Everytime I see you,
A spark flies.
And as much as I try to dampen my emotions,
They always get out of hand.

I know how this works.
Who hasn't been through it?

I know that you will hurt me,
without even knowing it,
and that I will shatter under the truth.

I know that I will have bruises over my heart,
and desire in my veins.

But soon I will realize that there is someone better,
And I will soar,
Only to get shot down again.

I sit in class and stare at the back of your head
One seat ahead and two to the side
I can see the gentile features that make up your face
I love the glow of your essence
The magic that you dawn as your crown
I love you but I can’t tell you
The shadow you cast is what makes my world dark
But there’s no way for you to know
I want to hold you close and look in your eyes
And tell you how you free me
There are no assigned seats in college
But I count on your seat being filled
I need your existence so I am held in check
I need you to show me I am nothing
Just a speck in the sands of time
The sand in between your toes
As you walk on the beach with your boyfriend
And I am left wondering what my life would be like
If I could be with the girl
One step forward, two steps right
And a million miles away

Years go by
And I stay put
I don’t move
From those memories
We shared
All those things
I don’t want to forget
I just want to stay
With those love letters
I kept in my backpack
Time is whirring by
Whistling because
It is moving so fast
The world spinning
Like a lightning fast
Merry-go-round
Where I am
The only one
Who sees the real thing
I loved you
But you never loved me
I guess that’s hard to accept

You are the roads in Venice
Getting lost in your voice
Like getting lost in those streets
So hard to find my way out
But maybe I don’t want to
Maybe I want to wander these streets
And eat pasta and pizza
And dream of a life with you
You say you need to go
But your eyes plead
For a reason to stay
In your eyes I see Venice
And the people in the town center
Enjoying their gorgeous city
You ask me if I love you
And I lean in to kiss you
And whisper how much I love you
But you were never there

I wrote a poem
For you
I tried to change
For you
But I am
Light years away
Too far for you
To even realize
This is about you
I want to explain
My love
For your every aspect
When I see you
I see
An angel
Floating through the mist
A silhouette
In the moonlight
The only shine
Is the sparkle in your eyes
The mist clears away
From the light of your love
I see long brown hair
And eyes
That cry
Laugh
Sing
Sing the songs of love
The songs of loss
The songs of the millions
That feel this way
The first time they see you
Your voice is
A fragile
Priceless
Beautiful
Stained glass window
In a church
A window
Through which
I see my faith
My love
Your voice
Is a beautiful bird
Soaring quietly
Majestic
Royal
Up in the heavens
A blind man
Could see
How much you care
About the unfortunate
A deaf man
Could hear
How much emotion
You put in to everything
Pouring out your heart
Sometimes
I try to talk to you
And you actually listen
But I wish you could
Read my mind
Itself
Because
My tongue
Jumps out of my mouth
And I stutter
And sound
Like an idiot
When I try
To talk to you
I would quote poets
And artists
And musicians
From years ago
But you blow them away
I wish my words
Could explain
How I feel
And how I fell

And this is where
This poem gets dark
Sad for me
But good for you
I know I’m not
The only one
Out there for you
The only one
Who would light candles
And bring you roses
Dozen by dozen
With your breakfast in bed
It’s not about ***
No
It’s about
Love
Belonging
Faith
Maybe he is like this
Like me but
Better looking
Better sounding
I have no way
To take his place
So I might as well
Let go
Let go of the fantasy
Of stealing a kiss
On the beach
Under the fireworks
Let go of the belief
That only you
Can free me
I guess
I should just
Let go

You are part of my future
I hope
I quote Bon Jovi a lot
About you
He says what I can’t
He says
“I want you
Like the roses want the rain
I need you
Like the poet needs the pain”
He’s right
Love at first sight
But real
It’s like I can’t be too close to beauty
I wear bug spray
That only works
On butterflies
I want you
Like you are in my mind
I picture sitting
Across from you at family dinners
Looking you in the eye
Like we share some big secret
You in a blue dress
Spinning in a meadow
More beautiful
Than the flowers
I picture my first
Real smile
Smiling back
At your glee
I picture
A slow dance
In a crowd
But we don’t care
We don’t see them
I picture
You in a raincoat
Enjoying the rain
Because it helps
The flowers
I picture
A dinner for two
Near the window
Overlooking the sea
I picture
The sea itself
When I look into
Your sea-green eyes
I talk myself down
Then shut the f**k up
I sing a song
About love
Jon Bon Jovi says
“I never wanted the stars
Never shot for the moon
I like them right where they are
All I wanted was you”
I want you
To want me
But if you ever need
As JBJ said
“Someone beside you
Someone to cry to”
I am here
For you
I want to do
Anything you want me to
I would take you to
A pop concert
Even though
I hate pop
Hell
I would go to a
Yankees game for you
But I know
You like the Sox
So no big deal
I picture
Dark clouds
Clearing out
I want to sing to you
And play you the guitar
And drum a rhythm
On my leg
As I wait for you
To get ready
I want to lose myself
In your eyes
I picture
Growing old
And sitting beside you
On the porch
Looking back
At all those memories
That haven’t happened yet
Material goods blind us
Experiences shape us
But you turn
Me to us
You are the link
Neither material good
Nor experience
I picture
Us