Self-studying is the dichotomy of enthusiastically knowing more and insignificantly knowing nothing, along with the roots and branches of motivation

I just use constructive proofs, which creates or gives a method of creating an object.
I use intuitionistic logic by not using the law of the excluded middle where either the proposition of its negation is true.
I use the law of non-contradition and law of identity.
Or, maybe I just use a lot of fuzzy logic, which utilizes data that is vague or imprecise.

I found a reason to continue.

Math is a kind of "Chaos magic" - look it up.
How symbols are used, determines the effects from doing it.
D- or F material for a school, but sublime sunshine autodidactic style.

Autodidacticism is about making my study space become alive with the insight of other self-directed learners.
From Addison's dad, Mr. Strilich, Mr. Philpott, to even da Vinci.
Thanks guys.

Differential manifolds works on the visual status of my brain just as elements or compounds reacting with each other exchanging electrons.
How simple to imply, how hard to deduce.
Who needs these similes?

I just like to keep an inch of coffee in my mug.

Existence that remains unknown is existence without rules.
Since 'kun fiya kun' or "Be, and it is" is so basic,
the only answer to "being" that solves is b+e=be.
Still I question: "what am I, now?" as if I've never heard an answer.

My mind cannot cognize its own existence with "be" nor another verb.
Its rationality is as truth, which has no limits.
Yet, in the midst of expansion it asks "what am I?"
Answering: "fullness" is rejected when I can reject the fullness.

"Disbelief" is what I am when everything is going right but I must say "I am not there yet".
This disbelief is the wind in my sails, without it I would not have gone anywhere.
For even positive knowledge says "there is more to find", really saying "you are not you".
Thus, I am never.
Whereby "be" laughs and says "still, there is nothing".