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 Mar 2016 Masked Marauder
Nathan
I want back what I have lost.
To be whole once more,
To find the piece that fits.
I can't feel much;
But what I can,
Is just enough
To get up again.
The hope that tomorrow,
I'll find someone new,
To help me place the pieces;
To show me love again
 Mar 2016 Masked Marauder
B
Untitled
 Mar 2016 Masked Marauder
B
You asked me what my biggest fear is and I'm sure you were expecting something ordinary like heights or snakes or swimming at night which yes, I admit I am afraid of, but that's not my biggest fear. My biggest fear is you realizing how big of a mess I am. I get drunk too much and don't sleep enough. I spend more time running away rather than trying to keep the people I care about more than anything close. I need constant reassurance and I don't know how to make decisions. My biggest fear is that you're going to realize that you didn't really know me at all. You know the little things about me but you've never seen me at 2 am when I'm shaking so hard it hurts and I can't breathe for who knows what reason. My biggest fear is that you're going to watch the stars fade from my eyes and you're not going to see anything left in me.





                                     B.S.
it's not your fault baby bird
they never taught you how to fly.
you were forced out of the nest
while they watched you fall and die.
ᴍjᴍ
My father lost the balance of his mind
in World War II
& the rest followed from Parkinsons,
Dementia, PTSD, paranoia
& ghosts that haunted him
in the middle of the night.
What did he die for?
So politicians & generals
could manipulate us into believing
that endless war is “normal”?
So bankers could pocket billions
while children starve and sleep in the streets
in this land of so-called liberty?
So veterans can beg for money
with jars draped in red & white flags
outside the grocery store
& we all pitch in the silver?
Someone please tell me that this is not why
I was emotionally orphaned at birth
or why I can not recall his weathered hands
without seeing them tremble.
searching through the heavens
for you my blue eyed beauty
above these darkling shadows
that shroud and ring my heart
come to me in innocence
come to me unbound and true
and take my broken heart
unto your silken palms
and heal me
It kills me to think of your innocence
In how you loved everything
In your belief that everyone was good
Then I barged into your life
Ruined you in ways unimaginable
I swear I loved you but I couldn't show it
I tried to tell you I was broken
But this pride wouldn't allow me

I can't apologize and I can't console you
I restrain myself from trying to see you
You'll move on and everything will be okay
The memory of me will be nothing more
Then a blemish on your perfect skin
My perfume will no longer intoxicate you
It'll blend with your scent and attract everyone
You'll find someone deserving of your love

I will cover every part of my body in shame
Hiding the scars left by your loving touch
Strands of my hair that twirled on your finger
Grey every day losing their pigment
I can smell you everywhere I go
Like a stain that set and cannot be removed
Your whispers of promises and happiness
Are now haunting voices driving me insane

I'll continue to be made of rotting material
With a memory of love I never deserved
You'll be this glorious human being
Who realized never to settle for the worst
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