They say be happy about the days God give you to live to experience another breath and all the humanly things that makes a person human. But I can't stress it enough on how ungreatful I am to even be alive and go through the things that makes me think. On a daily note I wake up with my own germs and the thought of aging simply for nothing. I once thought as you age things will get better though there would be minor setbacks; however life has taught me well to never underestimate. In my dreams I see my death as beautiful as ever some in which I'm hanging from the rope tied to the ceiling of my fan and some where I'm walking upstairs in my apartment to make it to the top of the world falling from the edge. When I awake I'm left to feel misery of another day. I've met God and the devil... They look like me just on the flip side they have power over what's to come in my unneeded life


By: Leory Santana dawn

I suffocate in my reality of living
I'd rather much be anywhere but here
If this is hell then I must agree it's a beautiful mess oppose to the heavens that others speak of that I've yet seen.
My thoughts are like sparrows within the winds of this hell and a tale to be told and not heard
I'd rather much be dying of nothing oppose to dying with complications of analysing life by it's consistent source of energy and what comes in every package
I'm a empty glass of water and a struggle for myself to drink from and yet I'd rather be the dirt that grows weeds to be pulled from
My insight is valued as nothing more than a sight that's obvious... Life is a nightmare to sleep on when everyday ends the same with the same thoughts.
To tell many of you the truth that reads this I truly rather be trapped within my sleep other than be here with any of you.
Living deprives you of your last even when you gain more

I know I may not live long  this year for many unknown reasons, but please rest assure knowing that I’ve loved you and I apologize for not telling you any sooner.



I’m choking on my last breath I take and I can’t seem to find any other means to care. I’m stuck in my struggles of not caring... who knows me better than I?
I can’t crawl or climb above the surface of all my doubts and beliefs.





Last night she was a glimpse of empty pleasure, a cup filled with potential wishes. Her eyes reflected her love and desire for me and I couldn’t have possibly understood the type of love she felt for me. I took the chances of being her shoes for once and at that instance I was able to comprehend what I was doing to her to cause her to feel such compassion. She kissed me gently and with every touch and breath there was another story to be understood