I exploded into a terror of destruction when you walked into my life,
but at the same time I fell into the glowing light you shined all around me.
I was failing fast,
about to be completely shattered,
lost in a mess of the grandest kind.
I would have drowned if you hadn't swam in and carried me out.
And though I crashed and burned the only blanket that held my tears,
it was for you
I know I destroyed what could have been,
I let my darkness get the best of me.
Created a story that tore apart the pages of what was real.
I was running,
loosing fast.
Until something stopped me.
And in a fire burning bright,
I came to.
My eyes opened,
and I could finally see clearly.
I knew what was wrong,
and now I realize I can fix it.

I said I didn't need you,
that you were okay where you were.
But truth was I wasn't the one that was okay.
I was left with the unknown,
afraid if tomorrow would ever come,
and how many mornings I would get to see.
I lied.
I did need you,
and on the cold hard floor with my bags in front of me,
I dialed your familiar number,
and begged you to come.
What I didn't know was you were already there.
You saw through my mask
and knew me better than I knew myself.
I was too in shock,
and all you cared about was being there,
holding my hand through it all,
and looking at me with those same caring eyes
I have gotten to love these few years.

Though I wasn't there when you were at your absolute worst.
Through I didn't hold your hand when you trying to get better,
thinking more about myself than you in that ugly bed,
with those sad eyes,
and the smile that would not return for months.  
I was there in the before and the after,
but I didn't keep my own promise to you when I said I wouldn't leave,
and because of that I regret each moment you crumbled more and more,
and the light that left your face.
I told myself I would do my hardest to not let it escape again when it came back.

And now here you are,
whispering the words I wish I had said to you in your breakdown,
telling me it will be okay,
and that you love me.
That no matter what happened,
you aren't going anywhere.
A kiss on the lips and I know you are right.
You are my rock,
my solid ground when everything inside of me is falling apart
You are that voice I can listen to when the machines get too loud.
And the song in my head I never want to stop.
In sickness you are here with me.
From every outburst or tear I cry,
to each strand of hair I loose,
and watching the color draining from my face.

I wasn't there when the battles with your own fight got too hard.
When your mind kept playing tricks,
and you didn't know how to make it stop.
And all the nightmares that kept returning,
haunting your every waking moment.

But today,
right now,
that doesn't matter.
We're together and if for some reason I don't make it through to see your eyes in the morning,
I'll spend this moment here and now getting lost in them and you getting lost in mine.

I don't want to be this way,
but it's who I am.
Sticks and stones,
and all that other **** knocked me down.
Turned me into a puzzle with a million pieces
scattered on the ground.
Confetti that was stepped on
when the party was over.
And that song on the radio
**** long forgotten by now.

I don't want to feel this crap,
but I can't stop it.
I'm on overdrive,
hitting 90 miles down a never ending backroad.
And with it all,
these tears fall,
and tired eyes can't hold them anymore.

I don't want to be me.
But I guess I'll have to settle,
because me is all I have.

The things that hold us down,
the things that tie us to the ground.

A past of heartaches,
a past of regrets.

All the things we wished we could have said or done.
All the people we wished we would have held on tighter to,
and the people we crave to talk to once more.

The tears that keep us up at night,
the tears that never seem to go away.
The anger that builds up right behind them,
and the sadness that overtakes us like a tidal wave.

The damage in our hearts,
scars we can't forget.

The pain we caused,
and the pain we were dealt.

The loneliness that keeps us boxed,
stuffed with things we can't make go away.

Because deep down inside buried breath the ashes,
we miss the happy times.
The things we loved,
the things we lost.

A scattered mess
he tries so desperately to hide.
No one knows his secrets,
and everything he fears.
Too scared to get close.
Too weary to open up.
What if it all crumbles
and he looses once more?
His mind is spinning,
and even though he wants to leave,
she convinces him to stay,
and around her his walls start to fall.
Sure he's lost before,
and he'll loose again.
Time and time again.
Love, friendship, innocence,
a stranger he understood all too well,
and someone he'll never meet,
but knows with all his heart.
It's an odd game life throws at him,
but he'll play it anyway.
Twists, turns, and everything in between.

A genius of the mind,
he writes with all the passion in the world.
Stories untold,
a masterpiece in the making.
But behind the paper a darkness shows.
His mind won't rest no matter how hard he tries.
And everything around spins out of control.
One moment is all it takes until he comes crumbling to the ground.
The high is there,
and suddenly it turns to anger,
then scared the next.
He falls apart,
hoping someone will pull him together again
before it comes to the point he can never return.

She's a dreamer,
high hopes,
and the world her oyster.
But behind her mask she holds a bruise,
too painful to show.
She isn't who you think she is,
the sparkle and high society nightmare don't reveal her truth.
Inside she's lonely and scared,
not quite sure of what she wants to be.
So she opens a bottle,
and drowns her sorrows,
mumbling every lie that was told to her face.
If only she could stop.
But she can't.
She's in too deep,
the bottle stuck like glue.

Two different stories,
two different people.
Some say they're crazy.
One minute up,
the next down.
But in the midst of healing,
she finds him,
a friend in the making.
And in a way he gets her.
Those lonely thoughts in her mind,
he knows all too well.
And even when he breaks down,
spirals out of control,
she's there without judgment.
He doesn't have to pretend,
and neither does she.
Though they are definitely not lovers,
they share so much,
and of course they have other friends who care.
But it's the silent understanding between them
that make this friendship extra special.

I couldn't bare to show you the me that I hated.
The person who I tried so hard to hide in the months I lost myself,
But I was trapped,
haunted everyday by the darkest of nightmares I locked away.

And in a burst of light,
you came with the key in hand,
taking my memories,
and opening my heart.
You didn't shred them
or try to make me forget.
You handled them with care,
and stood by and watched as I fell apart,
ready to pick me up at a moment's notice.
I wasn't okay and you knew that,
not caring one bit,
still looking at me with those same warm eyes.

And after all this time,
I finally realized I didn't have to hold the lock anymore.
As long as I had you,
I could show every scar,
every nightmare,
and every mess I made.
But I could also show the me that now wanted to heal,
that now wanted to be better.