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I have butterflies in my stomach,
but not because I'm nervous.
I swallowed them,
whole without chewing,
so not to mess up their fragile fairy wings
or have slimy bug guts sliding down my throat.
I thought if I had the butterflies
I could finally get rid of the sins inside
that reside within me as dark as night,
that there would finally be something about me
that was  
B  E  A  U  T  I   F  U  L.
But since I can't count on myself to change,
I keep butterflies inside me instead.
A random thought formed this one. I started thinking of cliche idioms and this was the first one that came to mind.
1d · 29
My Only Escape
This place is a home
even though it doesn't have walls.
It's the place I can run to
when the demons won't
stop swirling in my head
like a tornado turning the wrong way.
It's the place I can shelter from the storm
even though there is no roof to keep me warm.
It's fate that I came across this place.
No matter how long I stray away
I always come back.
I'm drawn to this place like a moth to light,
like a phene to nicotine.
Hell, I'd probably be dead in a ditch today
if this place hadn't of let me stay
where I won't freeze to death,
where I don't have to fight the thoughts in my head,
where I am sure I'll be safe.
I'll always be thankful for this place,
because it's my one and only escape.
Hello Poetry is my escape. Thank you to the people who created this place!!!
Valentine's day is looming closer
and I can't wait to be the only one
who doesn't get one of those boxes of chocolate
with all of the assorted flavors to pick through.
I'm looking forward to not be given
one of those teddy bears that are as big
as a seven-year-old going through a growth spurt.
I'm so thrilled to not receive
a cringey Hallmark card
with a "Roses are red" poem hiding inside.
Hell, I'm even happy
to not get a kiss from a lover
or a hug from a friend I've known since elementary.
Valentines day is dumb and disgusting
and the people who celebrate it are just suckers.
Feel free to pass me up Cupid!
I'm totally not jealous...
Wasn't sure if I should have waited till February to to post this. But yeah I'm 18 and every year since middle school I've never gotten anything or even acknowledged by anyone whether I was in a relationship or not. And no, I don't hate Valentine's day. I'm just extremely jealous of all of the action and that I've never been a part of it.
I've given up on boys.
I'm tired of being treated
like a toy that is only played
with once on Christmas day.

I'm tired of being seen
only for my body,
like I'm not a person
with a brain.
I'm not just something to be obtained

I'm the person
who lifts you up when you're down,
who will always want you around,
who will keep your secrets,
who isn't afraid to see you at your weakest.

I'm tired of being seen for the size of my parts.
Why can't you just see the size of my heart?
I swear I'm not a feminist. I'm just tired of being seen and treated this way. It's not fair. Nothings fair!!!!
When I think of love I think
of my favorite movie playing on screen,
the song I can't get out of my head,
jumping up and down on my bed,
staring out the window riding shotgun,
strawberry ice cream under the sun,
climbing to the top of a tree,
building sandcastles by the sea,
hugs from my bestest friends,
of never wanting this feeling to end.
I don't like the structure of it bc it feels too redundant but idk!!! I wanna write free verse but I can't!!!
I welcome love
like I'd welcome an old friend,
with a hug and a warm embrace
upon seeing a familiar face.
But no matter how long I wait,
love never comes knocking at my door.
I wonder why I even try anymore...
Random poem I had in my blue notebook<3
My dreams every night
are always the same,
of me taking my back pack
and running away.
But it's not the running away that's weird.
It's that I'm always running from my fears,
from the same place,
from the same person.
I'm running away from you
whether its in the dead of night
or the middle of the day,
because I'll do anything
to keep the demons at bay.
But just for once
I wish I could be brave,
because running from your problems
makes you afraid,
at least that's what society says.
Sometimes I just wish
I could control my dreams,
so that whenever I feel like running away
I could turn around
and finally meet you face to face.
Idk I've always had dreams like this since I was around six. It's always from my house and my parents.
5d · 116
Lesbian
I want her skin on mine
I want to be inside her mind
I want her to crawl on me
I want to be inside her body

But I also want her brain
I want to have her last name
I want to be better together
I want to give her forever

