He left for good today,
It was earlier than expected and without notice,
Just a voice on the phone
Saying, “He’s gone”.

I went to the place where he lived
Hoping it was a mistake, but he was gone,
Hard to believe,
Difficult to accept,
But he is gone and my world is a lot scarier.

I’ve got his place now and I am not the man he was
Because he made it easier for me than it was for him.
He did this selflessly and with
Joy because I was his son.
  
Am his son.

An honor I didn’t have to earn,
Yet I want to be worthy of it.
So, I have to find my balance
And do what he did for me when it was his turn.

There are people behind me
Who need the things he gave me and
There are people behind them.
Though the shoes they must fill are smaller
Than the ones I step into.

Safe journey home, dad.
I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it all.
Rest well ‘til then

Forgotten ***

I felt caged in by lust and desire
Suddenly, this famous quote came to mind

In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves, and then, in that very moment when I love them.... I destroy them.” ― Orson Scott Card,

I am tired of being nice; I want to be honest,
I want to say to him, you ******* simpleton,
It wasn’t about the ***; it wasn’t about the love,
If she doesn’t want him after all those years,
Why does he think I would want him now?
he can’t even love himself, long enough
Without, thinking about what is driving him insane
She wins again,
She destroys the man within

Butane*

I swallowed knives,
coughed up blood,
your un-inked mistakes
entered my body
and you didn't feel
like love anymore,
you were mind-numbing,
a flame guzzler,
itching for someone
to love you
no matter how
fake you were.

darling, didn't you know I'd turn you into poetry?

"she needs something stronger than that..."
from psychiatrist to psychiatrist.

"it's from your side of the family..."
from parent to parent.

"Remember me?"*
from my mind.

There's a ******* train.
C'mon, don't you hear it?

Look, I'm not insane.
IT'S A TRAIN!
Don't you see it?

Dude, it's a train!
Don't you smell it?

Oh, I understand...
That's how love feels like.