She is a complex orb of energy
Her physicality radiates the freshness of the ocean breeze.
Her eyes the stars on a clear night in Switzerland.
Her laugh is the first taste of ice cream on a hot day.
Yellow at first glance, she radiates warmth and joy.
Yet, like any other energy
she is infinite
the beautiful clouds that turn to thick fog
and the waves of sea turning dark and reckless,
a beautiful mess
when viewed from afar
it sure is a beautiful mess from afar.
But as being captain of this sinking ship
I only look for light to save me.
Its scary knowing that the source that can save you
is also the source of your devastating fate.
When the black outweighs the yellow,
and you are hoping to see the clouds part...
what are you to do?

This is my secret getaway.
My long lost friend
A destination for myself to find peace.
Isn't it beautiful when no one you know will read your thoughts?
A place where you fully, and honestly, with every piece of you.
Do Not Care.

When did this become so difficult?
writing just to write,
feeling to feel,
are you speaking to speak,
or speaking to be heard?
I am speaking to myself
for myself
by myself
with myself
to better understand what secrets my conscious knows about me.

I drift away in the LA sunset every evening around 7.
The sidewalks swallowed by cultured faces,
The road paved with burnt rubber,
The sound of children running with untied laces,
The palm trees sway in a smooth shutter.
This is where I was born,
This is where I will die,
As the sun dunks over the deep waters,
And the stars kiss the sky.

Sometimes I run.
I just run and I can't seem to stop.
My arms glide through the fogged night air.
I don't mind my arms burning,
It feels nice,
I feel alive.
My whole body moving as a machine,
not even I can stop.
I am more alive than you.
I am as lost as you,
but I am alive.

I.
can't.
breathe.
anymore.