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Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
January brings sweet pie crust promises,
so easily made and effortlessly broken.
While my sofa creaks beneath good intentions,
As carrot cake still declares itself a healthy salad.

Gym memberships
and weight loss programs multiply,
like my calorie-counting motivation,
that I will probably grow bored of by spring,
as I swear that this year I will get fit.
Just like last year,
and the year before.

My to-do lists stretch longer than my Christmas credit card bill,
while the front cover of my new planner encouragingly exclaims

Get organised!

This will probably lay forgotten by March,
next to my old dusty yoga mat.
Yet, another failed quest
for Zen and mindfulness.

But here I am again,
recycling hopes
like yesterday's Asti bottles,
as I believe in the magic of midnight.

When the calendar pages flip over
and suddenly,
everyone is engrossed
in the thoughts of New Year,
New me resolutions.

Like I'm supposed to become
A marathon-running
Smoothie-drinking
Organised
Book-reading
Healthy­ eating
Meditation guru
Who still can't resist
Tucking into pizza at midnight?!

Maybe this year I will just resolve
To be a little kinder to the me
Who tries
And fails
And tries again
And fails.

©️Lizzie Bevis
I think that the only new years resolution I've kept is the one where I vowed to stay alive!

Happy new year all!
I hope that 2025 brings you everything that you desire! 🥂
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
I feel these erratic rhythms
                                               beneath my ribs,
Each heartbeat becomes a
precarious
                 dance
          Between normality
and
      disarray
                    Until my
body surrenders,
and
it all
becomes
a
blur.

Time
stretches
in the QT interval,
                               Too long, too dangerous,
A simple electrical
glitch
          That turns
                            my pulse
into a sprinting
beat
       pounding
                       out
       warnings.

My ICD
becomes
my shield,
While
adrenaline
            lurks like an assassin
Waiting to
trigger the storm.
                    As stress and
excitement
                become
calculated risks,
                And life becomes
a minefield.

My ECG reveals all in peaks and valleys, each prolonged wave becomes a reminder that my heart keeps its own peculiar time.

This electrical maze requires vigilance
A constant awareness
of my heart's delayed signature,
Its prolonged encore
after each performance,
Laying bare my vulnerability
as I dice with death every time.

…And in all honesty
It scares me.


©️Lizzie Bevis
Vulnerability and mortality are two things that I have had to learn to accept over the past 10 years.
Having a life long illness so young is devastating.
What I would give to climb mountains and run again.
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
Not all victories wear medals of gold,
Some hide in moments,
overlooked and untold.
They were found in a deep sigh,
In a smile and through tears,
when days were long,
when you wished for hope
and a will to be strong.

With each sunrise met
when rest felt incomplete,
and with each foul day weathered,
with heavy feet.
These too are triumphs,
written into each trial,
between survival and each mile.

When you carried on when it felt too much,
found peace in chaos, with a patient touch.
Building castles from the ruins of your plans,
and held faith like water
cupped in trembling hands.

Count the small victories, every single one,
each battle fought and silently won.
For perseverance begins with each try,
and strength lives within
the desire to thrive.

This year that's passing,
Has been harsh and kind,
And left its markings on your mind.
Yet here you stand, still breathing deeply,
With hope your heart has learned to keep.
In a quiet victory, that is yours to hold
Worth more than any medal of gold.

©️Lizzie Bevis
For me, personally 2024 has been shocking, it certainly hasn't been without its challenges, but I am here and I am hoping that 2025 will be much better.
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
My mind weaves endless knots
As uncertainty looms.
Each worry a weight,
Each fear a chain,
Of Tomorrow's
What-ifs and maybes.
Here, at the edge
Of doubt's territory,
Where mind meets mystery,
Faith plants its quiet seed.

Like a dawn mist dissolving
In the morning's first light,
My worries fade beneath
Faith's gentle hand.
It is not a blind belief,
But a trust that falls
Like gentle rain
Onto parched earth,
Growing gardens
Where deserts once ruled.

I often carry mountains
In my mind,
Yet, I must learn to hold
Just a pebble of faith
Instead of Atlas's burden.
When in the borderlands
Between fear and trust,
Transformation begins;
Where heavy loads grow lighter
And doubt bows down
To possibility's acceptance.

When worry builds walls,
Faith carves windows.
When fear holds tight,
Faith liberates.
I know of its presence
In steadying calming breaths,
With shoulders unburdened,
In questions becoming answers
And my anxious thoughts
Scatter like leaves
Into a forgiving wind.

©️Lizzie Bevis
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
They mistake my softness for weakness,  
Like petals scattered in storms of hurt;  
Not seeing how deep my roots extend  
Through layers of wisdom and lessons learned.  

Each kind word I choose to speak  
Is backed by mountains moved in silence;  
Each tender touch I dare to give  
Springs from battles fought with resilience.  

I've learned that armour weighs down the spirit,
Thorns can wound the hand holding the stem;
While my quiet strength flows like morning light,  
Warming others without consuming them.  

So let them wonder at my gentleness,  
Let them question my peaceful stance;  
Because I have found that mighty rivers  
Flow with grace and not arrogance.  

In a world of sharpened daggers,  
I choose to be the sheltering tree,  
Not because I cannot withstand the storm,  
But because I’ve learned to just simply be.  

My strength lies in understanding  
That my heart does not need to prove,
The power that sustains its caring beat  
And the quiet force that dares to love.  

©️Lizzie Bevis
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
In the emptiness of this moment,
I am witness to an avalanche.
My world, once solid
Is now water running through
My desperate fingers.

They say time stops in freefall,
but this isn't stopping;
This is stretching,
Like toffee pulled to its limits
Until the strands give and snap.

I stand so very still,
Like a statue carved
From all of this numbness,
Watching pieces of myself
Scatter like startled pigeons.

The sound.
Oh, the sound.
It is not in the breaking of,
But in its absence;
With so many conversations
That we'll never start or finish.

As empty rooms
Greet me with silence,
And dust motes float
Through spaces where
Our dreams once lived.

And all the while,
This acceptance
wraps around me like smoke,
And I know.
Oh, how I know,
That this is how change begins.

Not with wings,
But with the death
Of everything
That was once
So familiar.

©️Lizzie Bevis
Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
Wisdom spills like morning light
From youthful lips untouched by spite,
Pure and simple, crystal clear,
With virtue adults long to hear.

Why is the sky grey and blue?
Why is there a shadow over the moon?
Questions that we've long forgotten,
Wrapped in wonder, freshly gotten.

They see the world with untrained eyes,
No filters yet to cloud their skies,
No prejudice to dim their sight,
Just raw perception and pure delight.

In their logic, direct and true,
Lives the insight we once knew,
Before the world grew complicated,
Before our minds were educated.

So when curious children do speak,
Their random thoughts, pure and unique,
For in their words, both odd and sage,
Lies innocence that vanishes as we age.

©️Lizzie Bevis
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