The party's over.
My makeup left fading, the remembrance of something beautiful.
My black dress is on the floor, replaced by your warm arms.
I shared a bed with you, a surface not made for two.
Snuggled under the same blanket.
A single pillow for our heads.
I felt your warmth through the night.
A strong presence at my back.
Your nose crowning into my hair.
We slept pressed together, our body twining with one another.
I slept with you last night.

The party may be over, but I'm still here with you in a bed not made for two.

Into the darkness I walk.
Hand and hand with the unfathomable flock.
Leaving footsteps as I stalk the docks.
Hands in pockets, filled with rocks.
I begin my journey with locks on my ankles.
Breathing in, working against the clock.
I hear my heart squawking like a trapped hawk.
Inside my head, listening to the knocks.
My lungs fill, balking within my plummet into the darkness.

For once, I fear no rejection.
In the darkness there is no direction.
Only the natural selection.
The perfect connection.

The correction of my death in deepest, blackest of waters.

His** smell. I could never define it properly. You never can, with scents. There are never words to describe them floating in the air after a rainstorm, nor the smell of a freshly cut grass, on a warm summer's day.

His scent was dark and musky: the shadows of an expensive aftershave, cigarettes burning slowly, the smell of home gliding on his skin.

Those, and a thousand other things I could never place my finger upon. It all combined to make up Him. The most comforting smell in the world

His blue eyes are like glacial-lakes, wrapping around his heart till he's chilled to the bone from the cold.
A deadly place where treading is no longer permitted.
His eyes are transparent and distant as the impersonal clouds passing overhead.

Even as I stands before him, reflecting off him.
I am still merely a reflection.

He knows my face, I reason silently.
From the hills of my cheeks, down towards the valley separating my lips.

He should recognize it all.

Instead a blank expression greets me.    
A look of cold, solid insouciance.
I'm immediately angry with myself for wanting to justify his indifference's.

A reflex I've never been able to expel.
The vestigial limb on a skeleton.
A party favor from another time forgotten for the newly discovered toy.

I twist in the fridged winds wrapping around him.
My force giving under the great pressure magnified by his powers.

I never wanted to dance upon his breeze.
This realization makes me burn hotter.
My anger brighter than the northern star.

I welcome it, my amounting rage.
I embraces it with a raging smile.

His glaciers may be cold, immovable at times.
A pretentious notion I might freeze.

For I am the sun swirling in nova's ring and cannot be affected by his black iced personality.

If only I'd known it all,
I would have said 'I love you' at the fall.

When I just was a girl,
with pink ribbons and skinny, bony legs.
I was naïve, without a care in the world.

I'd dream of the someday,
of what the future would become.
I didn't know about the heartache, pain,
the struggles lain out before me.
I knew nothing of the mountains I (w)could climb.
Nor the mud I'd crawl(ed) through.

In my perfect world, I was in a bubble.
In a valley that would drop
my feet out from under me.
I would fall.
Trailing into the arching past.

I would pay every dollar, I couldn't afford,  
Just to go back to being that skinny, bony child, draped in her pink ribbons.
Lost in my naïve world of 'what's to become...'

You've done it, gone in the ways and mistook my apathy for empathy. When have I ever shown a range of emotion like the arch of a rainbow? Instead,  blending into the background in shades of dark, dusty hues. My lackadaisical whims are nothing compared to the logic behinde string theory, or was it a theory based on my lack of range in emotions. I could be wrong but then again, I am an apathetic person.

So what do I know?