I'm a lesbian,
and that's what guys
can't understand.
That to make a girl happy,
you don't need a man.
I'm tired of guys!!!
5d · 52
Expectations
I can't constantly be funny
or have a witty reply.
Even the sun doesn't shine all the time.
So here's me without all the lies:
On the inside I'm shy,
expectations make me wanna die,
and sometimes I just want someone
to hold me while I cry.
**** that kinda hurt to read when I finished it. Whether I like it or not it's true
People who write poetry
always wear their hearts on their sleeves.
They’re not afraid to feel
or look weak.
Poets aren't afraid to look for answers
in the binds of their mind,
or to sit and reflect over regrets
that most people try to forget.
Poets look at a sunset
and instead of seeing the opportunity for
a perfect picture
see the opportunity for
a perfect poem
that only they can write.
Yes poets are not only a different kind of people,
they're also a different kind of beautiful
I'm a drop in the ocean
a cloud in the sky
a flower in the field
a star in the night.
I'll never be special
no matter how hard I try.
**** I'm depressed
6d · 36
Surrender
You were an array of red flags
that challenged me at every twist and turn.
You declared war on the weak and wounded
who did nothing to you in return.

Eventually I threw up the white flag
and surrendered myself to you.
I succumbed myself to a prison
I didn't commit any crimes to get into.
I started reading a book of poems that sort of planted this idea into my head. It's not what I normally read but the content is relatable.
I wish I had a hidden talent
that could bring a crowd to its knees.
I can barely balance
on both feet,
yet alone sing a solo
or play water polo.
I can't put others in a trance
when I dance,
or speak to a crowd,
or even make my parents proud.
No one will ever notice me
when all I can write is poetry.
This place is a home.
There's a dining room table
I can do my homework on
and a kitchen I can burn down.
This place is still a home
Even though there's nobody
to come home to after a long day's work
or someone to sit and have dinner with.

No, this place will never be a home.

In this house everybody
looks at their phones
instead of their family.
In this house the kids
take their dinner upstairs.
In this house the parents
fight in the middle of the night.
No, this place will never be a home.
This place is just a house
that I just so happen to live in.
Jan 20 · 227
Dark into Day
Sarah Spencer Jan 20
With you I'll feel forever young
even when I'm old and gray,
running and jumping under the sun  
until the last of summer fades.
You'll always be the breath in my lungs
that turns the dark into the day.
Is this poem good? i honestly don't know.
Jan 20 · 59
Everyday Angel
Sarah Spencer Jan 20
Only I could see her halo
and its heather hinted glow
as she pushed a cart down aisle eight
and selected a sack of seedless grapes.

I bet her voice sounds smooth like a lullaby,
I bet she bears wings that take her to the sky.
But I'll never know if she really is an angel,
because girls like her don't dance with devils.
Random thoughts led to this poem.what started out as a poem about my gf turned into something with an entirely different meaning. And god, I need to stop coming on here so much. I need to get a life...
Sarah Spencer Jan 19
She cries herself to sleep every night,
shivering under the covers, trying to fight
the demons that haunt her dreams.
Yet to others everything isn't as it seems.
A smile stretched across her round face,
pushes everyone's suspicions away.

She wishes she could push away the demons
the same way she pushes away her feelings.
What nobody realizes is that their obliviousness is what's killing me. I would sell my soul just to have someone to talk to...
Jan 19 · 33
I Want To Be Famous
Sarah Spencer Jan 19
I want to be famous
so I can escape this deadbeat town,
full of people who buzz like bees
and spread rumors like honey.
I want to leave this town
so I can leave you behind
like last week's trash,
and be free from the chains
and teeth that gnash.
I want to leave you behind
so I can bloom bright and beautiful.
Because when you're around
the only thing I can do is drown.
I wish writing didn't have to be my form of therapy. That's why I write so much. I'm stuck all day with my thoughts and have no outlet to put them into.
Jan 19 · 317
I Hate You
Sarah Spencer Jan 19
Sunsets in every color,
is what I love about summer.
Everything you ever put me through,
is what I hate about you.
Jan 19 · 42
No One Ever Listened
Sarah Spencer Jan 19
No one ever listened
to what she had to say,
but they liked the way
her words sounded on the page
Why am I so invisible?! Why can't someone irl just give a **** about me?!
Jan 18 · 215
I'll Never Be Enough
Sarah Spencer Jan 18
I think I'm starting
to look like I'm starving.
My cheeks are sunken,
my stomach can't function,
and my ribs are poking.
My stomach's only soaking
up water cause I'm pounds away
from my goal weight.
But it'll never be enough.
I'll never be enough...
Sarah Spencer Jan 18
You never leave my dreams
no matter where you are
when I'm awake.

