I love making people happy
but to see You smile
is what I have always
longed for

When your ex,
Texts you on some..
"Babyyyy where you been?
I miss you and i need you, always feel you like the wind"....

**** you left me though?..
Why'd you even save my phone?..
I thought we went our separate ways i thought that we were grown?..

That's when she calls me up, && i smell it in her tone..
If only she knew, Alcohols a quick escape and not a home..

Shes like..
"Naaaa nah bruh,
ive only dranken just a lil.....
But in honesty,
like really we should go on dr.phil.."

Proceeds, on some..

"i need a ride, whats for dinner, why dont we go visit moms"
playing the Weeknd, on a weekend, its The Same Old Song.

i always pick her up, and drop her off at Katie's..
******, like **** you know **** well she can get this crazy!
Now Katie's mad like, "****, you be her roommate then!"
I'm like, that was the plan but that **** caved in..

Well, this will probably happen again next week, & the week after.
what a long, sad and repetitive chapter..
i mean to most drunk texting is a matter of laughter,
but it leads me to drunk text her back & attack her...

On some,
"Babeeee where you been...
I miss you and a need you, & i feel you like the wind.."

Shes like..we talked about this before..you never hit me up when your sober.

I'm like,
"nor do you, so so so when you coming over?"

She hangs up. .
Happens twice a month.
im sober when shes drunk..
& when shes sober im a chump.

relationship? Or relation-****?
Either way,
Far from a REALationship.

But i guess you can say, at least we speak it could be worse...
by the way, later today its my turn to text her first..




-afj

This isn't love, This isn't hate.
This is that sorta thing hard to relate.
This isn't luck, this isn't fate,
This is that sorta thing hard to escape.

This is the truth, this is a lie,
This is my reason for getting on by,
This is a low, this is a high,
This is the reason I ask myself, why?.

This is a story that shouldn't be wrote.
This is a saying that you shouldn't quote.
This is a struggle that I've never spoke,
This is the reason I'm rowing the boat.

Why am I rowing the boat?

Refusing to sink,
3 a.m and i think,
By 5 a.m &I; might be crouched over a sink,

What of this life,
So called living,
so called, i haven't felt full since thanksgiving.

So called, so called...
God did his roll call,

And for a second I hesitated.
And whispered, Here... You?
The reply i got was..

I Hear You.



-afj

For the wolf
the Moon is a curse
a foul transformation of pain and shame
forced upon him by nature herself.

For the Sea
the Moon is a cruel lover
forever sending her away pushing her aside
only to draw her back in again endlessly.

For the Poet
the Moon is a torturer
forcing upon her emotions of all sorts
we feel happiness, and love, life and death under it's light.

The Wolf picks himself up once more, survives another night.
The Sea cries salty tears of scorn, but yet she returns once again.
So also must the poet pick herself back up, and carry on another sleepless night.

Love
is
Powerful,
Painful
and
Unpredictable**



I love you all.

I cannot escape
your pull on me
like the pull of the moon
tugging on the ocean of my soul
changing the tides within me.

You wake something within me
a curse,
something savage and beautiful.

I, like the wolf
am changed in your light
turned into something new.

I long to run
paws to the ground
long to howl at the night
nothing holding me back
but your gentle, changing light.

So, if you are the moon
if you are change
let me be the wolf
let me be changed.