me,
worthless,
stupid me,

myself,
no one cares,
why should they,
i don't,

I,
can't do it anymore,
it's getting too cold,

me,
silly,
dumb me,

myself,
i hate myself,
and so do you,
i know it,

I,
am over it,
the voices in my mind

Stop acting
like you don't
give a ****;
I know you do.
stop bringing me d
                                o
                             ­   w
                                n
further than I already
am. Don't push me in
the hole I'm f
                         a
                            l
                              l
 ­                               i
                                ­  n
                                     g
in anyway, without your
help. Stop pretending
your life has no meaning
and trying to be like me.
you can smile and be
happy whilst I am still
empty. Nothing makes it
better and you trying to
understand doesn't help.
Just STOP!
You will never get it, you
just puncture; making
things                 worse.
letting                 me stand
with a                 hole in my
body                   and all the
pain but nothing leaving.

Oh, that I could make you feel what's in my heart.
I wish you could feel how much I love you.
That I could show you how much you mean to me,
and leave you without a shadow of a doubt how
much that is.

To some how articulate how important you are.
You...my story.....my reason......
for living, laughing, crying, breathing...being.
My true north....my truth.

I wish you could truly feel my love.
That all I had to do is hold you, kiss you,
look into your eyes and you would know.
That I completely, absolutely, irrevocably love you.

With all that I am....all that I was....all I'll ever be....
I love you.
That is my wish.
Oh!  If only you could feel what's in my heart!

Roses fade away,
Beauty wont always stay,
Your beauty in my heart,
Will never ever depart.

Lost in a landfill of thoughts,
Blocked by my heart
Till finally it was caught.
High hopes have taken over
And life is always an exposure.
With reality killing spirits
Just trying to keep composure.
I just hope you hear me,
Crying out for a plea.
Only wanting everyone to stand back and really see,
That I forever am and will always be just me.
Realistically speaking,
I have always yearned to flee.
Figuratively speaking you don't want to know me.
And I will always love and be loved gratefully.
But please do proceed cautiously.

have sieved the
ruins of discarded
things,

sometimes finding
in an old magazine,
women looking
through you
with ageless eyes

block square keys of
a typewriter,
cardboard covers
of fragile messages,
images of shattering
glass,
empty bottles of
RAT POISON,

‘Kamasutra for beginners'
‘The lonely wife’
other clandestine
books, sometimes,
extracted from some
secret wardrobe chamber,
wrapped in brown paper

school notebooks with
red tick-marks, blots, rights,
wrongs, devastating
stories of marks, homework,
a light bulb that still works,
the legs of a chair,
toy horses, toy cars,
scratched plastic

gaping holes in mugs,
buckets, fake notes
from a crumpled game
of monopoly,
a chewed dog's collar,
a heavy rusted *****,
every night in my dreams,
they come hopping over a barn,
now you know,
that I do not count sheep