I always see you're smiling face
or your brow furrowed in anger
when my dreams are in danger
of turning into a nightmare.

But I'm never scared
because you're always there.

Even if it's just for a split second,
a wave my way
instantly puts my mind at ease
like a baby being rocked to sleep.

But now you're no longer there...

I'm aware that, in reality, you never cared,
but in my dreams, it seemed,
with each hug and hasty shout,
that I was all you ever cared about.

But now even that version of you is gone too,
slowly being replaced by her
even though many months felt like a blur.

I've realized she's the girl I love
and that I have nothing to be ashamed of,
but I still want to cry myself to sleep
even though you'll no longer be
in my dreams to comfort me...
A poem that took me days to write and it's still a complete mess. I thought if I just kept staring at it I'd be able to fix it but that's not the case. I have this feeling  and experience that I just am incapable of explaining for the first time in my life...
Jan 14 · 58
I Have Lived
Sarah Spencer Jan 14
I have loved and I have lost
I have laughed and I have cried
I have created and I have destroyed
I have lived... and now I must die
Jan 14 · 63
Change Me
Sarah Spencer Jan 14
If you could read minds
you would find
a total stranger.
You'd want to change her,
change me.
Yes my thoughts would finally be free,
but you would never agree
with me.
I wanna do a rhyming poem every so often. Gives my mind a break<3
Jan 12 · 23
I Deserve Better
Sarah Spencer Jan 12
I gave you my virginity,
gave you the deepest part of me.
And though I thought it made us closer,
you told me it was over.

I had been saving it for someone
who I thought I could love,
but that person wasn't you.
I was just too stupid to see the truth.

Someone who loves you
doesn't keep you around to be used,
someone who loves you
doesn't leave you alone and blue.

We weren't good together.
I now know that I deserve better.
Jan 12 · 26
The Honeymoon Phase
Sarah Spencer Jan 12
It's always 1 step forward
and 3 steps back with you.
Right when I start to think
things are better between us,
you make me realize we were just
stuck in the honeymoon phase again.
Sarah Spencer Jan 12
"Do you think he's hot?"
a girl said to me, pushing her phone in my face.
The picture was of a guy standing in the mirror,
his shirt off and his hair tugged up with product,
the type of guy girls would worship.
"No," ​I said, because I didn't like lying to people.
"He's not my type."
The girl  just shrugged me off and turned to
show the picture to the girl next to me.
But little did that girl know
that while she was worshiping the guy on her screen,
I was busy worshiping the girl next to me.
I think I might be a little gay..
I am gay...pansexual actually. I just realized I don't have any poems that are aimed at lgbtq people. Thought I minds well post one. If even one person can relate. I'll be happy<3
Jan 12 · 31
Love is Evergreen
Sarah Spencer Jan 12
Love is evergreen.
No matter how much you
want it to wilt like a flower,
It will always find a way
to grow back again.
Jan 12 · 66
Music. Is. Life.
Sarah Spencer Jan 12
Headphones in my ears,

tuning the world to white noise,

turning off my senses.

All that matters is the beat,

pumping blood into my veins,

breathing a clear calm into

this instrument of a body.

Music. Is. Life
Sarah Spencer Jan 11
If I killed myself
would you notice me for once?
Would you even care?
Jan 11 · 530
Unimportant
Sarah Spencer Jan 11
It's been days.
I wish you had at least called
to tell me you're okay.

Maybe then I wouldn't worry
or wait at night near my phone,
crying till my vision's blurry.

I know I'm not important
enough to be a part of your life.
Or maybe I'm just going on another rant...
If I get upset at somebody about something I'm always the one who gets looked at like a monster. It doesn't matter what they did to me. I never win. I never get what I want
Jan 10 · 74
Good Will Never Win
Sarah Spencer Jan 10
In fiction good always beats evil.
The good guy will always squash
the bad guy and justice will always prevail.
That's what fiction teaches your children.
That "what goes around comes around"
that "God will pay you double for your troubles"

But in reality that never happens.

