I don't know you anymore
Your face is a whisper in my mind
I flinch when I see you, however why I'm unsure
I'm afraid if we talk then I'll seem unkind

I do not wish to know you longer
Your voice as a thousand bells ringing along
You're happy when I'm not, and you're far stronger
Whenever I'm lost, you seem to belong

i've compared you to
oceans
drugs and
storms
to light
water
love and
more

i've crafted a million different metaphors
just to try and capture your beauty

but the truth is
you're just a boy
a boy i found perfection in

in every breath you took
and every atom in your ******* body
i found a reason to love

s.s

it's a good thing i don't share my writing with you
because if i did,
you'd see that
you
are the boy with the ocean eyes and
i
am not really okay.

time has healed
everything but the memories,
of which still spring up on me unexpectedly
through the radio playing your favorite song
or me seeing your eyes in every cerulean thing i look at.
the pain is still there,
but it's a bittersweet pain,
the kind that will never erase you from my life completely.
i never said i wanted to erase you from my life completely.
forgive my tears but
i'm moving on.

he's sitting right next to me
but i still feel his absence as if i'd never met him,
the wondering if my life could be made better by one person.
it rains all the time now,
now that we've been broken.
now that i've broken things.
now that you've broken me.
i can only say "i miss you" so many times,
but the ache inside me is so deep
i can't remember what it's like to be sunny.
i always thought heartbreak was overdramatic
but now i see
it has never been expressed enough-
no amount of lyrics,
poems
or advice could prepare me
for the pain of living without you.

i am not his responsibility.
i am supposed to be strong.
i am supposed to be self-loving, independent.
i am not supposed to need him,
to yearn for his honey drenched words to shower over me
until my tears have dried.
it is not fair that he is my drug,
that i am more addicted to him than i could ever be
to anything else.
it scares me just how much
i can't live without him.