Or even dash in
to stop a raining bullet's medley,
with a smile as I stare lastly at it's gaping hole.

And why
would I shove
you out of death's grasp like I do?

349 · Aug 2021
The Death of Me
Sarah Spencer Aug 2021
Both sides of me have
been in a ****** battle,
both believing
that they are right.
The sides of me that
both love and hate you.
And it doesn't matter
which side wins
because both will result
in the death of me
347 · Nov 2021
You Just Never Noticed Me
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
People always think I use the words
"I love you" too fast,
but what they don't know
is that I've loved you for years.
You just never noticed me.
346 · Feb 2019
Sarah Spencer Feb 2019
I swallow the pills
but I'm still alive
oh for once will
you just let me die?
343 · Sep 2021
He Loves Me Not
Sarah Spencer Sep 2021
"He loves me," I sigh,
before I pick the petal.
"H-he loves me not..."
341 · Nov 2021
My Prison
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
My tongue is a double-edged sword.
Every time I open my mouth
I hurt others.

But I hurt myself even more.

Because the words that leave my lips
are words spoken by a monster.
Words that fly out furiously
whenever I feel like a hurt animal
that's backed into a corner.

They're always followed with a tsunami of
"I'm sorry"s
and me using whatever charm I have left
to make you forgive me.

So I can do it again.

It's a vicious cycle,
one that has, over time, became my prison.

A prison I don't have the key to...
Sarah Spencer Sep 2021
I wish every day could be like
the first day I fell in love with you.
That I had the power
to freeze time and rewind
and relive that first day forever
full of loud laughs and wide smiles
and corny pick up lines,
full of side glances and rose blushes
and lingering hugs,
full of fun times and fresh beginnings
and a sense of mystery that
keeps me coming back for more.
All I know is that we just started dating,
and that tomorrow never comes.
So does that mean we can always feel this way?
That we can always stay in today?
I'm in a really happy place in my life right now and when that happens I write less poetry. I'm sorry in advance. Also this poem is for the sweetest boy in the whole entire world. I love you Bubby!
331 · Feb 2019
Girl Crush
Sarah Spencer Feb 2019
I used to hate
the smell of
your perfume
now I recreate
the fragrance
in my mind

And then your lips
so small
with a smile
my guard slips
when I stare
at them

Where's the confidence?
you are so
**** pretty
yet always tense
whenever I
tell you that
you've alwayss looked
better without
the makeup

I am so hooked
317 · Dec 2018
Sarah Spencer Dec 2018
absinthe and *****
helps me forget about you
never wake me up
316 · Nov 2019
Break Me
Sarah Spencer Nov 2019
My heart beats for you
a delicate butterfly
only yours to break
305 · Nov 2021
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
Have you ever been so upset
that you feel like your heart
is going to beat out of your chest?
That you're going to have
a heart attack and die?
That your finally going to understand
what it literally means
to die of a broken heart?
299 · Nov 2021
Writing Ruins Me
Sarah Spencer Nov 2021
"Write," people say.
"It'll help with the pain."
But what if every time I pick up a pencil
I only go more insane?

I stay in my depression.
I can't say I'm brave.
I'm stuck on this merry-go- round
and I no longer want to play.

It doesn't make me stronger.
It only makes me sadder.
If this goes on any longer
I know I will decay.

Writing is a reminder
of where and how I went wrong.
It reminds me of the regrets,
I'm hearing the same old song.

So when people tell me to write
I want to sit and scream.
All I ever wanted was
to leave this dreadful dream.
It's all I ever hear on this site. And I know you guys are just trying to be nice but I hate  hearing it so **** much.
291 · Aug 2019
Sarah Spencer Aug 2019
I want more than just your hand
thumb rubbing circles over my calluses
I want more than just your lips
awkward and unrhythmic
I want more than just your words
mumbling with downcast eyes

I want your fingertips
fluttering with curiosity
I want your tongue
quenched with my saliva
I want your promise
that this is more than just childish lust
This is my favorite free verse poem I have written so far. I've been practicing and I hope you like it ! <3
286 · Aug 2021
Sarah Spencer Aug 2021
"I love you so much"
standing right in front of you
I'm invisible
i just wish you would look at me and actually see that there is someone who loves and cares about you.Shutting me out wont fix anything.
285 · Aug 2021
Is Life Worth Living?
Sarah Spencer Aug 2021
I am going to die soon.

Life is just a flicker,
like turning off a light.
One second the light's there
and then its gone

The world's been around
for billions of years.
I won't make a difference.
My stories wont be told
in textbooks for students
to roll their eyes over .

The only thing I'll leave behind
is my carbon footprint.
I'll only be killing
Mother Earth
the longer I live

People take their time
trying to figure out life's least
answered questions,
but no one has ever wondered this:

Is life worth living at the cost of another?
278 · Oct 2019
Sarah Spencer Oct 2019
You are a hued rainbow of stars
hotter than a blue Virgo flame
though to the naked eye
you appear to be lilac
just as identical to the others
never shining any brighter

Yet I know the truth
I can see the spectrum
visualize what others cannot fathom
know you're brighter than Polaris
guiding my ship to your shore
and into the hollowness of your arms
272 · Sep 2018
I Know Who I Am
Sarah Spencer Sep 2018
I know who I am
you say I should care
but really I don't give a ****
about the clothes I wear

Forcing glitter upon my body
will not change my self esteem
or even make me the hottie
that you so childishly dream

You made me this way
by your harsh-spitting words
until what little I grasp decays
into one of my baggy t-shirts

I can't go back
to the world I used to know
where no one would ever attack
the way I've grown

I swear I know who I am.
270 · Feb 2019
Sharing Stones
Sarah Spencer Feb 2019
I pick up the stones
carry them on my back
so you're not alone

The rocks they stack
and you shed the tears
with me right there
we conquer your fears

You know I care

I would break
my withered bones
for that grin to wake
as your own
268 · Dec 2021
Where My World Ends
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
There is a place where my world ends
And before your's begins,
And there is a bridge that's old and broken
And there no words are ever spoken
And there my thoughts are free and open
To drag me down and condemn.

Let me leave this place where I'm all alone
And stuck with demons I cannot defend.
Past the oceans filled from my tears
I shall run with a run that may take years,
And past my most delicate and darkest fears
From the place where my world ends.

Yes I'll run with a run that may take years
And past my most delicate and darkest fears.
Oh, but I'll always hear the screams in my ears
From the place where my world ends!
This poem is inspired by my favorite poem Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. Seriously check out his poem  It's way better than mine<3
261 · Sep 2021
Sarah Spencer Sep 2021
M y favorite songs

U se words that sound like

S traight poetry, but I also like songs that

I nclude no words at all. I guess I just like any

C ategory of music that makes my soul stand up and dance
255 · Jan 2019
Carry On
Sarah Spencer Jan 2019
we pick up the pieces
when everything is gone
smooth out the creases
and carry on
249 · Jan 2019
Set Me Free
Sarah Spencer Jan 2019
If you love me
unlock these chains
give me air
set me free
just trust for once
that I'm doing right
so I can breathe

One day it'll change
I'll pack my bags
and leave
so you can't control
whats in my mind
for once I'll see
what happiness is
and finally be able
to ditch the gradually
building pressure that's been
in my chest for years

When I flee
I'll find love
and then I'll see
that you never
ever really loved me
i know this poem ***** but i had to get it off of my chest
247 · 3d
I Hate You
Sunsets in every color,
is what I love about summer.
Everything you ever put me through,
is what I hate about you.
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