In reality the bad guy squashes the good guy
and evil prevails
as it spreads from person to person.

And I don't know about you
but I wish I would have been
fed a spoonful of reality as a kid.

Then I would have at least been prepared
to deal with people like you
who waltz into my life,
all charming and smiles in the beginning,
but who will stab me in the back and toss me aside
the second I am no longer useful for their evil plans.

Sometimes I just wish
that fiction stories could apply to real life...
When you broke up with me
I would listen to Olivia Rodrigo on repeat.
I listened to her lyrics
as if they were the Bible
because she was the only one
who knew what I was feeling.
And though I've moved on,
hearing her songs still bring me to tears
because my heart still remembers
the way my voice rose
when I begged for you back
over and
over and
over again.
My heart still remembers the days
I was too afraid to face my friends
who wanted you dead
or the nights I spent crying
because you weren't there to comfort me.
And even though you've told yourself to forget
those times we tenderly shared,
I know my heart will always remember.
Because I will always play those same **** songs
over and
over and
over again.
I seriously do this every day. It's driving me crazy.
Jan 5 · 413
Teacup
My life is one of the China teacups
my grandmother collects,
pretty and perfectly in place
on the outside,
but on the inside
I'm just one push off the table from
s
   h
a
   t
t
   e
r
   i
n
   g
Haven't been able to write for a while because I've been on break. I've grown an entire year older in just the two weeks I've been gone!
Dec 2021 · 158
Dig Up the Past
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
We got back together
but it doesn't feel like
we're starting over from the beginning.
Because as I breathed life into our future,
you just continued to dig up the past.
Dec 2021 · 75
Why Can't I Be Happy?!
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Why am I always crying?
Everyone around me is always
so lighthearted and upbeat
laughing and
talking and
smiling and
I'm just sitting off to the side
with a sour look on my face,
feeling like I'm on the outside peering in,
like I don't belong.
What is their secret?
What are they doing that I'm not?
Why can't I just be like everyone else?
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I be happy?!
I don't care If this poem is just me going on another one of my rants when I'm upset. I like to record my feelings.
Dec 2021 · 45
I Never Said I Was Brave
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
They say the truth sets you free,
but it only puts me in chains,
roots me like a tree
no matter what society claims.

Sometimes I start thinking
What if I had lied?
Would I still be sitting here sinking?
Would you not have cried?

Sometimes some things
should be taken to the grave.
Because the truth hurts, it stings.
I never said I was brave...
I've been going through nothing but pain for the last two months all because I told the truth. I thought I was going to be rewarded for doing the right thing. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm done telling people the truth.
Dec 2021 · 271
Where My World Ends
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
There is a place where my world ends
And before your's begins,
And there is a bridge that's old and broken
And there no words are ever spoken
And there my thoughts are free and open
To drag me down and condemn.

Let me leave this place where I'm all alone
And stuck with demons I cannot defend.
Past the oceans filled from my tears
I shall run with a run that may take years,
And past my most delicate and darkest fears
From the place where my world ends.

Yes I'll run with a run that may take years
And past my most delicate and darkest fears.
Oh, but I'll always hear the screams in my ears
From the place where my world ends!
This poem is inspired by my favorite poem Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. Seriously check out his poem  It's way better than mine<3
Dec 2021 · 33
Puppeteer
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Over the years you've
played with my heartstrings,
pulled them taught,
became my puppeteer.
I tried to convince myself
that I didn't need you,
that I would be happier
without your harsh words
or controlling nature.
But without you I lay in a lifeless heap
unused
unloved
umimportant
Because you're he only one who sees me
even if It's just for my body
instead of my brain.
And even if I never know what love feels like
I'll at least  feel the tension from the strings
tearing me away
when I try to follow my own path.
Because if I've learned anything
pain feels better than feeling nothing at all.
This poem ***** and it's too emotional but I needed to get this off of my chest...
Dec 2021 · 441
Daddy Daddy!
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Daddy Daddy, it appears
that all you care about is beer.
How come when I'm near
it's always like I'm not even here?
I hate him so much...
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
I'll write down what I feel
because to me it is real.
I know I'm always crying
and my mouth is always lying
that all I do is drag you down
that you're better off without me around.
So I'm going to stop telling you things
I'll go off and spread my wings
and let you finally be free
of me.
So when I'm alone and afraid,
I'll put my pencil to the page.
I'll write off my feelings that are blue
because I can no longer talk to you
Dec 2021 · 219
Flashlight
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Where there is light,
love will always follow
Where there is darkness
I will be your flashlight
I think I'm going to try and put out a poem every day whether I like it or not.
Dec 2021 · 57
Falling in Love
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
When I fall in love,
I fall hard.
Flat on my face,
scraping both knees,
scuffing both hands.
And no,
I'm not gonna need a band aid
I'm gonna need stitches,
I'm gonna have scars.
I guess that's what I get
for falling so hard.
To all the people I've written love poems to on here over the last four years: Michael, Anthony, Elizabeth, Robert, and Trever. This poem is for youXD
Dec 2021 · 208
Polar Opposites
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
They say opposites attract.
It's even proven by science.
Two poles will always
fit together like puzzle pieces,
like they were made for each other,
while two poles from the same place
will always repel each other
no matter how hard you try
to force the two together.
Everyone I know dreams
that their soulmate will be just like them,
that they'll be able to bond
over similar stories and interests.
But I'll be out there
looking for my polar opposite.
Because if I can't trust my heart,
I trust science.
This poem reminded me of how my sister and dad used to fight all of the time because they were both the same people inside. They hated each other so much and I think it was because they both saw themselves in each other's eyes.
Dec 2021 · 38
A Penny For Your Thoughts
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
If they say you get
a penny for your thoughts
wouldn't I be a millionaire by now?
I tend to think a little too muchXD
Dec 2021 · 43
First Time
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
As we stared down at my bed,
the unrumpled sheets military made
awful thoughts ran though my head
and refused to fade away.
We took off each other's clothes,
my hands shaking like leaves
and right before he laid me down I froze
"I don't think I can do it," I breathed.
And that's when he pulled me in close,
our bodies throbbing with heat,
and that's when I realized I loved him the most,
that he was the one that made me complete.
And as he gently lowered me onto the sheets
the fears I had felt began to retreat...
I don't know if this poem will make people feel uncomfortable but I've been wanting to write something like this for awhile so I stopped caring. My first time is such a beautiful moment that I keep close to me and I wanted to write down my experience as it happened...
Dec 2021 · 50
Self Love
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
Self love.
Something I'm incapable of.

I'm like a jigsaw puzzle,
I'm worthless without others
surrounding me.
Others who make me look more
interesting, and kinder, and funnier
than I really am.

Because deep down I'm
a scared little girl with eyes
so wide you can see the whites.
A naive little girl who
falls in love and
gets trapped like a fly
stuck in a spider's web.
A brat of a little girl who is
too ignorant and too quick
to question and judge others.

Self love.
Something I will never be capable of.
Because I will never accept
the person I really am.

Because I despise myself more
than I despise my worst enemy
Just a random crap poem that's been sitting in my drafts for too long
Dec 2021 · 26
Inside My Mind
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
I'll never be able
to count the stars in the sky,
just like I'll never be able
to make you love me.
I would sell my soul
and spend an eternity in hell
just to spend a single second with you
in your arms
in your head
in your heart
Sometimes I wish I could
cast a spell on you
and make you love me
so that you could be
in my brain
in my body
in my life
But I know no matter how often
I open my eyes
the only place we'll ever be together
is inside my mind.
Is this poem good? i have no clue. I'm just a high school girl who plays around with poems in her free time. If you're looking for good poetry I'm not the person to go to.
Dec 2021 · 59
You Are My Everything
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
You are my everything.
Words cannot even describe,
but I will try.
You're my first waking thought,
the last before I sleep
and then there you are
weaved into my dreams.
eat, sleep, love you, repeat.
You are my everything.
I love this poem so much. It's a lot different when you write poems for the person you love and they actually get to read them. It's just something that gets me every time. That raw exchange of emotions<3
Dec 2021 · 53
Without You
Sarah Spencer Dec 2021
The day dragging on,
every second is a waste
when I'm without you
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